AfterElton.com - Noah's Arc; Week 1

Cast of Noah's Arc The second season started with a bang—of sorts. In the opening scene, ever promiscuous Ricky tries to explain to Noah, Alex and Chance, who are on the phone with him evaluating whether or not Noah has found his Mr. Right, that it's a bad time for him to have a conversation due to him being busy. And busy he was. Let's count. There are one, two, three guys in bed with him when he delivers the classic line, “You guys interrupted my fourgy for this?”

Let's take a vote. Who wants to hear Noah whine about his relationship drama? Ok. Who wants to see the fourgy? Oh, just me. Imagine that.

So, flash forward six months from where the first season left off and all four characters are still intertwined in beautiful chaos. Hmm, let's start with Noah, who is sitting on the toilet (the best place to think, of course) wondering if his relationship is real or not.

The response he gets from Chance is, “Kiss him. If the earth moves, then you'll know it's real.” To this Alex says, “The kiss never lies.” Lastly, Ricky throws in the National Gay Karaoke Anthem “It's in His kiss.”

Of course, Noah goes to test this theory out and the audience of viewers gasps in unison as we realize the man in his bed is not the man we expect. It is not Wade, who was Noah's boyfriend in season one. Instead, it is Malik—the front desk person of a sex club that Noah had a supposedly one-night-stand with during his relationship with Wade. What! This is not giving the audience what it wants!

Between you and me, I have several issues with this. First, have you seen Wade? Better yet, has Noah seen Wade? Wade is a sexy, masculine guy with cornrows. Malik, on the other hand, is average— average looks, average body…just average. The only thing that stands out about this guy is his dreadlocks.

Now, dreads do come in handy when you want to string your partner up from the ceiling fan or for you to yank on when need be, but other than that, they just get in the way. Also, how do you turn a one-night stand in a sex club (with someone that works there for gosh sakes) into a relationship? True, maybe most of our parents met at sex clubs, but that doesn't mean that we have too follow there example. Geez.

Anyway, so we are watching Noah and Malik kiss and Noah is waiting for something earth shattering to happen. While they kiss, the room rumbles a bit. Noah jumps back and asks, “Did you feel that?” Of course, Malik didn't. They kiss again and the room starts to shake more violently. Just when we think this is all a part of Noah 's imagination, Malik yells out, “Earthquake!” and they both run for cover.

Noah's apartment is damaged so badly that he has to move in with Malik. How convenient. However, I don't think that was the sign Noah was looking for.

Ricky, who's apartment was also damaged in the earthquake (hopefully after his foursome wrapped up), finds a cute guy to do the repairs. Upon seeing said repairman, Chance throws in, “You hire him and the only thing in your apartment that will be getting done is you.”

Hmm, sounds good to me. I wonder if I have anything that needs fixing? After further thought, Ricky decides to go with someone else who ultimately sleeps with his housekeeper and leaves the job unfinished. No pun intended.