THIS WEEK'S QAF FAQ:

Cue the Pulse — Yay, they kept the lovey dovey theme. I still dig it. And I still think Ben's dancing leaves a lot to be desired, especially compared to Emmett's sexy moves.

Rage — Oh, it's a little animated sequence; we're seeing some Rage storyboards. It all starts with "in a world," of course. Rage and Zephyr are in the land of the clones. Aren't we all.

Babylon — And here are the real Rage and Zephyr: Michael and Brian, dancing at Babylon. Michael gets all philosophical and says that it's amazing how the outside world changes — a child is born, a man dies, a couple gets married. Brian calls it the "ever-changing kaleidoscope of life." But Michael's point is that nothing changes at Babylon: it's the same hot guys, same thumpa-thumpa, same shaved chests. The scene "freezes" to illustrate the sameness of it all; everything stops except for Michael and Brian. Brian finds it comforting that Babylon never changes.

Michael: "But it's all a lie. An illusion. Just cheap theatrics."
Brian: "Nevertheless, let's keep dancing."

And then the scene comes back to life. Well, that was weird. Oh, pardon me: I meant to call it "poignant" and "revealing." Yeah.

Michael can't keep dancing; he promised Ben he'd be home by midnight. Brian calls that "pathetic." They talk about Brian's plans to surprise Justin in L.A. — aww. Hmm, Brian's hair is different — a new style each season, I guess. It doesn't matter what he does with his hair; he's still gorgeous. Brian pretends he hasn't really been missing Justin all that much.

Michael: "Look, you don't fool me, Mr. I-am-a-rock-I-am-an-island. I know how hard this has been for you."
Brian: "You have no idea, Mikey, how hard."

So Michael leaves, and Brian checks out the back room. Brian sees a guy he knows and says "Hey, Todd, how's it going?" and Todd says "Fine." That might not seem like anything worth mentioning, but the funny part is that while they're exchanging these pleasantries, Brian's getting a blow job and Todd is getting pounded. In a good way.

Brian's cell phone rings; he answers it despite his circumstances and the protests of the other patrons. The caller is Justin, who's also surround by naked guys, but by a pool. And Justin's not actually partaking at the moment. He tells Brian that he might have to stay in L.A. longer than expected because pre-production is taking a while.

Justin: "You're not pissed, are you?"
Brian: "Why the fuck would I be pissed? I told you before you went out there the only reason I'd be pissed is if you didn't go."

Justin wants to know when Brian is going to visit. Silly Justin: that's just the sort of thing that will make Brian not want to visit at all. Why do I know that and you don't? To prove my point, Brian doesn't reciprocate when Justin says "I miss you.

Brian: "Do the best work you can and have the best time you can. That's all that matters."

They hang up. Brian focuses on his blow job and Justin focuses on the naked guy who's smiling at him.

From butts to button eyes — Ben and Michael are cooing over Jenny Rebecca. Lindsay and Melanie and that kid — what's his name? Oh, right, Gus — are there too. Too bad it's not the big happy family they all wanted it to be.

On their way out, Michael asks whether Linds and Mel need anything, but they say they've got it all under control. Ben gets all dorky (how unlike him) and says that's because they're like a fine-tuned machine after all these years.

Ben: "I can't wait to be an old married couple."
Lindsay: "Well, don't rush it; it's nice to be newlyweds too."
Ben: "Hmm, how many years has it been?"
Melanie: "200."
Lindsay: "Ten. This week, actually."
Michael: "Ten's a biggie. You planning anything special?"
Melanie: "We're taking a pass this year."
Lindsay: "Too tired, too busy."
Michael: "Just remember, if there's anything you need..."
Melanie: "When your tits start lactating, call me."

Mel, I snorted twice during that scene. You had me at "200" and "tits."

After Ben and Michael leave, Mel and Linds congratulate each other for being so convincing. Linds says they'll have to tell everyone about the breakup eventually. Mel just says "of course," but after Lindsay goes, Mel looks like she'd rather not have to tell anyone that, including herself.

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