Ask the Flying Monkey (September 4, 2008)

Q: So Robert Downey Jr. has told Rolling Stone that his bisexuality was “manufactured,” just like everything else in [the] 80s. But I believe I remember reading that he attended a rehab center known to cater to GLB clientele when he was trying to kick his cocaine habit. Perhaps he just went because the center had a good reputation, but perhaps... – Bill, Amherst, NH

Robert Downey Jr.

A: The Monkey recalls reading a profile of Downey Jr. a few years back about how he would make $20 million or so on movie roles…and then blow it all on drugs, screwing over all the people in his life in the process. According to the profile, he did this exact scenario, like, four times. The Monkey remembers thinking, “How many chances does a person deserve in life?” Yes, yes, he was great in Chaplin (1992), and I’m always happy to see anyone clean up their life. But hey, there are a lot of people with talent who never get any breaks at all. Why couldn’t Downey Jr. get his life together by working as a counselor for other addicts? What makes him so special that no matter what he does, no matter how badly he screws up, he always gets a “second chance” to be a pampered, fabulously wealthy international celebrity?

Man, this country does love its attractive white males.

But the Monkey digresses. What to do about this whole phenom of celebrities who “come out” or imply bisexuality, but then take it back later? David Bowie, Marilyn Manson, Dave Navarro, and Elton John have all done it (though John took back his taking it back when he later came out as gay, and Navarro just seems to have been refreshingly honest about having experimented with guys).

Clockwise from top left: Elton John,
Marilyn Manson, Dave Navarro, David Bowie

Downey Jr., meanwhile, never officially “came out,” but he did definitely imply bisexuality in earlier interviews and was widely considered to be bi. But in a recent Rolling Stone profile, Downey Jr. says his bisexuality “was manufactured. I didn't have an identity. I was playing around. I expressed it. I grew up in the Rocky Horror Picture Show world, where even my butch friends turned out to be androgynous on Saturday nights."

Frankly, this makes the Monkey feel a little cheap and more than a tad annoyed. Sure, the public’s fascination with celebrities often leads to totally inappropriate invasions of privacy. But does that make it okay for them to manipulate us gay folks, to use our eagerness for role models just to sell more “product”? This also confirms those nasty stereotypes about bisexual people — that they’re confused in their identify or just plain flaky. Thanks a lot, Robert.

Next page! We'd like to Indian wrestle Sushil Kumar. Plus Louis Gossett Jr.'s alien hermaphrodite.