It's a new season of Top Chef and it looks like it's going to be a humdinger! In the first episode alone, we have a new host, snails, frog legs, and bloodshed! Does TV get any better than this? I don't think so.

Right away, we meet our new host, Padma Lakshmi, actress and cookbook author. I can already tell you that she is far better than the Katie Lee Joel cardboard cutout they used the first season. What? You mean Katie Lee Joel isn't two-dimensional? I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you!

Padma introduces the show to those who missed the first season and explains the prize, which is pretty much one big product placement. The winner will receive a Kenmore Pro kitchen from Sears, an editorial feature in Food & Wine Magazine, an appearance at the Food & Wine Classic in Aspen, $100,000 in seed money provided by Glad, and, of course, the coveted title of Top Chef. I realize that Bravo doesn't have a huge budget like the big networks so they need these endorsements to bring us the quality shows we've come to expect, but, trust me, you'll be sick of hearing about Kenmore before the night is over.

Now we get to meet the wannabe top chefs as they arrive at the studio and loft space, which is in LA this year instead of New York. First, we meet Josie. She's a 31-year-old sous-chef in New York City, and a fairly obvious lesbian, even if we didn't meet her partner in her audition tape. The bad Rosie O'Donnell haircut kind of gives it away. She seems spunky. I like her.

Next up is Betty, 44, a former actress who now owns her own restaurant in LA. I like her, too. She's followed by Ilan, a 24-year-old line cook from NYC. He immediately sets off my gaydar, although nothing in his bio screams gay. He's a cutie, though. He immediately becomes one of my early favorites, based as much on his cute factor as anything.

Then we meet Marcel. Oh, dear. You'll be hearing a lot about him. He's 26 and a master cook in Las Vegas. The most important thing for you to know about Marcel at this point is that he has atrociously bad hair. He looks like some sort of cross between a ComicCon fanboy's poor attempt to look like Wolverine and a bad anime character. I immediately want to crawl through the screen and slap him, and I haven't even come to loathe him yet. Oh, but I will. I will.

Elia is 23 and from Mexico. She's a room service chef in Las Vegas . So far, we have two chefs from Las Vegas, two from NYC, and one from LA. Not a lot of diversity here. Next up is Sam, 28. We learn that Sam was one of the youngest executive chefs in New York. Yes, another New Yorker.

Here, we take a break from the introductions to see Ilan unpacking his knives. In case, you don't know much about chefs, knives are their most important tool. They actually buy their own very expensive knife sets that they pretty much carry with them wherever they go. It makes check-ins at the airport pure hell. And no one will sit next to them on the plane. Marcel is watching Ilan unpack and says, "Nice knives. Wanna see mine?"

We cut to Ilan in a bemused interview. "The first person that I meet is this guy, Marcel. He wants to show me his knives. I just really want to smack him. Next, we'll be showing each other our c***s." There's really not much I can add to that except, Bravo, are you listening? This is how you can take your show to the next level!

Unfortunately, there's no show-and-tell of private parts, and we get back to the contestants as a big, Mafia don enters the room and asks if he's found Cell Block H. Now that he mentions it, their loft does have a certain prison-like quality to it. The metal bunk beds don't help. Maybe this season will have nudity after all, Oz style.

Anyway, the new guy is Frank. He's a 39-year-old executive chef from San Diego. He brought ear plugs, which he tells Ilan, are "for you, not for me." And we have a snorer. But a thoughtful snorer.

We meet Marisa, 28, executive pastry chef from San Francisco, as she announces to her roommates that she brought goggles, a swimsuit, and a bustier if anyone needs them. "I came prepared," she squeals. Which begs the question, for what exactly? Fear Factor crossed with America's Next Top Model? She then interviews that she's willing to use her sexuality to win. Good luck with that. She looks like the love child of Cher and one of those guys from The Hills Have Eyes. She seems nice enough, though, if a little odd.

Suyai, 28, and the owner of her own catering business in NYC, tells us that she got into food because she was bulimic "as a way to heal my eating disorder." What? I mean, it's great that she's working to overcome her eating disorder, but that seems like an odd way of doing it. That's kind of like putting a jewel thief in the jewelry store. Anyway... she seems sweet, but maybe just a little dim.

Next up is Michael. You know from the moment you see him that he drinks lots of beer and is a big football fan. Not that I buy into stereotypes or anything. He just screams all-American slob. This is further confirmed when he makes a big production out of pulling a pair of tiny, lacy panties from his suitcase and waving them about while he wonders aloud how they got in there. I'm guessing you put them in there just so you could wave them around and wonder how they got in there.

I don't like him. Oh, by the way, he's 28 and a line cook from Lodi, CA. "A lot of people here have more experience than me," he interviews, "but I have balls and I'm ready to rock." I don't want to hear about his balls. Especially if it involves those panties.

Everyone gathers together for the first time and we finally meet Carlos, our openly gay, 36-year-old Cuban restaurant owner from Ft. Lauderdale, FL. As we learned in our recent interview with Carlos, he's been with his partner and co-owner for 13 years and he's self-taught. He's here to prove he's as good as anyone with a degree. He was such a nice guy in his interview, I'd be rooting for him even if he wasn't absolutely adorable.

Mia is the last person we meet before heading to the first challenge. She's 32, from Oakdale, CA, and owns a catering business that seems to specialize in soul food. I like her right away. She seems very real.

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