Methinks this guy needs to go back and read our article on the fall network line-up, which is going to have a paltry eight gay characters on the schedule, down from an already mediocre fifteen roles last season (out of a total of approximate 700 characters every year). And with the cancellation of Will & Grace there will be zero lead gay characters on the broadcast networks. So, yeah, I guess we should just shut about Lost.

Another reader of the Lost article wrote in with the theory that Jack (Matthew Fox) is in the closet (a metaphorical closet and not some Hanso closet with a hatch, button, and polar bear). He says proof is found in Jack's inability to commit to a woman as well as some clues in his back-story. I say the proof is the fact that Jack is sensitive, still in great shape with his 40th birthday two months away, and unbelievably hot.

AT LEAST HE'LL ALWAYS HAVE THE LION KING
Word came down this week that Elton John's vampire musical Lestat was closing after just 39 performances. Tomorrow will be your last chance to see one of the new millenniums biggest turkeys thus far. As I mentioned previously, critics were not kind to the Anne Rice inspired extravaganza. No mention of how much Sir Elton personally lost in the fiasco (if anything) but the show cost upwards of $14 million dollars. (That's why I stick to helping my Goddaughter's stage performances of "The Bee Goes Buzz, Buzz, Buzz"! All I lose is my dignity.)

Perhaps Lestat's ignoble end accounts for Elton's nasty mood this week at Cannes where he lost his temper and suggested reporters should be shot. Tsk, tsk, Elton. Would Princess Di have approved of such talk? Uh, scratch that.

TAKE THAT THAT 70'S SHOW!
Just in case you missed the Will & Grace series finale on May 18th, NBC thoughtfully decided to rerun the whole thing again last night. Why? Perhaps they were dazzled by the shows' finale having landed in the top ten for last week. In fact, the final episode pulled in 18.1 million viewers, its best outing in two years. Even the W&G retrospective that ran before the finale pummeled the finale for That 70's Show. Reviews for the W&G finale ranged from the I've Seen Worse to It Sucked.

Fret not if you missed both airings—NBC has selflessly rushed the finale out on DVD. That's right. For a mere $9.98 you can purchase the forty-five minutes of Will & Grace you could have watched for free the past two Thursday nights. Given all that, I assumed the DVD would be tanking over at Amazon. Wrong! It's currently ranked at #61. (This is why you should never ever take stock market advice from me. Or relationship advice.) With that ranking in mind, I'm happy to announce that for only $4.99 you can purchase a DVD of what Jake Gyllenhaal and I did for fun last night. First, we walked the dog. Then we ordered take out. Later he called his mom (he's such a good son) and then we made popcorn and settled down with The Dying Gaul from Netflix. (Peter Sarsgaard was great, but the movie sucked and I fell asleep.) Jake must have tucked me into bed as that is where I woke up this morning. Come on—doesn't that sound better than W&G?

IS SHORTBUS THIS YEAR'S BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN?
The answer to that would be an emphatic no. And I think I can safely state that John Cameron Mitchell (Hedwig and the Angry Inch) won't be part of any Oscar controversy come next year. At least not for Shortbus, his latest movie that played at the Cannes Film Festival. Shortbus “stars” an ensemble of non-professional actors who mostly have sex on screen. Lots of sex. In every way you can imagine--and some you can't. Unless singing "The Star-Spangled Banner" during an all guy three-way is something you have spent a lot of time pondering. Mitchell tells reporters that young Americans are increasingly using the internet to replace sex and that Americans are growing more puritanical about sex. No doubt, Shortbus will change all of that.

Also making the round at Cannes this year were Sir Ian McKellen and Pedro Almodovar, whose Volver is rumored to be in the lead to bring home the Palme d'Or. Jake and I talked about going, but it's so “five minutes ago” we decided to stay home and hang.

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