We open on Kitty asleep in bed. This show almost always starts with someone in bed, doesn't it? Anyway, she wakes to find the Senator beside her reading the newspaper and frowning. Darn, looks like the Jumble has him stumped again. But wait, turns out he's reading a troubling op-ed piece.

McAllister: You know what this editorial is about? It says one of the reasons Governor Whitmore's candidacy is a stretch is because his 13 year old daughter is “too fat” to be first daughter.

Kitty: That's awful.

Perhaps someone should turn the Governor's daughter on to the Master Cleanse. Hey, it worked for Beyoncé! But seriously, I'm wondering why Senator McAllister seems so upset by this. He's running for President too, so Governor Whitmore would have been an opponent in the race. Perhaps the Senator is feeling protective of his own kids--wondering if they're skinny enough to survive his candidacy.

McAllister: My children are going through a divorce. They don't need to be judged. And what about you and me? You know, there's no way for us to have a normal relationship.

Kitty concedes that some personal sacrifices will have to be made if he's going to run for President, but there's no reason they can't be a normal couple.

McAllister: And how do we do that?

Kitty: Well, we can stay in bed for starters.

McAllister snuggles up to her under the covers and, by clear implication, feels her up.

McAllister: Oh yeah? What about this?

Kitty: Yeah, that's totally normal.

It's called Clitoromegaly. Look it up.

Cut to Holly's house. She is in her kitchen with Saul. They are trying to operate an espresso machine, which is making some scary sounds. Either that or Saul forgot his Beano this morning.

Really, the malfunctioning appliance is just an excuse for Holly to flirt and get Uncle Saul to put his clammy hand on her shoulder. Just an aside but, while I like both of these actors separately-- they have absolutely zero chemistry together. Me, I think they should set up an illicit affair between Holly and Tommy. That would be scandalous-- but plausible.

In walks Rebecca, Holly's illegitimate daughter via William Walker.

Saul: It's so nice to meet you, Rebecca; your mother never said that you were so lovely.

She was only cast a few weeks ago so Holly (Patricia Wettig) probably didn't want to count her chickens. But for what it is worth, Emily VanCamp is a real hottie. My only complaint: she bites her lip too much – it's a distracting affectation. She should try chewing the scenery instead.

Rebecca: I guess Mom doesn't talk about me much because I doubt she'd use the word lovely.

I'm not sure that line of dialog parses correctly. But I quibble. Saul senses tension between Holly and Rebecca, so he kisses Holly, gives Rebecca a long (and dare I say vaguely lecherous) appraisal, and then exits.

Rebecca: Sorry about interrupting your mid-morning booty call. Maybe you should put a sock on the door or something.

Eww. I'm picturing one of Saul's black nylon dress socks hanging off Holly's doorknob. Not pretty.

Holly: He was just helping me with the coffee machine.

Rebecca: That's what the senior set is calling it these days?

Not quite. I canvassed my local retirement home and brushed up on all the senior set street slang for sexual relations. “Helping me with the coffee machine” doesn't make the list. What does?

•  Gettin' biddy with it

•  Knockin' walkers

•  Gray lady down

•  The beast with four false hips

Holly: Yes, we are seeing each other if that's what you mean.

Rebecca: At least that clarifies some things. The sudden windfall, the Maserati, the crazy expensive housewares.

Holly protests that Saul is not the source of their newfound wealth. She reminds Rebecca that “an old friend” died and left her some money.

Holly: This is a good thing, Becca! The point is we have options. Why can't you be happy?

Rebecca: I would be happier if I had coffee.

And something to chew on other than her lip.

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