Ask the Flying Monkey! (March 11, 2009)

People fear what they don't understand.Thats why homophobes are so scared of gay people. Perez Hilton is a disgusting human being.Is he even worth consideration?Not that hes always terrible its the crap he pulls and the way he treates people on his "blog" that make him disgusting

Seriously, I forgot I was watching anime and it totally got me hooked and made me seek out other anime series.  I'm not ashamed to say I cried my eyes out serveral times.

 If you're looking for another great non-pornographic anime with fabulous stories and art and captivating characters (yes, I'm a bit obsessed) try checking out the anime TV series "Junjou Romantica" (2 Seasons)

It tells the alternating stories of three gay couples ranging in age and their trials and tribulations getting together, staying together and figuring out how to love and be loved.

Brilliant.

http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=8922

"Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common." (Dorothy Parker)

Thanks for answering my question so quickly and so well! Bobby Hill is an awesome character and I've always been curious about him. But I'm not going to lie, I'm totally stoked to be in this week's "Ask the Flying Monkey!" It's my favorite AE column.

I thought you were gonna post my question since you asked for my whereabouts XD. Maybe next time. BTW I can totally relate to the gay face issue... although I heard about it until today too, it's not too much of a stereotype here in Mexico... or maybe it is and Im just not in the scene >.<

One of the all-time funniest things I've ever seen--that had me in hysterics all afternoon whenever I thought of it again--was Bobby Hill going to the Y to take a martial arts class, since Hank thinks it'll "toughen him up." Unfortunately for Hank, the only class that's taking students is a women's self-defense workshop, leading Bobby to spend the rest of the episode karate-chopping people while yelling, in his scratchy Southern accent, "THAT'S MY PURSE! I DON'T KNOW YEEWW!" Hysterical.

I like the characters from "Fake" and think they're a hot couple, but I dislike the way their faces distort when they're yelling or upset; there's also a queasy feeling watching the amount of physical near-violence between them that goes beyond rough-housing; you see it in this clip. (Not to mention the too-often-repeated theme in some Japanese anime about who REALLY looks/is Japanese, are they ashamed of it, etc.)

I think the "gay face" thing goes all the way back to silent movies (remember the clips of the "sissy" in "The Celluloid Closet"?). However, things have changed so much in the past 100+ years of pop culture and gay representation, it now comes across as just lazy and stereotypical.

As a female writer who writes almost exclusively gay stories, it was interesting to see the gay man's perspective into my own mind. I do agree that straight women in particular seem to identify very strongly with gay men (but don't ever call me a f*g-hag). Perhaps it is because we both identify with the emotional and physical love one can feel for a man, or perhaps it is because women have felt sexual oppression and so can sympathize with the gay community. But sometimes I feel it is just me, as I have other straight girl friends who, while supportive, aren't nearly as attached to the gay rights movement and gay culture as I am. Though I will note that some of the best gay books I have read were written by men; Rainbow Boys (Alex Sanchez), Out of the Pocket (Bill Konigsberg), Breakfast with Scot (Michael Downing).

You too can be saved by the blog! www.savedbytheblog14.blogspot.com 

I may be straight, but I'm not narrow.

Can someone please explain to me what Phillip Keane means in that bizarre comment quoted above?

"We already did that on NYPD Blue... and it would be wierd to revisit it"? Who is this WE he refers to, and is he saying that the barely there Bill Brochtrup character from NYPD Blue covers the bases for gays on cops shows from now till the end of time so no others are required?

I have to say I find his comment pretty appalling, unless I am misunderstanding what he is saying.

Mario was smarted in picking a name. You pick one that looks or sounds confusingly similar to an existing entity. Without female Paris Hilton, he'd perhaps go with a different name - maybe Vangelina. Rightwing groups do it all the time to try to create credibility off other group's pre-existing success. It's an old marketing ploy; rip-offs started doing it with medical group names to confuse people in spam asking for donations to their bogus orgs. For instance, which is the real deal American Cancer Society, or is that American Cancer Association, or the Allied Cancer Society, so on and so forth, making you second-guess yourself and who you are dealing with. You will find rightwing names or acronyms similar to familiar established groups. Acronyms are usually just one letter off. CNN, ACLU, ADL, etc. - the real deal originals - all have rightwing variations leeching off their brand identity and widespread brand recognition. The list is large. It's sad.

LOLOLOLOL.... Come on guys... Relax.

Honestly, can't we just make fun of ourselves for once without worrying about the sociopolitical tragedies that will result if the establishment starts making fun of us for having The Gayface? (And it's "The" Gayface, BTW!) :-)

And I'm also willing to bet many of you guys who claim to despise Perez Hilton are the first to check out his page every day! SOMEBODY's doing it.

Unclench already! Life's too short.

AfterElton has called 2006 or 2007 a great year for gay visibility for the three celebrities that came out. You also call Mario Lavandeira aka PérezHilton an abomination (yes, you are a bit biblical in your judgment). The first wouldn't have happened without the second.

Yeah, he's mean sometimes, but who isn't? I check his site every day, as I do this one. I guess I just have a thing for bitchy queens....

AE should start a new column entitled "What Offends Us, Collectively, Today."

I am sure there's PLENTY to fill a daily column! :-)

LGBT community. It's another to profit without regards to the lives of those and their family he outed. Who are we to take the liberty to make a personal decision for others!! A doctor does that because of life and death decision. His whole shtick is expose others to the core until the onlookers got tired and move on to the next victim. I'm beyond hatred, rather i feel really sorry for him, someone who is near one end of a spectrum we define as human being. Perez is morally and ethically handicap. Whether that is the making of environment or genetics I'll leave it up for the scientists to debate.

Since I'm new at this, earlier, when I went to preview a very long (first, I wrote wrong) diatribe in response to Brent Hartinger's "...too much credit" entry, I pressed a key and the whole thing disappeared. So now, in a more relaxed mood, I'll try again. If by any chance the other entry appears somewhere, sorry for the duplicate thoughts.

First, let me say that I love you all commenters and commentators, except for that guy who was exposed as an ex-gay and perhaps the Mores for Gays guy, sorry pretty face!

Gossip is evil. A very puritanical and perhaps fully truthful statement. But because of gossip, many of us who grew up before these more liberated days knew that we were not alone. Not only we (am I being as regal and arrogant as archevil PH by using we?) heard of the strange ladies around the corner and the refined bachelor who lived with his widowed mother but of celebrities (they've always been with us) like Eleanor Roosevelt and Marlon Brando who, evil tongues said, came to our relatively small island nation to relieve their also evil desires.

Early in the 70s (I was already in this country), gossip magazines splayed all over their covers the alleged affair of Rock Hudson and Jim Nabors. Yes, that Jim Nabors. And yes in that old, enlightened, mighty, and mighty homophobic America there were gossip magazines. It was a sorry but true affirmation for many of us. And, yes, the National Enquirer, which I've never read, didn't solve the AIDS crisis but it brought to Middle America (whomever they might be, as Joan Crawford used to say) the immediacy of that illness and the reality that we are everywhere for for them Mr Hudson was the epitome of American masculinity, an icon, in spite of that evil gossip. And it was also a great awakening for many of us.

PérezHilton's point is that he treats homosexual couples as he treats heterosexual ones.  My point is that if 2006 or 2007 was a landmark year in gay visibility, it was due in part to that PérezHilton, that despicable, piece of scum, sorry excuse for a human being, second in "eviltry" only to Hitler.  And I don't think you should have it both way but I can't stop you, of course.

In our gay history we are at a point similar to that when African-Americans despised people like Hattie McDaniels (Mac?). They've come around, we'll come around. If we oppose outing because it might jeopardize someone's way to make a living, these "nasty, spiteful, bitchy queens" are also trying to make a living. They might come around, after all one of our most beloved authors worked for Jesse Helms. They get enough hatred from our enemies. We don't have to embrace them but we don't have to despise them so fiercely afraid that it might reflect bad on us. If that's how we feel, there is something awful all right in our reflection but it's not Pérez Hilton. Anyway, those who would generalize like that, won't change their minds even if they knew a million gay men who are outstanding citizens.

There might not be a gay face (a friend of mine used to say it was soft lips) but, nowadays, even those who proclaim they are "straight-acting" are only fooling themselves and those who want to be fooled. And we forgive a lot of what our own does. If the phrase by Mr Hartinger (I do enjoy reading you so much,...yes, Brent) had been written by a non-gay, most of us would be asking for his head, or at least his pinky.

Yeah, I thought that every picture I took, anyone and their mama would be able to tell that I was gay. I had a so-called in-the-closet-out-of-the closet posses of guys that felt better about themselves by puttig me out on blast any chance they got about my gay ways, especially my GAY FACE. I don't want to sound over confident about being gay but if someone asked me, I would tell them the truth. Well my friends that weren't too comfortable in their own skin, made me feel good about being gay when it benefitted them and extremely bad and so self-conscious all at the same time. "Oh My God, you look so tootie fruity in this picture we took the other day!" I'm such a picture freak and love hamming it up for the cameras but my friends hated pictures and hated to smile in pictures even more. One of my old friends had a nickname, 'Colgate' because he had extra white teeth and such a killer smile but never smiled because he was afraid that he looked gay in pictures, like me. It seems I would shake all that negativity out of them but still they would criticize my photo shoots and my photo opts. I realized that people from space could tell that I was gay and I didn't need to feel as bad as I did about being gay because of my so-called friends. I can't lie and say that it wasn't easy coming to terms with the facts, that I possess so many feminine traits but it is what makes me unique and extremely special.

Perez seems like a hard pill to swallow but even when people would spend more time talking about how unattractive he looked or how heavy he was, he held his head up high and solider on.  He actually did something about how he looked and his weigh issues.  Boyfriend either hit the gym and got a stylist because he been looking pretty lean and trim.  I know many of the personal attacks on his character had to hurt because even though he doesn't seem human, he is. We all know that he didn't start this gossip/swag phenomenon and actually enter in the game with not too many connections. He amazingly created this name for himself that is undeniable. Joan Rivers used to be on every celebrities tongue for being this hateful gal when it came down to red carpet events. She would throw so many people under the bus it wasn't funny but it seems many of the things she would say, other people felt the same exact way. Simon from American Idol, is other person that people love to hate but secretly agree with. The only difference between Perez, Joan and Simon is the fact that Perez is gay people feel he shouldn't be as critical as he is. I think that we still live on a planet that even though most things in the arts, start with the style, grace and vision of some behind-the-scenes gay person. It's oblivious that gay people still shouldn't be opinionated about too many things, especially when it comes down to our so-called 'straight' counterparts, who have dabbled in our community for as long as I can remember.  Is outing people fair?  I don't know how I feel about that because everyone should have a right to come out when they are ready.  You have to figure that there are people in positions that their coming out would benefit everyone in the community but they chose to stay quiet until they are ready.  I remember back in the day Madonna used to out a few folks as a hobby and there wasn't any torch carrying villagers looking for her.  She was almost looked as a gay icon.  Maybe not anytime soon but Perez would get that same kind of status in our community.  He seems to get his share of love from people that in the past called him ever name under the sun, I know boyfriend even got his share of death threats and been rolled up on.  It seems his blog is one of the first spots that many of the celebs make when they have some project coming out or to see who is the new 'IT' girl/guy or what his opinion is.     

OK, this isn't something I want to do, but I'm going to defend Perez Hilton as a force for social good. It's almost impossible not to accept every criticism that has been made of Hilton, however, in the greater, longer-term strategy for equality he is useful. This argument is based on two planks: First, he may out celebrities - or force them to out themselves - but once they're out, generally, he supports them. OK, he doesn't do it without strings, but he is a strong supporter of out gay celebrities. As such, he's using his bully pulpit to say that being gay as a celebrity is no different to any other celebrity. He may be in the gutter according to many social norms, but he treats everyone with the same contempt - although, if anything, he favours the gays over the straights. Given the number of readers he has on his site, that's not an insubstantial message to get across. He's virtually a televangelist on the internet in terms of his reach into the wider community and his message about sexuality is that it's OK to be gay - and that it's far better to be open about sexuality. Secondly, his own physical, intellectual and emotional appearance is out there. He's a gay man and he's not up there as porn star as a physical specimen of humanity. And he's not a kind member of the human race either. He's not kind and he's not pretty. Against that, he is very human. He's also powerful - whether that's liked or not. And he is gay. His sexuality is not a get-out-of-jail-free card with other gay men, but in the face of straight society, we have to accept he represents part of the continuity of what being gay is. He's as gay as John Barrowman, Cheyenne Jackson, Richard Simmons or Liberace. He doesn't have to be liked, but if he's rejected by the gay 'community' then that 'community' is telling lies about itself and is giving an opening to the non-gay community to exploit a division. No matter how it's spun, gay men are not the same as straight men. Attempts by gay men to conform to straight men's idea of masculinity will never work because - when it comes down to it - straight men are designed to sleep with women, gay men are designed to sleep with other men. There can be massive areas of overlap in terms of behaviour in public, but - in the intimacy of privacy - gay and straight are different. It's entirely reasonable to dislike Hilton for his professional ethic - but there are more similarities between the gay men reading this and criticising Hilton than there are differences. Hilton is a head-on assault on the idea that conformity means equality. And that's important. He sets his own agenda and part of that agenda is that it is more painful to be closetted than to tell the truth. Where he falls down is that in his eagerness to say 'gayness is fine', he may or may not out someone who may or may not be gay. That's a professional failing and he should be hauled over the coals for it. The thing is, Perez Hilton is unapologetic about himself. He is what he is - be that good or bad. He's not someone who has to be liked, but we'd be fools if we didn't learn from him.

Also Gravitation is a pretty good gay anime and a few others I can't think of at the moment

I am an avid fan of King of the Hill, and I have to disagree with the notion that Bobby Hill can even be construed as gay. I understand fully that the stereotypes that are used as litmus tests to analyze sexualities are simply false, and that any character/soul/person can be gay. However I think that while the writers on the show do, at times, play upon that sentiment (of being gay) with Bobby (albeit incredibly subtly - to the point of a great sense of non-existence) - the show touches upon a much higher intent - in showing the distance between Bobby and his father (through a generational gap). I think that perhaps Hank's rearing (in a more 'rugged' and 'rigid' environment) lends him to a more conservative nature. Bobby, on the other hand is a product of his generation, being much more liberal, and as of such so are his mindsets and personality. I would even go as far as saying that the show has so very little to do with the 'gay vs. straight' angle and has so much more to do with the generational divide, and perhaps - the distinct strangeness of a father/son relationship when both share little in common in the way of mindsets. Many times, Bobby comes off more so of a 'nerd' than much else - a boy that has a flare for drama and comedy, much more so than average boys his age (when measured up against the typical stereotypes perpetrated by the show, and even by stereotypes perpetrated by American society as a norm ), but often times we also get to see the distinct heart of Bobby in his love for his neighbor Connie and his undying, jokingly 'bro-mantic' friendship with Joseph. Simply put - he seems set in the awkward teenage (or, rather pre-teen) phase. I very much doubt that he will be shown as a gay character, and to be honest, he is often portrayed as much more of a 'nerd/geek' and than as gay. For better examples - see episodes in which he assumes the role of a 'Wizard', other episodes in which he chooses soccer over american football (with the notion of soccer being much less manly), or the episode in which he and Connie escape to "Branson" to start lives as a pair of touring acts (he, as a prop comedic and she a concert violinist). 

Brent, thank you for giving the "Gay Face" issue the respect it deserves.

The character on the Closer with the strongest gay vibe (gay face?) is the coroner. I find him really sexy even though he does work with dead people. He also seems to occasionally take delight in making some of the other officers very uncomfortable.

Actors in Hollywood stay in the closet because of the blatant homophobia that exists and the notion that people won't accept an actor if he or she comes out, which is quite ridiculous. Hollywood is a big old fabrication anyway. I don't despise Perez Hilton. He doesn't apologize for who he is and the more actors that come out, the better. Neil Patrick Harris got lauded for coming out but he only stepped up to the plate after Perez outed him. Now he's reaping the benefits! But Perez is the one that gets all the hate. Quite interesting!