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Of his decision to remain closeted publicly until 2003, Wong revealed to zap2it.com, earlier this year, “I'm a pretty private person, just not a big discloser in general, but also there was an issue of my career. Acting was really my entire world, but I entered a field that was particularly non-welcoming to me as an Asian-American. The opportunities already were somewhat limited to me, so it felt almost like a kind of career suicide to be completely out as a gay man. I bought into that for a long time.”

Difficult though it was, Wong consistently managed to be cast in roles that were either racially blind or those than went beyond the borders of Asian-American stereotypes.

In 1998, he began thinking that perhaps acting had been his entire life for too long. Maybe he needed something more that he could call his own, yet share with Richie. Wong and Jackson entertained thoughts of fatherhood. By the time the clock struck 2000, the couple was infanticipating. A surrogate mother, Shauna Berringer of Modesto, California, carried the twins produced by B.D.'s sperm and an egg from Richie's sister Sue.

Here's where Wong and Jackson's story crossed over from highly unusual to unique. A normal human pregnancy lasts about 40 weeks, or nine months. 28 weeks into the pregnancy, Shauna went into labor.

For B.D., his sons' birth changed everything. The twin boys, expected during the dog days of August, arrived in time for Memorial Day. First born was Boaz Dov, followed fifteen minutes later by Jackson Foo. Boaz Dov passed from this world ninety minutes after entering.

B.D. and Richie had no time to mourn their first born. They were immediately plunged into a battle to save Jackson 's fragile life. They did, however, nickname Jackson Foo, “the chestnut man,” because they thought he had the worldly-wise, weary face of the old men who sell chestnuts on the streets of New York.

Premature birth was not solely responsible for Boaz's death, and Jackson 's fight for life. The boys suffered from twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. With this condition, only one twin receives blood from the placenta. The other twin takes blood from his sibling.

Jackson Foo went into intensive care, remaining hospitalized for the next three months. It was during his son's hospitalization that B.D. began sending long, emotionally-charged, sometimes riotously funny, e-mails to friends. The e-mails elicited enthusiastic, supportive replies from hundreds of friends.

Later, when a publisher's encouragement was added to that of the almost one thousand friends that he had e-mailed, B.D. compiled the e-mails, both outgoing and incoming, into a heartfelt book, Following Foo:The Electronic Adventures of the Chestnut Man (Harper Collins, 2003). The critically-acclaimed 400-page volume is about Jackson Foo, the loss of Boaz Dov, and JF's two daddies.

The book is also Wong's official, public “coming-out.” As he told Gay City News in 2003, “I wanted a reason to help me come out. And this book became a reason and that allows me to do it 1,000 percent. I'm perfectly happy going on TV now and saying, “I'm a gay man. I'm happy and proud to say that.”

B.D.'s lifelong angst about his sexual orientation ended. He put it this way to the Daily Pennsylvanian, last month: “I was no longer blinking an eyelash about my sexual orientation because I had a human experience – parenthood – that transcended my fear of being judged.”

About the price of coming-out publicly, B.D. shared this concern with the Advocate in 2003: “Some days, I think, ‘You're never going to work again.' I think there's a real reason to worry, as anyone reading this magazine can understand. The book, for me, means I'm calling into question the whole career thing. But that's OK.”

Wong needn't have worried. Professionally, he's thrived. His Emmy-winning television series continues to be a ratings' winner, and he recently starred on Broadway, this time in a revival of Stephen Sondheim's 1976 hit, Pacific Overtures. Beyond that, two newly-completed motion pictures await release.

Sadly, it was B.D.'s relationship with Richie Jackson, and not his career, that was sacrificed on the altar of his public coming out. The very private Wong remains silent about the specifics of his and Richie's 2004 break up. But the agent is said to be in a new relationship with theatrical producer Jordan Roth.

Health-wise, Jackson Foo Wong is doing remarkably well these days, but his Daddy admits to contemplating what might have been had Boaz Dov lived.

B.D. has been vocal about his motivation for becoming a parent, in 2003, telling Gay City News, “It's too much of a pain in the ass to have a kid just because you think it's great as a gay person to do that. I had a real strong impulse to be a father, to share a relationship with a person….a parental blood relationship.”

Among the many things learned upon becoming a father, B.D. shared these insights in 2003, with his hometown paper, the San Francisco Chronicle: “Prior to the day the sky opened up,” the birth of the twins, “I wasn't totally me for some reason and now I'm getting an idea of who I am.”

After wrestling the twin demons of race and sexual orientation for most of his life, Wong, today, is much more comfortable in his Asian and gay skin, telling the Daily Pennsylvanian, “Ironically, the two things that I loathed about myself were the things that were rich about myself.”

A self-described control freak, B.D. now understands that there are things in life for which even the most controlling person can't prepare. For everyone, the future comes without a warranty.

But one thing is certain. In print and out, on the streets of New York, San Francisco, and Los Angeles, as well as at home, B.D. Wong will be following Foo, loving his chestnut man, for the rest of his life.

Get Following Foo:The Electronic Adventures of the Chestnut Man

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