MAYBE ANDREW SHOULD HIRE VITO TO WHACK BREE!
Our own Karman Kregloe nicely summed up the gay storylines in both last week's Desperate Housewives and The Sopranos. I'm not one of those folks who feels DH has run off the rails this season. In fact, I think it's been quite good (no comment about wasting Alfre Woodward, however). That being said, it better be done with the Bree-can't-accept-Andrew's-gayness storyline. It ended sweetly with her seeing Andrew through Justin 's eyes and that should be that. Not that I expect Andrew is going to be saintly from here on out.

As for poor Vito over on The Sopranos, he lived to survive another day, but it seems it's not only Vito's fellow mobsters who aren't happy about that. Gambling911.com reports bettors who put money on Vito to be the first character to get knocked off are tired of waiting for their money. Imagine how they're going to feel if he doesn't get knocked off Sunday night.

I'M NOT YOUR BITCH, BITCH!
If you don't know who said that, you weren't watching Bravo's Top Chef on Wednesday night. The groups were split into opposing teams with gay Dave up against bi Tiffani. Each team had to come up with a design for a “concept” restaurant. (Translation: a restaurant where credulous goofs pay out $50 bucks for an entree worth $5 bucks so they can say they ate there.) Anyway, Dave finally snapped at the overbearing Tiffani, informing her that he wasn't her bitch. (He's actually Santino's bitch. Okay, I just made that up.) Sources tell me Tiffani is the frontrunner to win, but that Dave stands a good chance of making the top three. First Project Runway, now Top Chef. We really are a creative people!

Jameson is still alive on FOX's Unan1mous, so I'm obliged to make snarky comments about that show. Last week I mentioned there was a mysterious black box that we had to wait a whole week to see opened. I don't know about you, but I could hardly sleep. Anyway, it was finally opened and even I was shocked by what they found inside. Tom and Katie's baby! I was wondering where they were really keeping it all these months. Anyway, this week's episode ended with Jameson on the verge of being eliminated. If there is a God in heaven, please let it be so.

COME OUT, COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!
As the World Turns' Luke was this close to coming out to Poppa Holden when Momma Lily conveniently—and momentarily—suffered labor pains. Earlier, devious Jade tried to convince Luke he might be straight by kissing him, but Luke, thankfully, was having none of it. I'm loathe to admit this, but I actually like the storyline and especially Van Hansis' portrayal of Luke. Call him the anti-Andrew van De Kamp. Luke's parents really seem to care about him, and he cares about them, and nobody wants to hurt anybody else. Naturally, they will of course.

As for Lucas over on General Hospital, you'll recall that sometime last century he and Guy arranged a coffee date. Apparently, the date must be at a Starbucks in Outer Mongolia as they still haven't managed to meet up. I suppose Lucas might have appeared this week in the background of a scene, dusting perhaps, or looking for his part. I'm so bored waiting for something to happen that I fast forward through it at 16X so who knows what I missed. Hell, maybe they had footage of Katie Holmes giving birth.

PATTI, K.D. AND KEVIN CAHOON. NAME A GAY ICON, A LESBIAN, AND A GAY MAN.
No, that's not the answer to a Jeopardy question. Those are three new CD's worth checking out. I've been listening to Patti Lupone's The Lady with the Torch all week and loving it. It's a collection of her favorite torch songs (what—you thought it was about pyromania?) and my fave tracks are "The Man I Love" and "The Other Woman". k.d.'s CD is a compilation of music from her first ten years of recording. That would be her “Cow-Punk” period. I'm a huge k.d. fan, but I have to confess this is not her work with which I'm most familiar, though I have always loved "Big-Boned Gal". Finally, Kevin Cahoon is an up-and-coming Broadway star who also sings with his band, Ghetto Boy. Their new CD, Doll, is an eclectic mix of retro-punk and glam; the sound sorta reminded me of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Especially the remake of Anne Murray's "Could I Have This Dance."

Now I'll shut up so you can have the BEST.GAY.WEEK.EVER!

That's it for this week! Check back next Friday for a new installment of Best. Gay. Week. Ever., or read previous installments here.

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