(I'm hoping for the one where Ennis gets over his hang-ups and sets up ranch-keeping with Jack.) In case you missed it last week, Vito left Johnny Cakes and headed back to New Jersey. It appears you can take the guy out of the mob, but you can't take the mob out of the guy. I've only got one beef with Vito's storyline: his running off to New Hampshire as some sort of gay mecca where you can "Live Free or Die" (the state's motto). I hate to break the news to The Sopranos' writers, but for gay men, New Hampshire is not the live free or die state. In fact, of all the New England states, it's the most homophobic and reliably conservative. Vito really should have headed for Massachusetts, or at least Vermont.

Doctor Who continues to impress with its utterly nonchalant attitude toward Captain Jack's (John Barrowman) bisexuality. In one scene last week, Jack uses an ongoing relationship with a soldier to get past security. Later Rose figures out Jack's warp coil drive goes both ways, something Doctor Who already tumbled onto. The Doctor bemusedly even wonders who it is that Jack is most attracted to. I'll definitely be staying tuned to find out the answer.

Honestly, who thought Queer Eye for the Straight Guy would make it past two seasons, much less three? Well it has and season four arrives June 6th, but knowing they have to do everything possible to keep things fresh, the guys are off to Las Vegas to help out clueless heterosexuals there (meaning Siegfried and Roy, perhaps?). Rumor has it that next season the Fab Five travel back in time to help The Bradys update their look. First up: the shag in the Brady living room, and on Carol's head.

And CBS has announced voting will begin on the Big Brother All Star cast starting June 21st, right after host Julie Chen introduces the twenty candidates. If there is a gay boy amongst the potential housemates, I suggest everyone vote early and often if you really want to see someone gay on network television this summer.

OPENING THIS WEEK
Ian McKellen whets gay fan's appetites with the less gay of his two summer movies when The Da Vinci Code opens today. If you want to prove your tastes are more sophisticated than such common fare (and watch someone way hotter than McKellen or Tom Hanks), you can head down to your local art house cinema and catch Gael Garcia Bernal starring in The King. Box office pundits are predicting a close battle between The Da Vinci Code and The King. Bettors are waging that Code's weekend gross will only best The King by a mere eighty or ninety million.

And they're not gay and not hunky, but the Dixie Chicks are brainy, beautiful, and ballsy and they have a new album hitting the shelves on Tuesday. I've listened to Taking the Long Way five or six times now and while I confess to not loving it as much as their past two outings, it's still great. "The Long Way Round", "Not Ready To Make Nice", and" Lullaby" are all highlights, and it's great to see the Chicks, who stood up to the same right wing that loves to demonize gays, back and unbowed.

And now I'll shut up so you can have the
BEST.GAY.WEEK.EVER!

That's it for this week! Check back next Friday for a new installment of Best. Gay. Week. Ever., or read previous installments here.

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