AfterElton.com - Noah's Arc; Week 2

Cast of Noah's Arc You know what I love most about Noah's Arc? The show's potential to be great in addition to the weekly surprises. The opening credits hadn't finished rolling before I was up off my bed and sitting in front of the TV. This week's show had it all: steamy love scenes, Wade, the return of Wilson Cruz who plays Genito, Wade, a guest appearance by a former member of B2K, and did I mention Wade?

Like last week's show, this week also started with a bang involving Alex, his boyfriend Trey and a third party—a can of brown paint. Now, I'm normally all for experimentation, but there are limits. First and foremost, why couldn't it have been chocolate instead of paint? Wouldn't that have been more fun? Let's see, chocolate is edible while paint is not—duh!

Furthermore, haven't we seen construction workers and painters in the real world? They may look good while doing the work, but three weeks later when they still have paint and stuff permanently embedded in places where it shouldn't be, its more like yuck then yum. And if you somehow manage to get paint in your mouth by accident, it's a guaranteed week in the hospital and a $2,376.82 bill that isn't covered by health insurance (um, a friend told me). So, save yourself some trouble and go with chocolate so you won't end up like I di—I mean my friend did.

Another interesting thing about Noah's Arc is that everyone just happens to be gay or gay-friendly. Not that I have a problem with this because I consider myself to be gay-friendly—extremely gay-friendly. However, for a moment, the show makes you want to go skipping down the street holding hands with your partner until you hear someone yell out “Queer!” and you run off screaming and thinking to yourself that this wouldn't have happened if you were on Noah's Arc.

Two minutes into the show, Noah delivers the classic line, “I'm over men,” and the viewers at home pump their fists and in unison and start singing the chorus of Destiny's Child's “Independent Women.” A few moment's later the doorbell rings and Noah repeats, “I am over men—especially Wade.” Ok, I'll give you one guess as to who's at the door when he answers. That's right; it's none other than Wade in a snug delivery-guy uniform. Suddenly, the viewers at home put their fists down and break into Luther Vandross' “If Only for One Night.”

For some reason, whenever Wade is on screen, I imagine he's talking to me instead of Noah. So, when he instructs Noah to “take it off,” referring to his name on the script they wrote together, suddenly my shirt is going up over my head and [scene deleted due to graphic nature and adult content].

Despite the fact that last week's episode showed the reunion of Wade and Noah as pleasant, this week Wade is pissed and obviously bi-polar. Noah apologizes for what went wrong and says that he doesn't know of a way that he could be any sorrier for what he'd done. Wade replies, “I do. You could be me.” Then it's us that are sorry that we have to watch a scene with Chance and his husband squabbling about their daughter before we get back to the good stuff.

Cut to Alex's HIV test center where Ricky finally runs into Genito. They exchange a few words and then things really get interesting when former B2K member Raz-B joins the scene. Raz-B, who is rumored to be gay off-screen, played a gay character (because everyone on Noah's Arc is gay) who had just been diagnosed with HIV. Ricky assures him that it's not the end of the world. Raz-B then wonders whether his boyfriend will still want to be with him now that he has been diagnosed. He asks Ricky if he would date someone with HIV and just like in the fairytales, Genito, who is also HIV+, happens to walk by as Ricky looks him in the eye and says, “If I loved him, absolutely.”

That revelation later sparks a sappy exchange of feelings between both Genito and Ricky. Picture this. The music mellows while statements like “I want it to work” and “I'm lucky” are thrown around before Genito says, “Let's just promise to be as honest with each other as we dare and as kind to each other as we deserve.” This forces me to give myself the Heimlich maneuver so that I puke my guts out before attempting to slit my wrist with a plastic knife from all the mushiness. I just can't take it.

Alex and Trey then share another steamy love scene when Alex gets home and finds the toaster smoking. In true queen fashion, he starts squealing for help as opposed to shutting the thing off. Trey appears at the door in a firefighter's outfit and says, “Stand back sir. I'm coming in.” He defuses the situation and then they kiss passionately. Of course, I try this with my toaster. Instead of getting a half-naked fireman to show up at my door, I got the cooled off by the sprinkler system in my apartment. Well, better luck next time.

Next, Chance and Noah show up at Wade's job to give Noah a chance to express how he really feels. Unfortunately, Wade's new boyfriend, Dre, is also on-site. Dre invite's Noah over so that the three of them can have dinner. Wade walks off to get back to work and Noah asks Dre if he is sure about having him over for dinner because he doesn't want it to be awkward. Dre explains that he and his first love are best friends and he wants Noah and Wade to have the same thing.

If only real life was that simple.

Read the recap of Week 1 here