Reality Check
by Marcellas Reynolds, September 28, 2006

A column written from the front lines of Big Brother's All-Stars.

Scene 1. Location: a sort of posh duplex in Beverly Hills. Marcellas is unpacking after a very long, unsuccessful business trip. He's happy, exhausted, $30,000 richer, and yet a bit miffed. He turns slowly to camera and screams, “What the hell are you doing here? The show's over! Put that thing away!”

So, yeah, we all know I did it. I was the gay guy on Big Brother All-Stars. I was one of 14 former Big Brother houseguests chosen to go back inside and compete for $500,000. I willingly volunteered to have my life, words and actions filmed and broadcast 24 hours a day, seven days a week for three months. And yes, I lost again.

Damn.

We live in a culture where anyone can be a “star.” Whether or not you have talent doesn't matter. Most reality stars have but one talent: being themselves. Since Big Brother 3 I have felt like a star — a star without the cash and entourage, but a star nonetheless! (And sometimes I've wished I had the bodyguards!)

I went into Big Brother All-Stars excited and apprehensive. I was excited to be part of a show I love — a show that I think is bigger than just a reality show. Big Brother is a potent social experiment. It's a real look at how human beings interact; how we meet, group, like, love and even how we hate each other.

I was apprehensive because I know the power of TV. People can hate you as well as love you. Because Big Brother is a reality show, people think they know you — the real you. They feel that you are that person they have watched three nights a week for 12 weeks. But you're not.

Confession: Big Brother All-Stars was not a fun time. The show was hard, with food deprivation, uncomfortable surroundings and some undesirable company. Add to that the fact that this gay boy is a spoiled brat. I own that. But do not call me a diva. I've worked very hard to get where I am.

I had forgotten what living in the Big Brother house was like day after day. I blocked out the fact that everything is filmed — even trips to the bathroom. Yep, ladies and gents, there are cameras and microphones in the loo. It took me a good three days before I could actually … well, you get the idea.

And let's talk about living with 13 other people. The one thing each of the houseguests truly had in common was a huge personality. Each one of us was there to compete not just for the money, but for screen time. You know that annoying cousin who, at every family event, has to hog the spotlight, tell the longest joke, or embarrass himself dancing like a fool so everyone will watch him? Now imagine 13 copies of him trapped in a house together.

Not a pretty picture, is it?

In fact, the single most frustrating thing about All-Stars was the constant battle for screen time. Some of the houseguests (mostly the straight males, sorry to say) spent all of their time “creating good TV.” There was always this mad rush for drama. Contrived fights we were forced to take part in whether we liked it or not.

But aren't we supposed to be ourselves? To avoid acting? Sadly, this isn't the case. So many of the houseguests spent so little time being real, instead aping for the cameras, that I don't feel like I know who they really are.

I think many of my fellow houseguests fell into the trap of thinking, “I'm a TV star, people are watching, and maybe this could lead to something else!” What I learned from my first appearance on Big Brother is that very little comes from being on the show. You get a check and that's it. There are no movie or TV roles waiting for you. There is a very short list of people who have made the transition from reality star to legitimate star. News flash! No one from Big Brother is on the list.

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