More interestingly, Recess Pieces also includes Drew, a young gay boy who knits sweaters for Troll dolls, yet is as quick to slaughter zombies as his non-knitting classmates. Says Fingerman about Drew, “That kid is based on someone I went to school with…I hope he is out there reading this…I mean, he was unique.” As for Drew's self-defense capabilities, “It would be too much the stereotype if he didn't know how to fight. You give the kid some knitting needles, throw some zombies at him, you can have some fun with that.”

Even better, Drew could grow up to win both Survivor and Project Runway.

THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT A SOAP OPERA
On Monday's upcoming episode of As the World Turns, Luke (Van Hansis) comes out to Kevin, his best friend (and the straight boy he lusts after, naturally). Kevin doesn't take well to the news and then somehow on Wednesday's episode he gets conked on the head by an oar (don't worry, it's not Luke turning into a homicidal maniac because a straight boy doesn't love him back), falls unconscious into the lake, only to have Luke jump in, pull him out and revive him with mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

On Friday's episode, Kevin regains consciousness to find Luke's lips pressed against his own. Kevin then realizes he has always loved Luke and wants to move to Wyoming and run cattle. Of course, at that moment, Luke realizes he really loves his stepfather who just ran away with his secretary who is secretly Kevin's mom. Okay, the stuff after Kevin wakes up isn't true—at least not as far as I know.

DOES ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY REALLY THINK THIS IS CLEVER?
If you were wasting your time last week worrying about global warming, war in the Middle East, or the report that even a few extra pounds can take years off your life (back away from the chocolate, Michael!), you might have missed the news that Marcellas Reynolds got booted from Big Brother: All-Stars. If so, no worries, as Entertainment Weekly has plenty of Big Brother coverage, including an article about Marcella's eviction titled "Backdoored Man". Get it? Marcellas is gay. Gay sex. Backdoor. I know, I know. You're laughing just as hard as I did.

Speaking of Entertainment Weekly, I finally got a chance to read their fall movie preview issue. They must have written their synopsis of Running with Scissors after watching the movie trailer I mentioned in last week's column. That's the trailer that manages to imply a heterosexual romantic storyline in Scissors despite the fact the movie is more queer than an RSVP Cruise.

Apparently the publicity folks behind the movie version of The History Boys missed the memo about how to promote a movie with gay content. (The History Boys is the Tony Award-winning play about a group of English school boys at boarding school, including at least one gay boy as well as a gay teacher.) I was most confused after watching the movie's trailer because it clearly conveyed the movie had—GASP!—gay content. No doubt this was an unauthorized version that has already been pulled down and replaced with a new cut that makes the movie look like a cross between Romeo and Juliet, Body Heat, and Debbie Does Dallas.

And it was just announced that Prince Charles and Camilla will be attending the UK premiere. Meanwhile, our own American Royalty will be attending the US premiere. That's right—Pamela Lee Anderson and Kid Rock! Or is it Tommy Lee these days?

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