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We cut back to the Walker Mansion. Kitty has led Senator McAllister into her bedroom closet so they can share a glass of wine from the hidden stash.

McAllister: I am having a fifth-grade flashback of Deena Sigerson and “seven minutes in heaven.”

Hmm. McAllister has thus far on the show seemed so asexual that it makes me wonder what he was actually doing for those seven heavenly minutes with Deena. Huffing spray paint maybe? But I digress.

Kitty pours him some wine and congratulates him on charming the pants off Nora. Fortunately, she chooses not to mention Ida was, um, charmed, too.

Kitty: So now that you've managed to make my mother fall in love with you why don't you just tell Kevin that you have a gay brother?

McAllister: (considers) Because I don't trade in that kind of currency. I'm not going to use my brother to gain your brother's approval.

Is this guy a saint, or what? After his little speech last week to the Republican women about learning to cook from his mother and being caring, I'm starting to feel like I need a dose of insulin. Or reality. But I digress.

The two have a moment.

Brief aside here but this scene runs directly counter to my prediction last week that Senator McAllister's character would eventually be revealed as a closet case and is only using Kitty as a beard. I based that prediction on the fact that there had been absolutely no “sparks” flying between McAllister and Kitty. Well, this little scene sort of throws a monkey wrench in my prediction because tonight, in this closet (oh the irony) there actually does seem to be some romantic chemistry between the two. In fact, they almost kiss. But not quite.

Kitty: I can't. It's not that I don't want to. And I don't mean that I do want to. But even if I did. I couldn't.

McAllister: With that kind of logic are you sure you're not a Democrat?

Kitty: I'm on a fast. My mom and I made a pact. A manfast.

McAllister: Meaning?

Kitty: No men.

I was on a manfast once. Well not a complete manfast – more of a male replacement program. I had a twinkie for breakfast, a twinkie for lunch, and a sensible man for dinner. But I digress.

McAllister comments on the many pairs of shoes stacked up in Kitty's closet. The shoes are symbolic stand-ins for Kitty's past relationships with men. She tells the Senator that its time for her “to go barefoot for a while.” For the time being, no more “shoes.”

McAllister accepts the logic of Kitty's manfast and even buys into the absurd “shoes as dating” metaphor. He asks her if, somewhere down the road, she might be interested in dating/shoe shopping with him.

McAllister: Hypothetically speaking?

Kitty: You'd be the first pair I'd try on.

Cut to the kitchen. Sarah is talking with Kevin. She can't believe that the night has turned into such a debacle. (And she doesn't even know about the sex tape yet!) Kevin gives her grief for ordering the medieval package from the party decorating company. She thought she ordered the “mid-level” package. Was she guzzling wine when filling out the form? Gosh, I hope as company president she goes over Walker Foods contracts a bit more closely!

Enter Nora, Ida, and Uncle Saul. Kitty and Senator McAllister saunter in as well.

With the whole clan now gathered, Sarah asks why there's no alcohol.

Kitty: We had to promise no wine when we took Justin out of rehab.

Ida: What!?

Grandma seems to be the last to know about everything.

Nora: Mother, Justin is in a rehab program.

Kevin: Mom! A little more discretion. You are in the presence of a U.S. Senator.

McAllister: Nothing to be embarrassed of.

Kevin: Oh, but homosexuality is?

Kitty: Oh Kevin please! Enough! (To McAllister) Can you just please tell him that you have a gay brother too?

Ida: Who's gay?

McAllister: I think you just outed two brothers for the price of one.

Kevin: That would be me grandma. I'm gay.

Ida: No! Justin maybe, but you…

Kevin: I am gay. I swear I am.

Enter Uncle Saul.

Saul: Everything all right in here?

Ida: Well, hardly. Justin is a drug addict. Kevin's gay. And this one (pointing to Sarah) is shooting pornographic movies!

Sarah: (shocked) Pornographic what?

Nora: The sex tape that you and Joe shot. It uh ended up on my video.

Sarah: Joe!

While Sarah has a nervous breakdown, Ida throws up her hands and asks what else she doesn't yet know about the family. Nora at this point is drunk enough to have it out with Ida. She tells her disapproving mother all about her dead husband's adultery and embezzlement. Is this the best party ever?

Nora: So it turns out you were right about him all along. Are you happy now?

Ida: Of course I'm not happy. I'm not surprised. But I'm not happy!

Saul cuts in and admonishes Ida for being mean to Nora. He says he's sorry he ever invited her to the birthday party. Ida looks hurt, indignant, and rushes out of the room.

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