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The Doctor's Office --Despite their best tantric efforts, Tommy and his wife still haven't gotten pregnant. So on his last visit, Tommy asked his doc to check out his sperm count, and now he's back for the results. Doc delivers the bad news: Tommy is shooting blanks.

Darn that pesky Chlamydia! You should have had it looked into sooner, Tommy! My first thought is sperm donor and I just know it's going to be Kevin. It won't be Justin. The guy's got addiction issues. Would you really want those genes?

Back at the Walker mansion, Kitty is reviewing video from Red White & Blue. (Conservative Kitty is the “Red,” her liberal co-host and developing love interest, Warren Salter, is the “Blue.”) Just like a football coach, Kitty is looking for Warren's weaknesses so she can verbally tomahawk him on national television. That way he'll know for sure she's got the hots for him. Nora interrupts to remind her to go shopping for a dress for the charity dinner.

Kitty : I'm not going. Nobody is going.
Nora: All your brothers and sisters have confirmed.

Looks like after Sarah caved the rest of the siblings followed suit. Who would have thought that! Since she's the lone holdout, Kitty gives in as well.

We head back to Sarah's office at Walker Produce. Uncle Saul is there, as is Tommy, just back from the doctor's office and looking morose because now he thinks he's not really a man anymore. Sarah reminds Uncle Saul he has to attend the charity event. Saul announces he'll be bringing Holly as his date.

Sarah: Saul, you're dating my father's mistress! I can't imagine she's worth it.
Saul: I happen to believe that she is very much worth it.

Yeah, to the tune of 12 million dollars. Uncle Saul doesn't elaborate, but I suspect he thinks Holly might know the password to the secret bank account.

The scene cuts to the set of Red, White & Blue. Kitty is spying on her liberal co-host Warren as he flirts with the new intern, Amber. Clearly, Kitty has a thing for Warren and it really galls her he's banging the young blonde nubile intern. But now that she's stuck going to the charity dinner, Kitty really needs a date. So when Amber prances off to fetch coffee, Kitty swallows her pride and approaches Warren to ask him if he'll go to the dinner with her. Clearly, there are no other men in a hundred mile radius she could possibly ask, right?

Warren: I can't. I've started seeing someone. It would be inappropriate.

Inappropriate? Oh please! Warren, you're telling this to a woman who, just two weeks ago, cheated on her fiancé by having a one night stand with you! What a copout. Still, I can't really blame the guy. His new girlfriend, Amber, is way younger and hotter than Kitty. Plus, she's liberal. Rebuffed, Kitty slinks off. Looks like she'll be flying solo at the charity dinner. Hey, I know! She could call up Karl Rove! He'd love to attend.

An outdoor cafe —As Kevin and Scotty have their afternoon coffee, Kevin asks Scotty to be his date to his Mom's fundraising event. Scotty declines as he moonlights as a cater waiter and has to work that night. Wait—do you think he's going to have to work that very same event? What are the odds?

Kevin asks Scotty if he couldn't just get somebody to cover for him. But Scotty really needs the money. So Kevin asks if he couldn't just buy his company for the evening. Uh-oh, Kevin. Methinks that isn't going to go over well.

Kevin: How much do you make on a night like that? Two, three hundred? Because I could reimburse you for lost wages.
Scotty : I'm starting to feel a little insulted.

Oh Scotty, you shouldn't. If I were you, I'd be going “300 dollars? Hot diggity!” I'm practically screaming at the television. “Take the money!” Instead, Scotty gets all righteous and indignant.

Scotty: I'm a cater waiter okay? You are going out with a cater waiter. And unlike you, I actually take it seriously.

Um, okay, Scotty. Are you training for the cater waiter Olympics? Or are you just going to go pro? I don't mean to pick on cater waiters. I've done it myself. But how does one take being a cater waiter seriously? Trust me, not even cater waiters themselves take it seriously. We mostly just flirt with the hot guys and sneak hors d'oeuvres when the boss isn't looking.

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