Ask the Flying Monkey! Can/Should a Boy be a Disney Princess? Does "De-Gaying" Movies Work?

This week! We explore whether Disney lets little boys become Disney princesses – and if that's okay! We answer whether a guy should tell his 13-year-old brother to stop saying "That's so gay." And we ask: "Does de-gaying a movie ever work?"

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Q: One of my cousins has a five-year-old grandson who is totally obsessed with Disney princesses and all things of a feminine nature. His parents are working on being accepting of him, but his grandmother, who has a gay son and a gay cousin (me), is totally accepting of him. Disney World has something called The Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique (gotta love that name), which is a salon that transforms little girls into the Disney princess of their choice. They also have something called The Pirates League, where they do pirate makeovers for everybody regardless of their gender.

My cousin and I are thinking of taking him to Disney World for his sixth birthday, and if he is still into Disney princesses, would love to take him to The Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique. Does Disney have a specific policy against transforming little boys into princesses, or are they okay with this? It would mean the world for him to become a "real" princess for a day. And how do you, with all of you wisdom and sensitivity, feel about this? (FYI, we would be doing it with the full blessing of his parents.) – Bill from Bama

A: What a fascinating question!

First, I must confess: I have an extremely negative reaction to anything princess-related. Not only do I despise to the core of my being the whole notion of "royalty" (where certain people are given great wealth and power and considered “special” and “ordained by God” by sole virtue of their frickin’ genes!), I especially hate the idea that individuals are valued for their “beauty” and other passive, worthless attributes, like big hair, frilly dresses, and waiting for a prince to rescue you.

I essentially put “princess-worship” on about the same level as a full-body burqa: a stubborn remnant from a regressive, misogynistic past. I mean, why not romanticize owning slaves and genocide while we're at it? (I know: some people do.)

When the princess trend started engulfing the world a decade ago, it was all I could do not to slit my wrists with my niece’s sparkly magic wand. That it's girls embracing this is all the more depressing. (Full disclosure: I get the same way at traditional weddings, when I see women openly embracing rituals and ideas that have been used to oppress and dis-empower females for generations.)

Fun, potentially depressing fact: the "princess" phenomenon was mostly little-girl-driven and caught Disney mostly by surprise; and to their credit, they have definitely tried to emphasize the less pathetic/horribly-dehumanizing parts of being a princess.

Now in my defense, my reaction to all this isn’t gender-based. I have the same negative reaction whether it’s a little girl or a little boy who wants to be a princess.

But your question, Bill, is forcing me to take a step back and examine my extremely negative anti-princess (and anti-wedding) attitudes.

Basically, I really need to lighten up. No kidding, right?

Like so many things, the definition of “princess” is changing – for one thing, who’s to say a princess is a girl? We've already decided a princess doesn't necessarily have to be a rich, pampered member of a wealth-controlling, oppressive ruling elite. Anyway, if it makes any child happy to have a glittery tiara and sparkly shoes, well, who am I to say no? The world needs more joy, not less, right?

Regarding the Bibbidi Boppity Boutigue, I was really curious how they’d react to your situation, so I called them up.

First, let me say that you haven’t been stuck on a phone tree until you’ve been stuck on a Disney reservation phone tree: the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse has nothing on them.

That said, they were (ultimately) very respectful and said they’d be happy to accommodate the child of your cousin – providing you make a reservation and explain all this in advance.

Still, I got a couple of indications that this is not a request they get very often – maybe never (they wouldn't answer my question about this directly). With that in mind, I think the possibility of there being some awkwardness, at least among other parents and kids, is somewhat high.

Also keep in mind that the boutique now also offers a package called “Cool Dudes” designed specifically for little boys (I gather it’s for the little brothers of the other princesses), involving colored hair gel and confetti. One possibility is some sort of mix-and-match option, where you take part of the “Cool Dudes” plan and add features from the “princess” plans. Frankly, this might be a whole lot cheaper: $10 versus a $50 minimum.

Next Page: Does "de-gaying" a movie actually work?