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Queer As Folk
recap: Season Four Premiere
(original air date 18 April 2004)
THIS
WEEK'S QAF FAQ:
- Why
should Emmett dump Ted?
Because if he doesn't, I won't be able to make it through
the season.
-
Are there still lesbians on this show?
Um, well, as much as there ever have been. In other
words, barely.
-
How great is Deb?
The. Greatest. Ever.
-
Why are you still watching this show, now that
we have The L Word?
Because QAF is better in a lot of ways, and also because
I have a crush on Emmett. And Brian. And of course Melanie!
The
New Opening Titles — Hey! Hooray! I've been
hating the opening titles since the very first episode
of this show, and finally they've changed them. Now the
actual characters are in the montage -- along with the
anonymous bulgy boys -- and the whole thing is much more
friendly and much more in keeping with the tone of the
show. It mixes images of raw sexuality with images of
real love and affection, of many stripes -- and that combination
is what's great about QAF. Plus Melanie and Lindsay are
kissing, so it's all good.
La-La
Land — A drag queen is doing "What
I Did For Love" from A Chorus Line. She's
not the most stunning drag queen you've ever seen, but
it's a good look, I guess. But I'm calling it "La-La
Land" because the whole thing is kind of dreamlike,
and also sort of Twin Peaks-y, and generally unsettling
for some reason. Anyway, just as she's singing "What
I did for love," the "love" is replaced
by Brian saying "Shit." Brian! You're such an
asshole. I've missed you.
Brian's
loft — Brian's whining to Justin about all
of the solicitations he gets -- no, not that kind of solicitation.
He's getting stuff in the mail from charities and foundations
and other people who want his money. Of course, he doesn't
have any money, because he put it to very good use last
season in order to keep that Stockwell jerk from becoming
mayor. And maybe his financial crisis has affected his
hair: it doesn't look very good right now. Hmm, maybe
his hair is finally thinning! The horror! Justin's hair
looks pretty great though, and judging by the previews,
it might be the last time I say that.
Brian's
also complaining about his credit card bills. Justin takes
a look at them:
Justin:
"I've never seen so many zeroes."
Brian: "Except for at a mixer
at the Gay and Lesbian Center."
Justin
offers to help Brian out, and in the process of doing
so, he says, "I thought we were partners." It
confuses me at first; I think "when did they decide
to really be a couple?" until I realize that Justin
means they're partners in the Rage comic book venture.
I think maybe Brian has the same reaction I did, though,
because he kind of stares at Justin before agreeing that
they are indeed partners. It doesn't matter, of course,
because Brian won't accept: he doesn't need anyone's money
or help. He just needs a drink, but the bottle he picks
up is empty, so the scene changes suddenly, because it's
time we got to the heart of the show: the bar.
Babylon
— Brian orders a Chivas Regal. Justin tries
to pay for it, but Brian won't let him. They make their
way to the back room, while Justin tries to convince Brian
that it's okay for people to do a few things for him right
now, because without him, Liberty Avenue would be a police
state. It's a rather average conversation, made more so
by comparison to the shocking surroundings: guys fucking
from every angle and in every corner. Justin interrupts
himself at one point to say hello to a guy named Todd,
who's busy being banged from behind but not too busy to
say hello. I could roll my eyes, but I'm giggling.
They
find an available piece of wall. Justin, still on his
soapbox, says Brian can't accept help because he always
has to be the one in control, the one on top. Brian agrees
and turns Justin to face the wall. Yeah, now I'm rolling
my eyes.
A
sidewalk — Hunter's mom -- not a real character,
just a two-dimensional shrewish plot device -- confronts
Ben, wanting to know where Hunter is. Ben pretends Hunter
has run off and that Michael has gone to look for him,
but Hunter's mom isn't buying it. She threatens Ben with
a custody suit and also mentions kidnapping and "contributing
to the delinquency of a minor." What? Lady, have
you taken a good look at Ben? Why the hell would Michael
be interested in contributing to Hunter's delinquency
when he has Beefy Ben waiting for him? Hunter's mom stomps
off after telling Ben he's a smart guy and can figure
out how many years his "sweetie" could be locked
up for. Step off, bitch!
Melanie
and Lindsay's house — Mel is sifting through
the mail: she too has lots of solicitations. And hey,
when you look like that, what can you expect? She has
a new haircut, of course -- I think that's happened at
least once per season so far -- and is foxy as ever. Lindsay
notes that Ted gets all the same mail. I think we are
supposed to wonder why she has Ted's mail, but I'm too
busy wondering how many episodes we'll have to sit through
before Mel and Linds have sex again.
Emmett
arrives -- oh, that's right, he's staying with Melanie
and Lindsay while Ted gets his shit together. He tells
them he's got to slip into a bubble bath before he heads
out to the benefit he and Vic are hosting. Gosh, do I
sense a theme to this episode? Then he notices the sad
little orchid on the table and thinks it's odd that it
looks so much like Ted's orchid, which they called "Droopy."
Please don't make a Viagra joke, Emmett.
Melanie
says "Say hello to Droopy," which prompts Emmett
to launch his first fabulous line of the season: "What
are you doing with it? Lesbians are notorious for having
black thumbs." Melanie and Lindsay confess that they're
picking up Ted's mail and taking care of his plants while
he's in rehab. Emmett is not impressed, or at least pretends
not to be. Linds and Mel encourage him to go along when
they visit Ted, but Em's not interested. He reminds Mel
that she wasn't so supportive at first either. Mel and
Lindsay -- who always finish each other's sentences and
thus make me want to call them "Lindanie" or
"Melsay" for recapping purposes -- say that
Ted's trying to help himself, and isn't that what Emmett
wanted? No, actually, I think Emmett wanted a sweet, geeky
boyfriend, and has every right to feel bitter and cheated
because a Big Bad Narcotic took that away from him.
A
crappy motel — Hunter is changing the channels
and driving Michael crazy. He's eaten all the barbecue
chips and Captain Crunch. Unfortunately -- and unlike
everyone else -- Hunter doesn't seem to have sought out
a barber during the hiatus, so he still looks like a surly
little orphan boy. He and Michael ramble on about their
lack of money and food. The phone rings: it's Ben. Of
course he wants to know whether they're okay, and also
wants to warn them about Hunter's mom. I'm supposed to
be worried, right? I dunno; it's hard to feel threatened
by a character who's so stereotypical and so underwritten,
she's like a gay character on regular TV. Hey, it's reverse
tokenism! Nicely done.
Hunter
storms out into the stormy weather to rustle up some food.
I think the rain is supposed to add to the foreboding
ominous-ness. Instead, it just makes Michael seem even
more like a comic book character than he usually does:
the hapless hero on the lam on a dark and stormy night.
Hunter leaves the door open; Michael leans and pouts.
Brian's sexy car is parked right outside. Okay, that's
kind of a nice shot, and I like comic books anyway.
The
Liberty Diner — It's Deb! She's telling
everyone that it's been "three fucking days"
since she last heard from Michael. She's wearing a shirt
that says "fuck yoga." Deb, will you please
switch over to The L Word so I can meet you there and
we can get married?
Deb
is so distraught, she's messing up orders: Lindsay says
"I got the tuna melt," which makes me laugh.
Brian, you know you want to say something about that.
The
gang tries to reassure Deb, but she's not having it: this
is the first time since Michael learned how to pick up
the phone that they haven't talked three times a day.
Everyone's a bit taken aback by that little revelation,
but if Deb were my mom, I'd be on the phone with her right
now.
Deb
asks Ben to tell Michael that she loves him up to the
sky and back, and that if he doesn't come back soon she'll
rip his balls off. Melanie offers to make a few calls
to see if she can help with the custody hearing. Good,
I guess you heard me earlier when I was yelling at Ben:
"Call your friend Melanie the lawyer! Duh!"
Deb tries to give Brian his lunch for free. Brian overcompensates
and tries to pay for everyone's lunch, insisting that
he's about to be "reinstated into his former position."
That would be the position fondly known as "top,"
right? Yeah, even this show wouldn't let that happen quite
so quickly.
La-La
Land — The drag queen is doing "There'll
Be Some Changes Made." This time we segue to Ted.
Rehab
— Ted's in a group meeting. He recounts
the awful tale of last season's finale, in which he crashed,
was out for a day or two, and ended up getting gang-banged.
I was traumatized by it then, but I'm a little bored with
it now -- that is, until Scott Lowell manages to make
me feel sad for him all over again. I think this line
is what gets me: "God only knows if they were using
condoms. I'll have to take a test... I don't... I... I
don't feel very optimistic." Poor Ted.
After
the group meeting, Ted talks to Blake, his former pseudo-boyfriend
and the guy who kind of turned him on to drugs -- and
who's now a counselor at the clinic. Ted asks him if he'd
like to have lunch. Blake says he'll be right back; meanwhile,
Ted sees Emmett in a sort of lounge/waiting area.
Ted
proceeds to make all kinds of mean and sarcastic comments,
accusing Emmett of waiting for him to screw up again and
wanting him to fail. Ted, I know why your defenses are
up -- Emmett has seen you at your absolute worst, and
you resent him for it -- but don't hurt Emmett, or I'll
have to come hurt you. And I think I can: you're kind
of tiny.
Blake
shows up; Ted sings his praises in an effort to make Emmett
jealous and cranky. It works: Emmett leaves.
La-La
Land— Now the drag queen is doing "Cry
Me a River." These little interstitials are very
stylized and well done, but they're still kind of creepy.
Gardner
Vance's office — Brian doesn't have to ask
for his job back: after about two sentences of small talk,
Vance asks him to "name his price." Obviously
Brian's given it some thought: he asks for a jacuzzi in
his private bathroom and an unlimited expense account.
Finally, he wants loyalty -- and Gardner's ready to give
it. But then he asks Brian to sign on the dotted line,
and the line is on a non-competition clause. What? He
didn't have one of those before? Apparently not, and that's
why Gardner wants Brian back: he's worried Brian will
take all his ideas and clients with him and become Vangard's
main competitor. Which is exactly what Brian decides to
do, having seen through all the shmooze. You know it must
be hard for him: he was thisclose to getting that jacuzzi!
The
middle of nowhere — Michael has been looking
for Hunter. He finds him at a truck stop, where Hunter
has given a trucker a blow job in order to get money for
dinner. Hmm, maybe the two-dimensionality runs in Hunter's
family. Michael gets pissed off and decides it's time
to go back to Pittsburgh. He's a little bit hokey as he
lectures Hunter, but he might make a good dad after all.
And maybe he'll make that kid get a damn haircut.
Rehab
— Ted is scrubbing the floor. Blake comes
by, wanting to know why he's so testy; Ted says it's because
he's constipated. That's right, you're watching QAF, where
not even bowel movements are taboo. Blake is bugging the
hell out of me: he's got that serene thing going on --
you know, the typical "I've recovered, I've beat
my addiction, and now I understand the secrets of the
universe and am deigning to share them with you"
thing. Fuck off, Blake: you were more interesting when
you were a tweaked-out twink. Unfortunately, Ted still
seems to think you're cute.
Blake
tells Ted that when he (Blake) was in rehab, he (Blake)
took off because he (Blake) couldn't stand to let him
(Ted) see him (Blake) that way. So, Ted/Blake has/had
to cope with Emmett/Ted seeing Ted/Blake at his worst,
and it's difficult and dramatic and all of that, but I've
already talked about it, and the way they're talking about
it now is just annoying and trite.
Blake
reveals that he likes opera now, thanks to Ted. Shut up,
rent boy: you probably think "Seasons of Love"
is profound and don't know Aida from Adidas.
A
sidewalk — Michael and Ben, reunited, are
all kissy-face. Hunter asks for some attention too and
gets a big bear hug from Ben. Meanwhile, Brian is not
happy with the state of his car: it's a muddy mess, and
there are fast food wrappers in it. Brian compares it
to the time he lent Michael his brand new 10-speed and
Michael brought it back all beat up -- and it's no excuse
that he was hit by a bus. Michael interrupts him with
a kiss. Awww! We get to fondly remember the foundation
of this show, which of course is Brian and Michael's friendship.
Brian even calls him "pathetic" for old time's
sake. Brian, have I mentioned that I love your suit? In
my next life, I want to be a sartorially gifted, gorgeous
gay man like you. Or maybe I'll just be a pinstripe on
your best jacket: that way I can experience the high life
without ever having to go to the back room at Babylon.
La-La
Land — This time it's "I Only Have
Eyes For You." Yep: let's get back to Brian.
A
table at a restaurant — Brian is telling
each of various clients that he only has eyes for him/her
and thus wants to make him/her the flagship in his new
agency. It's sort of like that dating scene in Kissing
Jessica Stein, with the camera across the table from
Brian -- only it's not nearly as funny, because Brian
is not really a very funny person, except when he's being
sarcastic or heartless. The humorous grovelling thing
doesn't work for him.
Debbie's
house — Michael can tell that Deb is pissed
at him: even though she's saying "pass the ziti,
sweetie," he knows she's waiting for the right moment
to slap him. There's a knock at the door: it's Melanie
and Lindsay. They've just come from the sing-a-long "Sound
of Music" and are in costume. Mel is Mother Superior
and Lindsay is Friedrich. Their costumes are hilarious,
especially Lindsay's. Vic says, "I can only dream
of what perversions go on in your house." Deb says,
"I bet you worked up an appetite climbing all those
mountains." I know it's dorky, but it's making me
grin. Too bad Melanie and Lindsay rarely get to be anything
other than the wise earth-mothers/community-fosterers/law-givers
or the comic relief. Maybe next week they'll have sex?
Yeah, I'm foolish to hope.
Melanie
(who's finding it a bit hard to emote -- not to mention
move her neck -- in her Mother Superior costume) asks
Hunter for a dollar. He wants to know what for; she explains
that she's petitioned to be his guardian ad litem
so she can represent him at the custody hearing. Ben and
Michael are happy they're doing things "the right
way." Deb takes the opportunity to slap Michael upside
the head and tell him it's better than "running off
without telling your mother." Deb, you rock!
Woody's,
I think — Justin is sure that Brian will
be able to "decimate" Gardner Vance's client
list. He's also picked out a name for Brian's new agency:
"Kinnetic," with two N's. Get it? Brian Kinney.
Brilliant, right? I guess, if you're twelve. Brian tells
Justin he's clever and kisses him. These two are way too
sweet: what happened to the torment and trauma and unrequited
love? That was a lot more interesting.
Speaking
of trauma and torment, elsewhere in the bar Emmett is
crying in his martini. Brian and Justin find him, call
him "Miss Dietrich" and invite him to go to
Babylon with them. But Em says he's not in the mood for
"men, muscles, or music." Emmett, say it ain't
so! Emmett tells them about Blake, a.k.a. "Dr. Boytoy,"
and proposes a drink to Ted's remarkable recovery. Poor
Em.
Ben
and Michael's love nest — Ooh, the explicit
sex is finally here! Michael is still the bottom in this
relationship, I guess. Eeek, did I just see pubic hair?
It's a pretty short sex scene though. The most remarkable
thing about it is Ben's body: it's so perfect, it looks
almost weird. As they bask in the glow, Michael wonders
why Ben loves him. You dork, Michael: it's because you're
cute and sweet and just like a comic book character. Michael
says he feels stupid for running off with Hunter like
that, but Ben says he admires Michael for it and is kind
of jealous of how good a dad Michael's turning out to
be. So much sweetness on this show: where did the edgy
stuff go? Quick shots of pubic hair don't quite make the
grade.
Brian's
loft — Justin arrives, and is surprised
to find his mom there. But she's a real estate agent,
remember? And Brian is trying to sell his precious loft.
I like Justin's mom, whose name I think is Jennifer, but
it would be funnier if her name were Justine. She greets
Justin with a "hi, honey," and then Brian says
"hi, honey" too. Yep: sarcastic Brian is still
funny. Anyway, Jennifer tells Brian that his place is
kind of "special" and might be hard to sell
-- and after rambling on a bit, she finally says "Let's
face it, Brian. It's a fuckpad." Hee!
Justin
is shocked to hear that Brian is selling his loft. Brian
says, "Well, it was either cut my expenses or cut
my wrists, so I've just opted for the tidier of the two."
Justine, I mean Jennifer, leaves, promising to call Brian
later so they can set a price. She says she won't be charging
commission: "After all you've done for Justin, it's
the least I can do." What a cool mommy you have,
Justin. I can't decide who I want to adopt me: Jennifer
or Deb. Or maybe Jennifer and Deb should get married and
then adopt me. Or maybe I should drop this little adoption
ruse and suggest a threesome.
Justin
tells Brian he can't sell his loft and wants to know why
he needs to, what with his new agency and all. But Brian
says his clients turned him down: "Best laid plans
of mice and ad-men." Justin can't accept the idea
of Brian broke and loft-less, all because of Stockwell:
Justin:
"You never should have listened to me."
Brian: "I didn't. I listened
to me. Besides, it's just four walls and a floor...
and top-of-the-line appliances and stainless steel countertops.
And imported Italian fixtures and --"
Justin: "It's more than that.
It's where we made love for the first time."
Brian: "That wasn't love.
I just gave you a rim job and fucked your brains out."
Justin: "Hmm. It was love
to me."
They
smooch again. This is all fine and good, but are we to
believe that Justin has finally made an honest man out
of Brian? Is there no promiscuity left on Showtime?
Debbie's
house — Vic is hammering lobsters. Emmett
is looking on and battling a hangover. They whine about
how much nicer Ted's kitchen was. Debbie comes home and
joins the whining and ranting. Emmett tells them to be
quiet; he says if they make a list he'll go to Ted's and
pick up all the kitchen stuff they need. While Emmett
is rummaging in his purse for Advil, Deb mouths "what's
with him?" to Vic, who mouths back, "Ted."
Deb
takes a seat at the table and shifts into advice gear.
She sorts through her mail. There's a postcard for Vic,
from "Michelangelo."
Emmett:
"That must have been lost in the mail a long
time."
Vic: "Actually, we met at
a faerie gathering."
Emmett: "The Tony awards?"
Vic: "It's a group of gay
men who gather in the woods to rediscover our spirit
of joy."
Deb: "And get laid in the
bushes."
Vic: "Michelangelo isn't his
real name. It's his faerie name. We all had 'em. Mine
was--"
Deb: "Cherub."
Emmett: [snort]
Vic: "I went right after I
was diagnosed. I was devastated; I didn't know how I
could go on, so I swallowed my skepticism. Turned out
to be one of the most healing experiences of my life."
Deb: "You know, honey, maybe
that's what you need."
Emmett: "Runnin' around in
the woods with a bunch of faeries? Thanks, but I'll
stick to Advil."
This
is supposed to be poignant. But they keep saying "faeries,"
and there was a "swallow" in there somewhere,
and I'm far too immature for this.
A
sidewalk — Justin is walking with Melanie
and Lindsay; Gus is there too, in the stroller. Well,
it could be Gus, or it could be a doll of some sort. I
don't think Melanie or Lindsay would notice any sooner
than I would. They all walk by a newspaper headline: Stockwell's
been indicted for the murder of that young gay man last
season (well, or for conspiracy to murder, probably. I
think they mentioned it earlier but I was somehow insufficiently
captivated to grasp the full meaning). Lindsay says it
restores her faith in humanity. Melanie, who's looking
fabulous and rather butchy, says it makes her want to
buy shoes. "Birkenstocks?" quips Justin -- but
Mel wants Mahnolos. Way to straddle those gender lines,
Mel. Now straddle me.
Justin
reveals that there is no "Concerned Citizens for
the Truth" -- that Brian paid for the anti-Stockwell
ads himself, and is now deeply in debt. Melanie wishes
there were something they could do; Lindsay says Brian
is too proud to take money and will never be "beholden"
to anyone.
The
custody hearing — Hunter's mom, Rita, has
apparently made great improvements, according to her lawyer.
Hunter makes snide comments; Melanie and Michael tell
him to shut up. In response to the litany of praise for
Rita, Melanie offers some evidence to the contrary, including
the fact that Rita pimped Hunter out for a while. Rita
says that's not true; Hunter says, "The fuck it's
not." The judge scowls at everyone and then goes
to her chambers to examine all the documents. Melanie
looks uncertain, and she also looks hot when she's in
austere severe lawyer mode.
Ted's
place — Emmett is getting the kitchen things
he needs. He can't find the strainer; he hears a voice
say "It's under the sink." Yep, it's Ted, sitting
on the couch in the dark, feeling sorry for himself. Emmett
is surprised that Ted's out of rehab already, of course.
Ted whines about how he's managed to fuck up his life;
Emmett's response is, "Sorry. Don't plan pity parties."
Emmett, you're way too sweet and witty for Ted. Dump his
constipated ass!
Instead
Emmett just lectures Ted a little (you know, that "get
off the couch" lecture we saw over and over in the
previews during the extremely long hiatus) and tells him
to go back to rehab. Ted says it's too late; he's beyond
repair and might as well be dead. Emmett does the reverse
psychology thing; he tells Ted to go ahead and kill himself,
"But don't be a man about it: be a queen." Emmett
puts on some opera music and hands Ted a letter opener:
Emmett:
"The good news is, you can finally be Maria
Callas. Hmm? Plunge it into your heart, like Tosca."
Ted: "Tosca didn't stab herself.
She jumped off a roof."
Emmett: "Even better. Feel
free to scream or sing as loud as you want. Because
nobody's listening."
Emmett
makes his exit like the fabulous operatic queen he is.
Are we meant to feel sorry for Ted? Hmm. I think I'll
have to go with Emmett on this one. Ted has always been
the sad sack of the group, and sometimes it's been sort
of interesting, but we all know that he loves to play
the martyr, which is why he couldn't let himself be happy
for five minutes. Yeah, yeah, his porn empire fell and
left him with nothing -- nothing, that is, except for
supportive friends and a fantastic boyfriend and time
to figure out where to go next. Ted, maybe you're constipated
because you've got your head up your ass.
The
custody hearing — The judge has decided
that Rita has worked hard to break free from her sordid
past, and that it's better for kids to be with their "natural"
parents. Ben has that worried face that makes him look
like a frog. The judge grants custody to Rita. Hunter
says there's no way in hell he's going with her, so the
judge threatens to hold him in contempt. She should threaten
to cut his hair. Mel tells everyone that they did the
best they could.
Rita
greets her son; he plants a rather inappropriate smooch
on her and then says he forgot to tell her that he's HIV
positive. She doesn't believe him at first, but when Ben
confirms it, she wipes her mouth and calls Hunter a "fucking
dirty little faggot." She shoves Hunter and says,
"What the fuck, are you trying to give it to me?"
The judge calls Mel and the other lawyer to the bench.
It's not looking good for you, Rita.
Liberty
Avenue — Justin tells Brian that his mom
may have found a buyer for the loft. He steers Brian into
a bar (probably Woody's, but who can tell these places
apart?) so they can "grab a drink." Brian notices
there's yet another benefit going on: "Wonder what
the cause is this time? Send a tranny to summer camp?"
Justin makes him go in anyway.
Inside,
we're actually in La-La Land: the drag queen is doing
"What I Did For Love" again and the crowd loves
her.
Lindsay
greets Brian, telling him they're having a fundraiser
for a very special organization. In a plot twist no one
could possibly have seen coming -- except, of course,
for those of us who aren't brainless, eyeless, comatose
potatoes -- she reveals that the organization is the Concerned
Citizens for the Truth. Justin makes this great "I
have no idea what's going on" face and then smirks.
Lindsay gives Brian a check.
Brian
starts to turn it down, of course, and everyone pretty
much expects him to. But it must be a hefty check, because
he reconsiders. He makes some lame comment about those
times when people need help and have to "swallow
their fuckin' pride," and that makes at least twice
that the word "swallow" has been used in a non-sexual
context in this episode. I don't approve.
Hunter
and Michael and Ben make their way out of the bar -- Hunter
jokes about hitting some after-hours clubs, but Ben reminds
him he has school tomorrow. Oh, look: Hunter has two daddies!
Yeah, that's kind of heartwarming. And I guess now we
have three HIV-positive characters on the show, which
is good, even if the subject usually only comes up as
a sort of deus ex machina thing that reminds
everyone what's really important in life. Melanie and
Lindsay are close behind, reminding Hunter that the judge
says he'll have to "be on his best behavior"
if he wants to stay with Michael and Ben. Mel and Linds
are so joined at the hip, and are clearly (and collectively)
serving as the moral compass for the show. They're like
some sort of binary ominsicient alien being that went
off course, landed on a planet of penises and can't get
over the culture shock. I liked it better when they were
having affairs and threesomes and marrying random French
guys.
As
Emmett, Deb, and Vic -- and Vic's boyfriend, what's-his-name
from last season -- shuffle down the sidewalk, Deb says,
"I knew I'd live long enough to see gay marriages,
but I never thought I'd live to see Brian Kinney accept
help. And say thank you!" Then she notices Emmett's
not really paying attention. She tells him that she's
worried: "That famous flame of yours is just about
out." Vic suggests a generous sprinkling of faerie
dust. Emmett just rolls his eyes. Am I the only one who
wants to see Emmett put on a Peter Pan costume and go
frolicking in the forest?
Justin
compliments the drag queen, whose name is Shanda Leer.
Out of drag, his name is Darren, and he looks so much
smaller without all of that fabulousness.
Justin tells Brian that he and "half of gay Pittsburgh"
can sleep soundly, now that Brian gets to keep the loft.
Brian says "Half of gay Pittsburgh can sleep soundly
in their own bed." What did these two do, get hitched
in San Francisco during the hiatus?
Darren,
a.k.a. Shanda Leer, heads toward a dark part of the street.
It takes about two seconds for the average non-comatose
viewer to realize what's going to happen. The camera shifts
back and forth among shots of Darren getting kicked and
punched, shots of our happy heroes on their way home,
and shots of Shanda Leer singing "It's gonna be a
great big, swinging, crazy, wonderful day." Over
the credits, we hear the quiet nighttime sounds that Darren
must be hearing as he waits, broken, in the street.
NEXT WEEK ON QUEER AS FOLK: The
community reacts to the bashing; Ted goes back to rehab
and then leaves again; Michael and Emmett frolic in the
forest.
More
QAF recaps available here. |
