Welcome back folks! Dennis here and ready to give you the lowdown on Episode 7 of Brothers & Sisters. The official episode title is “Northern Exposure,” but as you'll soon see, a more appropriate title would read: “Brother, Can You Spare Some Sperm.”

The show opens on a live broadcast of political news show, “Red, White & Blue” Conservative commentator Kitty Walker (Calista Flockhart) is perched on the right side of the set in her overstuffed red chair. She's wagging a finger at her liberal co-host, Warren Colter who sits opposite left in his own overstuffed blue chair. Is it unpatriotic of me to point out how garish the show's literal red, white and blue set is?

But I digress. Kitty and Warren are actually engaged in a timely environmental debate:Should the toxic pesticide, DDT be used in Africa to fight malaria? Unfortunately, we only get to see the last 10 seconds of the discussion. Of course, if they showed anymore than that people would change channels faster than disgraced Revered Ted Haggard changed his story.

Conservative Kitty is just winding up her anti-environment / pro-DDT position, and you get the impression that, for once, she actually laid out a compelling case. Too bad she ends things on a low note.

Kitty: Excuse me while I go and projectile vomit on Al Gore.

Oh, Kitty. You were doing so well there. The cheap Gore shot was, frankly, beneath you. Leave that sort of thing to Ann Coulter.

The show goes off air and later backstage, Amber, the perky blond intern, hands Kitty a folder containing background research she has prepared for Kitty's interview with the French ambassador.

Amber is babbling on about her discovery that French fries weren't invented in France. In fact, they're Belgian! (Or Belchin', if you unwisely “super size” them as I did last night at McDonalds.) But when Kitty lectures Amber about this being a political interview and not a cooking show segment, Amber quickly fires off some economic hooha about the latest European Union GDP figures and their possible impact on the Franco-Moslem community.

I have no idea what she's referring to, but it sounds really brainy. Just like last week, we see that Amber is quite a study in contradictions. At first glance, a blonde airhead, but actually an intellectual whiz kid.

But then Warren shows up and Amber turns all blonde airhead again. She makes plans with him to attend some exclusive Hollywood nightclub for a special VIP “Glitter Night.” Her glitter date with Warren all lined up, Amber skips off gleefully.

Warren is rather mortified that Kitty overheard his conversation with Amber. Almost out of the blue, he asks Kitty to go away with him for the weekend. Talk about left field! Didn't Warren say just last week that it would be “inappropriate” to see Kitty now that he's dating Amber?

He's sending mixed messages, but Kitty is the queen of inconsistency herself and doesn't seem to care. She says she'll think about going away with him for the weekend, but he has to break things off with Amber. I'm hoping it's after the glitter party, because I'd love to see Warren all sparkly!

We cut to the company headquarters of Walker Produce. Sarah Walker, Tommy Walker, and Uncle Saul are meeting with a prospective buyer who has offered them $9.3 million for the company's orchards in Ojai. The Walker family owns a ranch adjacent to the orchard and the ranch would have to be included in the sale. This is touchy because the Ojai ranch has always been the family's summer home.

Sarah, Tommy and the rest of the Walker siblings spent their childhoods there. Tommy argues they should hold off on selling the ranch now that they know where the 12 million their father stole from the employee pension fund went. (Last week we found out that the money was diverted into a secret offshore bank account.) Saul and Sarah remind him that even though they know where the money is, they can't get at it without the password.

Cut to Momma Nora's kitchen later that evening. The assembled family is reminiscing about the Ojai ranch.

Justin: I learned to ride a bike up there. Among other things.

He fails to elaborate further, but I hope he's talking about a tractor and not, say, the underage daughter of a migrant farm worker. The rest of the family gripe about losing the Ojai ranch, but Nora surprises everyone by endorsing the sale. However, she wants the whole family to go up to Ojai that weekend for a sort of farewell visit. They can pack up stuff. They can play charades and touch football! Sounds fun to me, but one by one her kids roll their eyes and beg off. First the charity auction, now this. These kids aren't exactly going out of their way to cheer up recently widowed Nora, are they?

Later at Sarah & Joe's house. Sarah is telling her scruffy husband, Joe (does he ever shave?) about summers she spent as a child at the ranch house. She makes a point of telling him how she lost her virginity up there to a neighbor-kid named Tucker Booth.

Sarah: Tall, blue eyes, blond hair. A very hot day in the tree house!
Joe: Okay. Don't need to hear more of that.

Oh, speak for yourself, Joe. This scene was starting to get interesting.

Joe, possibly turned on by Sarah's libidinous teenage exploits, suggests they get away for a romantic Ojai weekend. After all, no one else in the family is going up there – they'll have the place to themselves. Yeah, right. The only folks who don't know what comes next must be immigrants from Outer Mongolia who never saw an episode of the Waltons or Eight is Enough or any other family drama to ever air.

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