Ask the Flying Monkey! (February 24, 2009)

Have a question about gay male entertainment? Ask the Monkey! (Please include your city and state and/or country)

Q: It seems like Robert Pattinson is attempting to sabotage his own success by talking about his poor hygiene habits etc. Perhaps he is just being very honest, which is refreshing. However, I am curious about his sexual orientation. I have seen him with his friend Tom Sturridge, and they seem very close, but I get the feeling that he is being told by his agent and the Twilight machine not to "come out" since his fans are predominantly young females. Haven't we gotten past all that by now? – Eileen, Gainesville, Virginia

A: First, Pattinson is reportedly straight, having been romantically linked with Nina Schubert, Katie Leung, and Camilla Belle; Sturridge is merely his best friend. And actually, I believe him. Why? Because – as you say – he is so damn honest about everything else in his life.

Robert Pattinson (right) with friend Tom Sturridge

Still, the Flying Monkey also agrees with you about how he does come across as sort of resenting his sudden success, or at least the media frenzy surrounding it.

But honestly, who wouldn’t? I think it’s impossible to appreciate just how insane and invasive the scrutiny is at that level of fame. Pattinson plays the guitar (and sings two songs in Twilight, one of which he co-wrote), but he told the New York Times about how hurt he was by the negative reaction to an online clip of him doing an impromptu set at Los Angeles’ Whisky a Go Go.

“I was so not ready for the scrutiny,” he said. “I haven’t touched a guitar since. When you know you have to be good every time, you never want to do it again.”

But the real issue here is Pattinson’s reps, who seem to have done a really crappy job of prepping him for stardom. It’s fine to feel overwhelmed and annoyed and even bitch about it to your friends, but it’s rarely a good idea to do this in public, as it often comes across as ungrateful. After all, celebrities always have the option of leaving their chosen field at any time – and all the “problems” of fame will soon fade away. But to date, despite decades of bitching celebrities, Greta Garbo is just about the only one to have actually done this.

Q: I absolutely love Logo's Rick & Steve the Happiest Gay Couple in all the World series. It's very rude and laugh-out-loud funny. How long does it take them to make an episode, and why are there so few episodes per season? -- Reid in Florida

A: The Monkey agrees with you! Every few years, some new comedy sensation comes along and gets all kinds of attention – Beavis and Butt-head, 30 Rock, South Park, the latest break-out member of SNL – but for the most part, they leave me cold.

Then there are shows that truly do seem to me to be ground-breaking, or else just flawlessly executed – Drawn Together, My Name is Earl, Breaking Bad, and, yes, Rick & Steve – and while they do fine, they don’t seem to get nearly the attention I think they deserve.

Next page! Boy meets gay subtext. Plus, teen comedy cuties.