AfterElton.com - "Queer as Folk" Episode 5.09

Queer As Folk recap: Season Five, Episode Nine
(original air date 10 July 2005)

THIS WEEK'S QAF FAQ:

Who does Michael think he is?
I have no idea.
What's going on with Melanie and Lindsay?
I have no idea.
What did Deb's T-shirt say?
"If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand."

The homo homeowners — Ben and Michael are fucking in the kitchen. I almost typed "Brian and Michael," and wouldn't that have been weird? Not to mention hotter.

Naturally, the doorbell rings. Michael shouts "I'm coming!" and eventually he does, and then he answers the door. On the doorstep are two well-meaning family-values types who want to talk to Michael about Proposition 14. They chat about families and spouses, so Michael brings his honey to the door. Ben is shirtless and snarky, and I actually like him for once.

The diner — Ted is nodding at all the guys who walk by. Brian asks him exactly how much of the burgh he's boned since his extreme makeover. Ted confesses that it's great to have any guy he wants, and then Michael walks in. Oh, geez, Ted, you still have the hots for Michael? Move the fuck on.

Brian makes his excuses, because he and Michael still aren't talking. Michael goes to the counter to order, and Deb asks him whether he and Brian are ever going to talk again.

Deb: "You gonna let a lifetime — a fuckin' history — go down the drain because of some childish disagreement?"

But Michael feels mocked and disrespected, so Deb just sighs. Michael orders a tuna fish on whole wheat, with a lemon bar — "hold the remarks." Shut up, Michael. I'll show you some real disrespect.

It's cold outside — Everybody's bundled up and going door-to-door to educate people about Proposition 14. Mel and Ted — those once fast friends — team up. Ted says that even though he has a lovely new face, something's missing. Melanie suspects that "love and commitment" are the missing pieces. She should know.

Deb and Ben get a door slammed in their face and bond a little over the loss of Hunter.

Justin and his mom team up, and talk to an old guy who's very receptive. But his daughter shows up and says her dad has Alzheimer's and hasn't voted in 10 years. What the hell was that random scene for?

Kinnetik — Ted asks Brian to go with him to a Jewish mixer — "I wanna meet a Mensch." Brian wonders if he's the only fag who doesn't want to put a trousseau together and walk down the aisle. I don't know, but I think I'm the only lesbian.

Brian says there are many mysteries in life, but he knows for sure he'll never be Mrs. Seymour Goldfarb.

Getting her groove back — A cute young guy rides up on a motorcycle to pick up Justin's mom. You go, Jennifer! Justin just stares after them in disbelief.

The dining room table — Mel and Linds are working together — I mean literally working, shuffling papers and staring at laptops. Their papers keep getting mixed up, and they keep smiling at each other and chatting. Linds asks Mel whether she's coming to the opening at the gallery, where Justin will be showing some pieces:

Mel: "Actually, I'm supposed to go out with, uh..."
Linds: "Corinne."
Mel: [nods]
Linds: "Mel, you don't have to hide it. That's our arrangement: you have your life, I have mine."
Mel: "I know, but I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. It's your show."
Linds: "That's right, it's my show. And I'm inviting you. And Corinne."

Mel's not sure, but Lindsay insists, and I am sure I'd insist on a first aid kit and a contingent of security guards if I owned the art gallery.

Lindsay's heart, by the way, is not "fine with it" at all, no matter what her mouth might say.

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