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Cut to the attic where Sarah and husband Joe are poking around looking for something that might give them a clue to Bill Walker's bank account password. As if on cue, Sarah picks up an old B&W photo of a baby posed over the engine hood of their father's car. Sarah can't figure which one of her siblings the baby is. She thinks it might be Justin. But us perceptive viewers know the truth, this fat-faced rugrat is a plot contrivance. Er, I mean Holly's child—the mysterious Rebecca!

We cut to Kevin and Tommy out by the broken down tractor. Clearly, fixing the tractor was mere pretext for Tommy to get Kevin alone so he could ask for sperm. Okay, that came out weird.

Tommy: Kevin, this is really hard for me to say. But we want to use your sperm to get Julia pregnant.

We don't get to see Kevin's response because just at that moment there's a commotion behind them. The bottom of the tree house has given way and Justin and Tyler, both naked, plummet to the ground below. Good little Catholic girl, indeed.

After a commercial break we return to the Ojai ranch side porch where Kitty, Sarah, Kevin and Scotty are having a gossip break. Kevin tells them about Tommy's request for sperm. They all assume Kevin agreed to the request but Kevin surprises all (including me) by turning Tommy down.

Sarah is astounded and rips into Kevin for being selfish. (Let's ask her for one of her eggs and see what she says then.) Kevin doesn't get much support from Kitty and Scotty either.

Scotty: Don't you find it odd that you, a gay man, are suddenly embracing the idea of being normal?
Kevin: For once, I would like to have an opinion without you connecting it to my sexuality.

Scotty bites his tongue.

Cut to the front porch where Kitty is taking a cell phone call from wigged out Amber. Amber is having a panic attack because in moments she'll conduct her on air interview with the French ambassador. Kitty gives her a pep talk to calm her down from a panic attack. Amber thanks Kitty for being such a great mentor. She also asks Kitty not to mention the meltdown to Warren.

Amber: I know its silly but I think have a really good thing going and I kind of want to impress him.

Turns out that that dog Warren never told Amber he was going off with Kitty for the weekend, as he'd promised. Kitty hangs up with clueless Kitty just as two-timing Warren moseys up. Kitty really lets him have it.

Kitty: I'm not going to be sneaking around the back of a 23 year old girl. I hate it that you put me in that position.

Warren offers up some lame excuse, but Kitty isn't buying what he's selling.

Cut to the dinner table later that evening. Joe has brought down the picture of the baby they found in the attic, and Nora rules out it being any one of her children.

Kitty: Maybe its that neighbor kid, what was his name? Tucker Booth.

Everyone sort of titters at that. What, did Tucker Booth mess around with everyone in the Walker family? Maybe Uncle Saul should try “Tucker” for the secret bank account password.

Someone hands Julia the picture and she starts crying. I guess photos of babies remind her that Tommy's shooting blanks.

At this point the entire scene descends into inane chaos when Sarah calls out Kevin for not agreeing to donate his sperm to Tommy and Julia.

Sarah: Kevin's decided its his role to save the traditional American family, which is pretty strange considering he's here with his boyfriend!

Julia is freaked to find out that Tommy has asked for Kevin's sperm without asking her first.

Tommy: I'm sorry, honey, okay? I wanted it to be a surprise.

Oh yuck. You don't “surprise” someone with sperm donation. That's what Multiple Migs did to Clarice Starling in Silence of the Lambs, and we all know how that ended. Tommy should have at least talked it over with Julia first.

All this sperm talk makes for uncomfortable dinner table conversation, particularly when the main course is linguini and white clam sauce. So it's no surprise when all the “dates” and the in-laws excuse themselves from the table, leaving just the Walker siblings and Momma Nora. Kevin tries to better explain his nonsensical position.

Kevin: We're a family that can't keep secrets. How long would it be before everyone knows the kid's biological father is actually his gay uncle?

Kevin looks to conservative sister Kitty for backup, but she offers him no support.

Kitty: Yeah, I believe in family values but hey, last time I checked we're a family.

So what kind of Republican is Kitty anyway? She doesn't own a gun. She supports equality for her gay brother. Heck, she even thinks he should donate his sperm. I wonder if she's read the paper the past few years and knows what her party is up to.

At this point, Justin gallantly offers his sperm to Tommy and Julia. Tommy basically tells him, “You're too screwed up. We don't want your sperm.” Well, at least he's not shooting blanks. Poor Justin looks like he just got hit with another two by four. No one at the table seems to pick up on how painful this must be for him.

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