Well, now here’s Showdog Moms and Dads, a reality show on BRAVO with a young gay male couple from Seattle, Brandon and Ryan, that makes Carson Kressley seem like the quintessential queer poster boy.

After three episodes, these guys, as filtered through the ratings-hungry lens at BRAVO, register as two of the most inane, self-absorbed twits—gay or straight—on TV today. If you blink you’ll miss any redeeming qualities.

And yet, like a really nasty train wreck, you just can’t look away.

Granted, the premise of the show, which follows five lunatic families obsessed with their pooches, is all about exposing the seamier, sillier side of human nature (the dogs generally come off as the superior beings).

It’s a clever riff on the hilarious Christopher Guest mockumentary, Best in Show, using real people who, as impossible as it may seem, are even more outrageous than the fictitious characters. That includes Parker Posey’s obsessed show mom character, who steals the movie ranting about her Busy Bee dog toy.

The bitchy duo, who sport an endless array of cargo shorts and polo shirts (collar worn up), have been dating for two years and are neophytes in the dog show world. Though they love their little long-haired chihuahua daisy, she’s spayed and ineligible for competition, so they buy a feisty toy fox terrier and rename him Liberace.

The boys blow hundreds of dollars on doggie teeth-whitening and eye-popping outfits, favoring capes and pink feather boas because “bandanas are so over.” As they see it, “What’s the point of having a new dog if you can’t play dress up with it?” Ryan should know, since he owns a doggie fashion company, aptly named “High Maintenance Bitch.”

The chance to show a champion is “a dream come true.” The fact that it takes dedication, not fancy duds, seems to elude these whiny, cell-phone addicted ditzes.

Page 1 / 2 - Next