Ask the Flying Monkey! (February 15, 2010)

Have a question about gay male entertainment? Please send an email to aftereltonflyingmonkey@gmail.com and be sure and include your city and state and/or country.

Q: When a bromance involves a gay guy and a straight guy, is there a more appropriate/proper term than “fag stag”? I'm not bothered by the term, but are there any others we can use? – Dan, Baltimore

A: Not that I know of, although I just made up the term "'mo bro." As for "fag stag," well, I'm on record as hating the term "fag hag" – I mean, come on, insulting two groups of people with one term? – so I'm going to go on record as hating this term as well.

You know, I used to think there was no such thing as a 'mo bro – see what I just did there? I'm putting the term I just made up into circulation. UrbanDictionary.com, here we come!

Anyway, I used to think that the “straight” men who hang around with gay guys were all gay-but-in-denial. But there really are thoroughly straight men who really are drawn to gay men, who – let's face it – tend to be more literate and maybe a little less boorish. Frankly, I think some of these straight men enjoy the ego-stroking too, if they’re at all handsome.

So what do you call a gay guy who relates primarily to straight men, but in a non-sexual way? A straight mate? A twinkle bro? A purple jock?

Q: Lady GaGa, of course, has a massive gay following – so much so that, despite the fact that she is a relatively new artist, many have already labeled her as a gay icon. But is it too soon? How long were legends like Judy Garland, Barbra Streisand, and Madonna popular, particularly within the gay community, before given the status of "icon"? Has GaGa gained this status prematurely or is she on par with the icons of the past? – Marsha, Oakland, California

A: Well, the idea of a “gay icon” existed long before the term itself, so it’s difficult to say. But here’s what we know: Madonna, Bette Midler, Julie Andrews, Donna Summer, Mae West, Kylie Minogue, Grace Jones, Bea Arthur, Barbra Streisand, and now Lady GaGa all had large, passionate gay followings before “mainstream” audiences picked up on what we’d known all along. (Judy Garland, meanwhile, first became famous as part of child vaudeville act – although I'm sure all the gay nine-year-olds in her tap class went crazy for her.)

So do you simply need a large, passionate gay following to be a gay icon, or do you need some measure of sustained “mainstream” success?

It’s an interesting question, but it’s moot in the case of GaGa, given how openly she weaves her GLBT activism into her image, how famous she's become in just a year, and how unimaginable it is that her music won’t still be around in some form ten years from now.

I know the same sort of thing has been said about other artists who turn out to be flashes-in-the-pan, but don't you think GaGa feels different? In a way, I think she's even a bigger gay deal than Adam Lambert, if only because – bite my tounge! – I think she's going to be around a lot longer and make a much bigger musical impact.

Q: Why won't you tell Lily and Romana what you know about Sufjan Stevens? Their continual disappointment is disrupting my life, they won't stop complaining about it. Also they want to make you a burn book page and are plotting a smear campaign against you, just look at #theflyingmonkeysucks on twitter. I would be very afraid if I were you. So please, for your sanity and mine, do you know if Sufjan Stevens is gay or not? I hear he is quite good looking. – Jessie, Wellington, New Zealand

A: I have no idea who Lily or Romana are or what the hell you’re talking about. And for the record, flying monkeys do not respond well to threats, especially those as feeble as your hashtag one.

To my readers: apparently there’s this furious online speculation that sensitive singer-songwriter Sufjan Stevens is gay, based on a few cryptic lyrics and his generally non-threatened demeanor. I get it: this is some kind of internet phenomenon, a Rickroll for the 10s, where everyone is trying to collectively create a meme out of thin air.

Well, good luck with that. But for the time being, as I understand it, Stevens publicly identifies as straight. He and his record company did not respond to my request for a comment.

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