Ask the Flying Monkey! (March 11, 2009)

Q: I know how you guys hate Perez Hilton. He recently “outed” a rising young star, Nolan Gerard Funk, as being a former go-go boy – a straight guy who worked in gay clubs. But a simple IMDb check of 2006 or 2007 would have shown that Mr. Funk had a pretty decent career going on during those two years. I guess in between his appearances on shows like Supernatural and The Dead Zone, plus a few movies, he did side work as a stripper in some club. None of the sites that ran with this story seemed to pick up on this obvious fact. – Scott, Baltimore, MD

A: It’s an excellent point, Scott. From 2005-2006, Funk had a direct-to-DVD film role, two TV movies, and what looks like eleven SAG TV parts, making it – as you say – highly unlikely he was also working as a fully naked go-go boy in a gay club – despite Hilton’s self-proclaimed “impeccable” sources.

And this, Scott, is why the Flying Monkey hates Perez Hilton. But honestly, even if the facts were right, even if Funk did have to support himself like this, what’s the point here? Funk has obviously worked hard to make a name for himself as an actor, and it seems like all that work is finally paying off, with high-profile upcoming “teen” roles on Nickelodeon and the Hallmark Channel. So why is Perez trying to spoil it for him by spreading seedy gossip, not to mention his own lurid sexual fantasies?

Nolan Gerard Funk

Photo credit: Janette Pellegrini/WireImage

And why take such Goddamn glee in it?

There are really two kinds of people in the world: people who make it a better place, and people who make it a worse place.

Wait, maybe there are three kinds of people: those two, and people like Perez Hilton who make it a much worse place.

I don’t care if Perez’s mug is gay or straight. I just hope I never see it again.

Q: Is Bobby Hill from the show King of the Hill gay?  He has a girlfriend in some episodes, but it seems like she's really just his best friend and there are so many indicators that he is/might be gay.  Or is it that he doesn't know yet?  Even if it's just subtext, I'm impressed that he's not the butt of jokes, even when his dad is uncomfortable with his actions. It seems like a very realistic relationship, and he seems like a good role model for gay teens. -- Marie, Los Angeles

King of the Hill's "Bobby"

A: Can a cartoon character have a gay face?

The Monkey agrees with you, Marie. King of the Hill is, of course, told from the point-of-view of Hank Hill, the long-suffering Texas propane salesman. Since the point of the show is macho, retrograde Hank’s trying to make sense of a changing world, the perfect foil for him is his sports-hating, craft-loving son, Bobby, who wants to be a clown or a “prop comic” when he grows up. And while the show has strongly hinted that Bobby might be gay, the character is only thirteen, so we don’t know for sure. (Let’s face it: a big part of the joke is Hank’s obvious apprehension that his son might be gay – and that tension would be gone if Bobby ever came out.)

It’s true that Hank sometimes says of Bobby, “That boy ain’t right.” But there’s usually no question that the producers of the show think the real joke is on Hank, and that Bobby is fine exactly the way he is. Bobby certainly thinks he is.

Anyway, the show takes these characters seriously, and treats them both with some measure of respect. Which is probably why you and I both think that Bobby is a great character, and maybe even something of a role model for gay teens.

Next page! Gay anime, and the not so gay Buzz on The Closer.