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AE: [to Wiegel] Millions of women fall in love with gay men. Do you consider yourself a spokesperson or role model for your women fans who are also fag hags?
Wiegel: They have asked me to be a spokesperson — for scoliosis.

Dangle: That's because you wear a special kind of brassiere. They don't want you to be a role model, they want you to be a model — for a kind of medical bra. They're talking about modeling in a catalog for bras for people with broken spines.

Travis: Wait — I think the interview question is referring to fag hags.

Wiegel: Oh, you mean a role model for fag hags. Oh — I'm definitely one of those!

Travis: To me, fag hags are fun! They're good to be around, interesting people.

Dangle: Yeah, "fag hag" is a positive term!

AE: And yet, Lt. Dangle, you are continuously trying to avoid Dep. Wiegel.
Lt. Dangle: You are painting me as some sort of callous person who doesn't care if she lives or dies … [in an aside] and that's true. But don't paint me like that. Let myself paint me like that!

AE: [to Lt. Dangle] Have you ever been invited to be grand marshal in any gay parades or to appear at any gay events?
Dangle: I've sent them some notes. They haven't let me be out in front. I don't know why.

Wiegel: [in an aside] He's tried. Every year.

AE: But Reno 911! has been nominated for a GLAAD Award —
Dangle: A GLAAD Award! Yeah — you'd think!

AE: Did any of you attend the GLAAD Awards in 2003 when Reno 911! was nominated?
Dangle: They don't jet us around too much to fancy gigs or cotillions or things like that.

Wiegel: They did ask us to work the opening of an Arby's. It was fun. We got some free Arby's.

Travis: Lt. Dangle had a falling out with the gay community in Reno recently.

Dangle: Well, we are a small community in Reno …

Wiegel: Kind of like a book club.

Dangle: There's around six of us. We do have a mustache party night. And here's the thing: If I don't get to DJ the mustache party night, who are they getting? It's ridiculous that I would be overlooked for that!

AE: After seeing you close up, I can tell your famous mustache is real.
Dangle: 100 percent!

Wiegel: It wasn't always 100 percent. He takes pills for it. He wore a stick-on for a while, and also wore those weird stick-on sideburns.

Dangle: Yes, well, that was during the rough phase in my life when I was figuring out who I was. You know how on the Viagra bottle it says, "If you have an erection for more than four hours, go to the hospital —"

Travis: What he means to say is that there was a good six-month period when we would see him walking around with fake sideburns, fake mustache and a permanent erection. That was one looooong bus ride to the hospital, man! [Laughs.]

Dangle: It turned out the doctor said it was stress. I had taken this knockoff Mexican Viagra.

AE: What's the real story with Deputy Cherisha Kimball? She refuses to come out as a lesbian, even though you all are trying to help her come out. Even in the new film, she still denies she's a lesbian.
Dangle: Look — Kimball is "out," whether she knows it or not. The important thing is, we know it!

Wiegel: You know, whenever anyone starts preaching about "God, God, God," they are a fag!

Travis: Anyone who talks about people being damned to hell for their sexual practices is a fag.

Dangle: Yup, that's how you can tell. They are probably playing for our team. And look out for the ones who say, "We gotta make a law against gay marriage!" and "The Bible says it's a sin!" and "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!"

Travis: The harder they thump that Bible, the harder they're thumpin' somethin' else under the table. [Laughs.]

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