Ask the Flying Monkey! (April 5, 2010)

This week! Gay singer-songwriters who change the lyrics, the legendary "director's cut" of 54, and various TV hunks bare (almost) all! Plus, when will we see Rachel's gay dads on Glee?

Have a question about gay male entertainment? Contact me here (and be sure and include your city and state and/or country!)

Q: This site frequently takes to task shows with "invisible" gays, but I've seen no mention of the literally invisible two gay dads of the character Rachel on Glee. They were shown, I believe, in a photo montage in the pilot episode, but never seen in the flesh. We've met at least one of the parents of nearly every other major character on the show, including Finn and his pregnant girlfriend, Puck, Kurt, and even Mr. Schue. Do your sources indicate if or when we will ever see these two dads? – Jim, New York, NY USA

The only visible evidence to date of Rachel's gay dads

A: Alas, the producers tell me that there are currently no plans to show us Rachel's gay dads and that they definitely won't appear this season.

But who knows? Perhaps your perfectly reasonable question to them will plant a bug in their ear! Trust me: that's exactly how these things happen.

Q: Oh mighty friend of Elphaba! After seeing hunky Tomasz Schafernaker on the cover of Attitude, I have decided to marry him. In order to do that, can you tell me more about him? – Michael, Vancouver, Canada

A: I honestly don’t understand the UK.

In January of this year, BBC “weather presenter” Tomasz Schafernaker appeared in skimpy shorts on the cover of an insert of the gay UK magazine Attitude. This has resulted in a flurry of speculation about whether he might be gay (which I understand) and a bunch of tabloid-hyped controversy about how “shocked” his bosses were (which I don’t understand).

Schafternaker, dressed and undressed

Why is this a big deal? Because it’s a gay magazine? Because he’s shockingly (surprisingly) hot? I thought we Americans were the simple-minded Puritans!

Then again, we didn't give the world Mr. Bean.

But Michael, when you do marry Tomasz, know that you’ll enjoy vegetarian food, talk of his fascination with the paranormal, and early nights in bed (his job requires that he be up at 4 AM).

And the “stunning secrets” the magazine promises on the cover? They don’t include his coming out, but I can tell you this: because of his Eastern European background (he’s Polish), he is naturally hairless – he didn’t shave for that shoot (although he admits there may have been some minor airbrushing).

P.S. Elphaba and I have had a nasty falling out. Suffice to say, she could’ve warned me about the green stains before she sat on my white leather couch! Plus, she’s just not popular enough.

Q: Do you know what gay celebrities who “tweet” (use twitter.com)? – Diego, Mexico DF, Mexico

A: Do I ever! We have a regular feature called TwitterWatch that let’s you know who tweets and what interesting things they have to say.

Next Page! A TV handyman with an underwear-modeling past?