Ask the Flying Monkey! What to Make of the Tea Party Movement? Is Mario Lopez Anti-Gay?

The Flying Monkey weighs in on the Tea Partiers, Mario Lopez’s appearance on Huckabee, and how (or whether!) gay couples should compromise!

Have a question about gay male entertainment or life? Contact me here (and be sure and include your city and state and/or country!)

Q: Mario Lopez confirmed he is a conservative during an interview on the Huckabee show and said he was a fan of Mike Huckabee. Even with all of Mario's gay fans, this doesn't seem to bode well for him being a supporter of gay rights like gay marriage. What are his positions on gay rights? – Wade, Crawfordsville, Indiana

A: It’s true: Lopez admitted to being a “gushing” fan of Mike Huckabee on Huckabee’s Fox talk show and identified himself as “conservative.” “[I come from] a strong Catholic family, grew up that way,” he said.

That said, he then proceeded to launch into a ten-minute pitch about his new exercise book – which, weirdly, is exactly the same pattern he’s used when talking to gay audiences: suck up to us for a minute or two, then flog whatever product he has to flog.

Part of me thinks: his Huckabee talk was mostly spin. Lopez did take the gay role of Greg Louganis in the 1997 TV movie Breaking the Surface: The Greg Louganis Story. But it’s also possible he’s one of those people who honestly believes you can be a gushing fan of vehemently anti-gay arch-conservatives like Mike Huckabee and also support gay rights and same-sex marriage.

In other words, it’s possible Mario Lopez is not very smart.

I asked out actor Nick Adams, who worked with Mario in the Broadway production of A Chorus Line, what his impressions were.

"I can tell you from first-hand experience that Mario, aside from his political beliefs, he has shown me nothing but friendship and support in regards to my personal life," Nick says. "I am incredibly close with his girlfriend and the soon-to-be-mother of his child, Courtney Mazza. Both of them have repeatedly extended an open welcome to their home in .LA. Mario and I discussed my love life on several occasions and he regarded it like any other relationship. He really appreciates his gay following and treats everyone with the same respect."   

That makes me feel much better, but I dunno: being a gushing fan of Mike Huckabee is enough to excise Mario from my sexual fantasies, at least for the time being.

I'm still working on an interview with Mario himself.

Q: My partner and I are thinking about moving in together, but quite frankly: I hate his taste. Is this marriage doomed? – Ed, Carson City, NV

A: God, do I feel your pain. The first time I saw the apartment of my now-partner Michael (who is also the editor of this site), I was thinking, "Idiot savant or just idiot?" But Michael and I have made it all these years, and you can too. [Editor's comment: I will not dignify this with a response as I prefer to rise about such scurrilous accusations. And now you know why we've made it all these years!]

How?

This is not Michael and me, but why don't you imagine that it is?

A key component of our relationship is something we call the Veto System: basically, whenever we have to make a decision together about anything, whether it's going to a dinner party or buying a new lamp, we both have to agree to it. If one of us says, "No," we call that "exercising our veto," and that's it, we don't do/buy it.

The "loser" in the argument might get a minute or two to try to convince the other otherwise, but if one person feels strongly negative about something, the issue is effectively killed. To get anything accomplished in our relationship, you always need two "affirmative" votes.

It's circumvented a hell of a lot of arguments, because it gets right to the point, making sulking and passive-aggression near-impossible. It also eliminates grudges, because if we ever do make a serious choice and it turns out badly, the other person can't say, "This is all your fault!" Every mistake is always both our faults.

Why does this work so well? Weirdly, we both quickly discovered that no matter how much one of us might seem to want something at any given time, there's literally nothing that's so great that you don't forget all about it an hour later – and before you know it, you discover something that you like just as much that your partner also likes.

It's also – get this! – organically created this new "hybrid" sensibility that isn't exactly his or mine, but is rather the combination of the both of us together, and I like that very, very much. Hey, it's closest we'll ever get (or ever want to get!) to having a kid.

Next Page! Just how depressing is the Tea Party movement really?