Lest you think I forgot our gay teens on daytime TV, I didn't. MIA Lucas on General Hospital actually crossed in the background of a scene--either him or Bigfoot, it was hard to tell. Later Lucas had actual lines to say. During a funeral, he arranged a date with Guy. Now that's class. And Luke on As the World Turns continues to get manipulated right and left by Rose. She's such a devious little thing, I half expect her to pull off her mask and reveal she's actually Karl Rove. I've given up waiting for Luke to actually come out to his parents. Oh, it'll happen eventually, but Jenna Bush will probably be president by then.

And I know it's hard to believe, but twenty five years have passed since Dynasty first premiered. Naturally, the world is clamoring for the Dynasty Reunion: Catfights and Caviar special to celebrate…well, I'm not sure what they're celebrating. Most everyone will be there except Heather Locklear, who actually has a career. There has been talk that Linda and Joan will restage their famous lily-pond fight scene. No word whether Al Corley will reenact Steven Carrington's “I'm gay/not gay” struggle. The special, and I use the word loosely, airs May 2 nd on CBS.

Finally, in case you missed it, check out our roundup on which television pilots feature gay characters and plots. Did I mention the glaciers are melting?

AND ON THE SILVER SCREEN
Last week I mentioned that Lucky Number Slevin included a gay sub-plot involving Josh Hartnett, but--SPOILER ALERT!--what I didn't know was just how unpleasant it is. In order to save his own neck, Josh (Slevin) has to kill a gay character known “affectionately” as the Fairy. In order to get close enough to do the deed, Josh pretends to be romantically interested in the Fairy and offs him during the date. Gosh, I'm so sorry I didn't find time to see that.

Opening this week is Phat Girlz starring Mo'Nique, which includes a gay guy who is her best friend. We all know what a fag hag is, but what's the term for a gay guy who hangs around a straight woman? (In completely unrelated news, Tom Cruise has been everywhere blabbing about Katie!) Jennifer Aniston's Friends with Money goes wide today. The fellow married to Frances McDormand 's character may or may not be gay. No one can figure it out. Scary Movie 4 opens and, of course, features a Brokeback Mountain spoof. Oy vey. It features rubber gloves, petroleum jelly, and a disco ball—just like my doctor's office. Is that odd?

Probably of most interest to gay boys is Kinky Boots, an indie flick from England about plucky folks in unlikely friendships. In this case, it's Lola (Chiwetel Ejoifor), a drag queen who befriends an English lad whose factory is about to go belly up. Together the two wacky kids save it. Check back on Monday for our review.

By the way, I recently caught the trailer for Jennifer Aniston's next movie, The Break Up (they pop up like mushrooms, don't they?), and it too has a gay character played by Paul William Higgins (Best in Show). It's hard to say how big a part Higgins has, but in the trailer he does kick Vince Vaughn's ass, which is a refreshing change from Vaughn's homophobic Wedding Crashers. That flick involved a creepy gay guy who all but attempts to rape Vaughn's character. Perhaps this is Vince's penance. Let's see him get his ass kicked three or four more times and we'll call it even.

Now I'll shut up so you can have the BEST.GAY.WEEK.EVER!

That's it for this week! Check back next Friday for a new installment of Best. Gay. Week. Ever., or read previous installments here.

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