It was only last month that many people in and outside of the gaming world discovered, to their surprise, that Rockstar Games’ latest release, Bully, has incorporated same-sex kissing into the game play. The revelation came to light on Flynn DeMarco’s website, GayGamer.net, which launched in July 2006. AfterElton.com recently spoke with DeMarco about the game, as well as the seemingly stealth culture of gay men who play video games.

AfterElton.com: How did you break the story of Bully and same-sex kissing?
Flynn DeMarco: I’m a regular reader of Kotaku. Florian Eckhardt [of Kotaku] posted an earlier review of it from GameBrink which mentioned that “you can kiss girls and some guys,” but that’s all. I got a copy of it myself, and with a group of friends we played until 11 p.m. at night, and we discovered that yes, you can kiss guys in the game.

AE: Why do you think the designers included it in the game?
FD: The real core of the game is about free will. The characters are in high school, and experimenting is a part of life. Interestingly, somebody posted a clip of the game to Jack Thompson [an attorney who crusades against violent video games], who protested about the inclusion of it and asked for the rating [Bully is rated T for teens] to be revised. The ESRB [Entertainment Software Rating Board] had already taken the same-sex kissing into account when they gave it the T rating.

AE: What inspired you to create the website?
FD: I was in New Orleans the day before Katrina hit. When we found out that we were not going to get back for some time, we went to Gamestop and bought a used Nintendo 64. One night I thought, “Wouldn’t it be fun to start up a GLBT gaming website?” Once I got settled down in Atlanta, a group of us started to get working on it.

I was really inspired by the personality of sites like Destructoid, where each of the posters has their own avatars and style that makes them distinct, and also by the easy layout of Kotaku. I got in contact with Mike Wilson to see if he would be able to help out with the tech side of things. I also got help from my friends Tim and Jason with content.

We knew that there was the huge untapped market of gay guys who play video games. A group of us would get together and play a game like Soul Caliber, and it would sound like some frat guys. Being a gamer and gay, it’s like a second coming-out when you go to most other websites. I wanted to create a place where you didn’t have that extra burden.

AE: Are you surprised by how much the site has exploded in such a short time?
FD: Absolutely! It’s been like an insane coaster ride for four months. One day I’m just a guy writing a blog about something I love, and the next thing you know we have 7,000 regular readers and I’m making video content for MTV. I also really need to acknowledge the other guys who work on the site: Mikey, Timsy, Toots, tiny dancer, Lectric Lich, Crazy Legs, Boy of Tomorrow. They have all really done a lot towards making the site what it is and its gaining popularity.

AE: What’s the first game you remember that had openly gay content?
FD: It’s hard to say whether it was Fable or The Sims. I got The Sims strictly for [the gay content]. I got bored [laughs]. You get married, have kids and a white picket fence. It was a big deal, yet it passed by without much notice. In a sense, The Sims really was one of the first advocates for gay marriage and adoption, because they were included in the game and treated just the same as heterosexual pairings and parenting.

AE: How have you dealt with the accusations of “forcing the gay agenda?”
FD: It’s an interesting subject. Gaming is mostly geared to the straight white male. What [the accusers] don’t understand is that mindset is built into the games. I find it ridiculous to be accused of that. I don’t feel like I am forcing any agenda. I’m really just saying that “hey, there’s something of interest to gays here as well as all this other stuff.”

AE: What are the kind of responses you have been getting from other gay gamers, as well as straight gamers to your site?
FD: The response has been overwhelmingly positive, and I’m very proud to say that we have a good portion of our regular readers who are straight. Of course there have been the homophobes and haters, but they are far outnumbered by the positive responses.

Gay Gamers have had a more personal response of course. I’ve gotten emails saying, “Thank you for doing this; I thought I was the only gay guy who likes games,” and “I’m so glad to have a place to go talk about games where I feel comfortable.” It’s a good feeling to read those things. You really feel like you're helping create a sense of community.

AE: Is there a typical gay gamer?
FD: I don’t think so. Just as there is no “typical” gay person or “typical” gamer. Everyone has their own feelings and opinions about games. They are a very personal choice, just like movies or books. Some people like Stephen King; some like Dickens. Of course, it is probably more likely that a gay gamer will buy a pink DS Lite before a straight guy would, but there are also a lot of gay guys that would rather have any color but pink.

Even though we are called GayGamer, we always try to put the “gamer” first and the “gay” second. As someone put it, “looking at gaming through a gay lens.” And seeing the responses to our articles from readers, I realize that there’s just as many gay gamers out there that are into more hardcore Halo and World of Warcraft-type games as there are those that love things like Katamari Damacy and Kingdom Hearts.

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