Ask the Flying Monkey (September 4, 2008)

Q: I'm interested in any pics or info regarding Sushil Kumar the Indian wrestler who won bronze in freestyle. DON’T YOU THINK HE IS HOT?!? -- David, New York, NY

Sushil Kumar

Photos credit: Toshifumi Kitamura/Getty Images

A: Because this column only appears weekly and must be submitted for copy-editing in advance, the Olympics are now long over. So what possible reason would the Monkey have to write about Kumar now? None whatsoever, except it would give us an excuse to show THESE TOTALLY HOT PHOTOS OF THIS INDIAN STUD:

Not to get all anti-American on your ass, but the Monkey thinks it’s worth noting that many American athletes have corporate sponsors that enable them to practice full-time, while most of the athletes from richer countries are publicly funded. Meanwhile, athletes from countries such as India are often on their own, which makes their achievements that much more impressive in the Monkey’s mind. Despite being an Olympic champion, Kumar has a “day job” as Chief Ticketing Inspector at Indian Railways.

The Monkey knows what you’re thinking, David: he can inspect your ticket any time, right?

Q: A movie has been digging at my memory for a while now. I can't remember the name or actors. See how hard I'm making it! What I do remember is that it looked like an early '80's movie, and the two main characters, males — one human, one reptile-like alien — were stranded together, they became friends, and when the male alien became pregnant, they agreed to raise the child together. The movie was my first look at life working without a traditional male and female household. If you can find the name of this movie, I shall bow down and kiss your all-knowing monkey feet! – Chelsea, Texas

A: The Monkey’s hairy toes are bare and ready for kissing! The movie is 1985’s Enemy Mine, starring Far From Heaven’s Dennis Quaid and Louis Gossett Jr., hot off his 1982 Oscar for An Officer and a Gentleman. The film was directed by Wolfgang Petersen, who is working with noted anti-gay bigot Orson Scott Card on a film adaptation of his book Ender’s Game.

Enemy Mine is the story of two enemy space pilots, one human and one “Drac” (a reptilian species), who crash-land on Fyrine IV, a hostile planet, and are forced to work together to survive. But things are complicated when Gossett’s character, who is parthenogenic and/or hermaphroditic, gives birth.

Dennis Quaid (left) & Louis Gossett Jr.

And you’re absolutely right about the clever, subversive nature of this storyline. Far too many science fiction aliens aren’t alien at all, but are merely zeitgeist-reinforcing clichés. But the Monkey vividly remembers being shocked and delighted when Enemy Mine, based on a Hugo and Nebula-winning novella by Barry B. Longyear, revealed its big, gender-bending twist. This movie, sort of a feature-length Twilight Zone episode, asks questions about sexuality, gender norms, race-relations, and even international relations (coming at the height of the Cold War, the movie’s message that “we’re basically all the same“ directly contradicted the hard-line “Evil Empire” rhetoric coming from the Reagan White House).

Sadly, it was also a huge flop at the box office.

The Monkey saw it again recently, and the special effects are dated (to say the least), and there are a number of clunky moments: even at the time, the notion that you would mine the interior of a whole planet using carts and buckets struck the Monkey as ludicrous.

But coming on the heels of sweeping space epics like Star Wars, this daring, intimate sci-fi story totally gets an A for effort.

Q: Have not seen nor heard much about David Burtka lately. Know his Mother passed away in May. Hope he is well, and will be with Neil Patrick Harris at the Emmys. -- Ocalaswan

Neil Patrick Harris (left) & partner David Burtka

A: The mother of Neil’s partner, David Burtka, did die unexpectedly in May from cancer, a fact that Harris discussed in a stint as guest-host on Live with Regis and Kelly.

But what of David Burtka? As Harris’ star rises ever higher, it’s hard not to wonder about Burtka, who is a respected actor in his own right, but nowhere near Harris’ level of celebrity. Is their relationship like a gay A Star is Born or is it more of a gay All About Eve?

Next page! More on Burtka & NPH. Plus whatever happened to Kyan Douglas?