Ask the Flying Monkey! (May 14, 2009)

Have a question about gay male entertainment? Ask the Monkey! (Please include your city and state and/or country.)

Q: Regarding that, um, interesting scene of Kirk (Chris Pine) in his underwear in the new Star Trek: since the movie supposedly takes place in the 22nd century, that's presumably what men will be wearing then, right? So where can I get the underwear of the future ... today? -- Steve, Philadelphia, PA

A: Personally, the Flying Monkey is holding out hope that the not-so-distant future will see a return to the simple beauty that is a pair of tighty-whities, but I suppose I should just be thankful that the new Smokin' Hot Kirk wasn't wearing saggy, baggy boxers.

Unfortunately, the undies worn by Smokin' Hot Kirk in the movie were made of pure Romulan silk and were created by the Edoian designer Rakop in the year 2250. In other words, they don't actually exist yet.

Still, is there a way to somehow replicate Kirk's underwear? The Flying Monkey is nothing if he isn't diligent when it comes to, um, research such as this. Here are several contemporary approximations you might try: the Calvin Klein Flex Fit Trunk in smoked blue, Undergear's Tactics Boxer Brief in denim, and the Tulio Slink Power Pouch Square Cut Trunk in light blue.

Photos courtesy: MensUnderwearStore.com

As for filling out your boxer briefs as nicely as Chris Pine does, well, Steve, you're on your own there.

Q: The husband and I watched Quantum of Solace a few days ago, and I remembered the controversy that heated up after Daniel Craig's statement about a possible gay James Bond. Of course he had to take it back after the public outcry. I know it's probably never going to happen, but if you could choose a "Bond Boy" or a gay villain, who would it be? -- Anna, Braunschweig, Germany

A: What is a Bond Girl (or Boy) exactly? Someone pretty, of course, but maybe also a little vacuous, a little … compliant? Toward that end, I might suggest Ashton Kutcher, Channing Tatum, Ryan Reynolds, or Zac Efron.

Oh, and Terrence Howard, just to piss him off.

The Monkey's "Bond boy" suggestions clockwise from top left:
Channing Tatum, Terrence Howard, Ryan Reynolds, Zac Efron,
Ashton Kutcher

As for villains, I think Victor Garber would make a great gay villain (and, frankly, not a bad Bond Boy either). Other possible villains: Ewan McGregor and Morgan Freeman. I’d also say Guillermo Díaz, but I’m afraid I might be typecasting him.

Next page! Gay/straight actor pairings, and gasping for Gaspard Ulliel.