Ask the Flying Monkey! (July 6, 2009)

I’m not the parent of a teenager, but basically the Flying Monkey’s codger-y opinion boils down to, “No daughter of mine is going to go out dressed like that!”

Now all that said, these particular photos don’t bug me at all. Unlike the “topless” Vanity Fair photos, this wasn’t a “photo session,” and Cyrus wasn’t posing for publicity shots. It was just her and Shankman goofing around on the set of a movie. Knowing her status as a teen idol whose every move is closely watched, Shankman could have used better judgment than posting them on his Twitter page (and it’s weird that he doesn’t seem to get at all how some people might take offense at them).

But that’s all this was: an error in judgment.

Miley Cyrus and Adam Shankman

Q: I often debate with my straight girlfriends as to who has it worst when it comes to body image: women or gay men. I often feel that as gay men, we are bombarded with the idea in media that, unless we look a particular way, we end up alone. And shows such as Queer As Folk and Dante's Cove reinforce the idea that it is the exterior, not the interior that matters. – Nicholas, Interested, NH

A: I think women have it worse.

I agree with you that gay culture can objectify people. Your worth as a person often seems to boil down to how young and attractive you are.

But that’s just as true for women in mainstream culture. Again and again, the message to women seems to be: we value you as long as you’re young and beautiful. Dick Cheney was our Vice President, but I can’t recall anyone ever commenting on his looks. Hillary Clinton? Not so much.

And this is surely why Hollywood has virtually no female celebrity equivalents to average-looking actors such as James Gandolfini, Paul Giamatti, and Seth Rogen – and why many leading male actors work well into their 70s, while most female leads are washed up by their mid-40s.

Gay culture is a niche culture within a larger one. If a gay man starts to feel oppressed by gay culture, he can leave, if even for a while.

Alas, women don’t have that option. They’re doomed to live, 24/7, in a mainstream culture that often seems to hate them. Why more of them aren’t angrier about that, I do not know.

Photo credit: George Marks/Retrofile/Getty Images

Next page! Gay-friendly Mitch Hewer goes with the flow.