Of course, this being the aughts it briefly wound up on YouTube, which didn't please Dempsey, who tells Ausiello he hadn't wanted to do it in the first place: "We had no choice," he grumbled. "We had to do it." When Ausiello asked how Dempsey felt about it getting on the web, Ausiello reports “he clenched his jaw and harrumphed, ‘They were supposed to not do that.'"

I'm not sure what the issue is here for Patrick, as the spoof was freaking hilarious and he has played gay before, most notably as Will's boyfriend on Will & Grace.

AT LEAST THEY FESSED UP BEFORE THE SHOW AIRED
As regular readers know by now, I've got a real bee-in-my-bonnet over the way some shows like, say, RESCUE ME, tease gay viewers with gay storylines, only to deliver us plotlines less developed than a thirty second ad for Burger King. For several weeks now, Nip/Tuck has been promising some sort of gay story line involving series regular Christian. First, there was a teaser about Christian and Mario Lopez in a steam room, then there was something about Christian and Sean on a couch that was supposedly sexual in nature.

First the steam room teaser turns out not to be gay and now Michael Ausiello clarifies this week that what happens on the couch isn't sexual after all. Instead, while seeing his shrink (played by Brooke Shields) Christian confesses something that will have us questioning his sexuality. Funny, what I'm questioning is whether or not I should pay anymore attention to this dance of a 1000 Veils.

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY STRIKES OUT. WHAT A SHAME!
The Houston Voice reported this week that the virulently anti-gay Focus on the Family is banned from participating in anymore of the Atlanta Braves' Faith Days games. Isn't that sad? Seems that during the last Faith Days those little Focus blighters were handing out material to fans warning “gay activists were targeting public schools”. No word on whether or not they were also complaining about how “icky” The Night Listener was or Patrick Dempsey's shower scene.

Braves' pitcher John Smoltz, a Christian himself, will still speak after the games on Faith Days, but hopefully will refrain from comparing gays to bestiality as he has done in the past. Focus on the Family offered no comment on getting the boot, but the Republican controlled Georgia legislature immediately passed a bill calling for the scalping of owner Ted Turner. Republicans in Congress also quickly passed a constitutional amendment enshrining Focus on the Family's right to say whatever they want to say about gay people. Every state in the south plus Wyoming, Utah, and Nebraska immediately ratified the amendment, but it failed in Kansas because it didn't include a tax cut for everyone who thinks WMD's were found in Iraq.

FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE
Not much opening this week, but next Thursday brings us the cinematic masterpiece Snakes on a Plane. I haven't exactly been able to get a handle on the movie's queer quotient, but there reportedly is a maybe-gay flight attendant who plays some part in the movie's outcome. At least that's what I'm reading online. Alas, New Line is not doing any press screenings of the flick (usually not a good sign), so we won't have a review of it for you on Thursday. But I'm not a man easily deterred (just ask Brent), and we should have something pretty interesting about the movie for you on Thursday. If you must thank me, just send chocolate.

ON DVD this week, you can watch HBO's Rome which wasn't gay exactly, but was still easy on the eyes. Or you could try 1991's Queen's Logic starring John Malkovich as a gay man who doesn't identify with other gay men (I guess this means he doesn't want to befriend fourteen-year old boys for nefarious purposes). Last week I forgot to mention that Here!TV released the first season of Dante's Cove on DVD. I had the chance to watch it—or as much as I could stand. Mom always said don't say anything if you can't say something nice. So all I'll say is if you're looking for a little erotica, Dante just might be your thing.

And on the telly, you'll find new episodes of Bravo's Work Out and Project Runway. Queer Eye has a new episode as well. Thanks to the whole brouhaha over our Jai Rodriguez interview, I never got to comment on the QE episode with the transgendered Miles. I actually thought it was pretty fantastic television with the guys giving us some actual insight into Miles' life. And Miles himself was wonderfully appealing, greatly impressing me with his self-composure and sweet personality. Equally terrific were his fundamentalist parents who have very little issue with their son's transition.

Also airing this week are new episodes of Reno 911 with the gay Officer Dangle, Big Brother (with Marcellas still in the running), and a show called Designing Blind, which I just read about on Towleroad.com. It stars Eric Brun-Sanglard, a blind, HIV-positive designer who hasn't let blindness keep him from doing what he loves. Designing Blind airs on A&E. Don't forget Noah's Arc is back on Logo. If you miss an episode, be sure to check out our recaps coming your way every Friday!

Sadly, a show I was really enjoying won't be coming back. SonoTORIous starring Tori Spelling won't be filming anymore episodes, which is a shame. No word if Tori didn't want to do the show after her father's death (and Mommy Dearest troubles), or if it was VH1 who passed. Bummer, either way.

Now I'll shut up so you can have the BEST.GAY.WEEK.EVER!

That's it for this week! Check back next Friday for a new installment of Best. Gay. Week. Ever., or read previous installments here

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