As long as there has been a Hollywood, there have been gay actors, mostly closeted. While many things have changed in the motion picture industry in the decades since the first moving picture hit the silver screen that has most assuredly remained the same. Women have moved up the industry food chain, African Americans play more than happy slaves, and many others in the film industry are out and joyously thank their boyfriends at the Academy Awards. Yet most major gay actors remain in the closet.

This has led me to wonder about my star crushes from time to time. After all, what do I really know about what my objects of desire do in the privacy of their own Hummer Limos?

How would I feel if I found out that one of them was gay? How would my friends feel if they found out their crushes were gay? It turns out that I and some of my girlfriends had the same sequence of reactions:

“No, it wouldn't bother me at all.” Pause. “Well, I guess it would change things.” Not in an “I'll never see their movies again” way, but in a “wow, now I really can't have them” way.

Because, you know, it could happen: I could be sitting in an outdoor café, wearing a fetching red dress, enjoying a Caramel Macchiato, and Russell Crowe could spot me and fall madly in love. He would promptly throw his cell phone at my husband, as Russell is wont to do, so he could claim me for his very own.

The fact that Crowe has a wife and two children, and I have my husband and daughter, or that he lives in Australia and, apparently, has quite a temper, doesn't deter my dreams the way his being gay would.

I have to admit to being an insatiable entertainment news junkie and gossip fiend. I'll find myself in long, involved discussions about the true nature behind Brad and Angelina's relationship. I eat up any “behind the scenes” stories I hear. So, I know a lot of gossip about the private lives of the stars. And I have my crushes. Oh, do I have my crushes. The first time I saw Russell onscreen, in LA Confidential (also starring Kevin Spacey!), I was so turned on that I could barely sit still for the length of the movie.

That leads to a different feeling altogether if I found out a favorite actor was gay; one that goes deeper than my silly romantic daydreams: a deeper respect and, oddly enough, more of a sexual attraction. I actually found Rupert Everett a lot more attractive after he came out. He exudes such a devilish “let's do it if it's naughty” persona, that you never know what he might be up for.

Since he's self-aware enough to admit his true sexuality, he might, hypothetically mind you, be open to having someone lick Norman Bishop's Garlic Dill mustard off his abdomen (okay, it's me, and I'm a bit strange). And if I'm the “one woman” he finds attractive, well, that's a delicious fantasy. And maybe Russell would be open for a three-way?

Or maybe Russell and Rupert could hook up while I happened to be present. I must say, I found the Brokeback Mountain pup tent scenes extremely erotic. Two beautiful people making hot, steamy love is just, well, fun to watch.

I still vividly remember Daniel Day-Lewis and Saeed Jaffrey in My Beautiful Laundrette. I know there was a plot and stuff about immigrants in London and deeper meaning, blah blah blah in the movie, but I keep seeing Daniel's face when he pulls Saeed in for their first kiss. Or when they're spraying champagne all over each other with their mouths. Yowza! I think it's time to add that to my DVD list.

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