And Cillian Murphy, who already played a creepily fey part in Batman Begins, now stars in Neil Jordan's Breakfast On Pluto. Unlike Batman's borderline-homophobic role, this time Cillian plays a cross-dressing Irishman in search of his parents. That one has Oscar written all over it too, no?

BUGS BUNNY, MADONNA, AND....OPERA
No, that isn't the punchline to a joke. These days, Madonna is a punchline all by herself. Planetout.com interviews Rufus Wainwright who appeared this week at The New York City Opera for a one-time performance. Rufus dissects how opera influenced his career, as well his growing up when he fantasized about "saving the girl from the burning building while dressed as a marine, but then I'd just drop her off at her place. The rescue was pretty much it." And what gay man can't relate to that? Oh, and the Bugs Bunny reference refers to the great "Kill the wabbit! Kill the Wabbit!" episode. You have to read the article to see where Madonna comes in.

I KNOW WHAT I AM, BUT WHAT ARE YOU?
Australian radio personality John Laws was cleared of breaking Australian broadcast laws by calling Queer Eye for the Straight Guy's Carson Kressley a "pillow-biter" as well as a "pompous little pansy prig." Something tells me Mr. Laws would not have been cleared if he had called, oh, say, Oprah, something equally bigoted. Mr. Laws' pillow comment, of course, raises this pressing question: What do straight people think gay sex involves exactly? When was the last time you bit your pillow during sex? Perhaps Mr. Laws is confusing his own wife's actions with that of gay men; after viewing Mr. Laws' photo I, too, would bite my pillow in order to stifle my screaming if I had to have sex with him. Actually, if I were Mr. Laws, I would worry more about his bedmate smothering him with a pillow while he slept. Troglodytes do sleep, don't they?

This isn't Mr. Laws' first time being in trouble with broadcasting authorities. Indeed, according to the Law Press (no relation to Mr. Law), the radio host has been a naughty boy for quite some time. It seems Mr. Laws has had secret agreements with sponsors that appear on his show. And not just once, but twenty five times. Australians call this sort of duplicity "cash-for-comments," while I call it "criminal". Carson may very well be a pompous little pansy prig, Mr. Laws, but that is so much better than being a bigoted, crooked, Down Under D-list asshole. Or, as the Aussies might say, a bloody wanker.

I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THEM, BUT CONGRATS ANYWAY
British musicians Antony and the Johnsons have won the Mercury Prize, a prestigious British music award given to the best album by a British or Irish band. Openly gay singer Antony Hegarty leads the band and their CD, I Am a Bird Now, beat out albums by Cold Play and the Kaiser Chiefs. Fans of the band include Boy George and Lou Reed who both contributed to the album. Antony and the Johnsons join past winners including PJ Harvey, Franz Ferdinand, Primal Scream, and Dizzee Rascal, none of whom I have ever listened to, but I'm impressed nonetheless! Now it's time for me to nap in my rocking chair.

BUT WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATELY?
Billboard.com reports that Elton John is busier than a FEMA official trying to shift blame. The endlessly energetic singer is not only still touring and appearing in Las Vegas, but is scheduled to release a new album in 2007 just in time for his 60th birthday. And it's not just any album-it's a sequel to 1975's classic Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy, to be titled Captain Fantastic and the Kid. If that isn't enough, Elton's going to add another musical notch to his diamond-encrusted belt to go along with The Lion King and Billy Elliott.

This time he and long-time writing partner Bernie Taupin have penned Lestat, based on the Anne Rice Vampire novels. And there are the nine songs he wrote with the Scissor Sisters, the development deal for a sitcom about a rock star and his entourage, the Christmas fundraising album, the meeting to pay Satan for the deal Elton made for a lifetime of fabulous success and youth....

Now I'll shut up so you can have the best gay week ever!