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Ask the Flying Monkey (September 4, 2008)The truth, says Harris in a recent interview in Out magazine, is a lot more boring…and a lot more interesting. “[David] and I are both actors,” Harris said, “and I’ve been trying to be protective of him so that his identity wasn’t linked so much to mine so that he could succeed on his own. But by being so, it creates its own strange dynamic. Because if we walk hand-in-hand down the red carpet together, then he’s known as being linked to me. But if I walk down the red carpet and he goes ahead of me, then it looks like we’re not proud of being with each other. So that’s been tricky. It requires a lot of communication between us.”
Harris and Burtka have now been together four and a half years, but Harris notes that there is plenty of non-Neil Patrick Harris chapters to David’s life. “His first boyfriend — they had twins together,” Neil said. “So they were involved in the whole surrogate/making babies/two dads-with-babies-in-strollers thing, so he’s lived with scrutiny in many ways that I haven’t.” Harris and Burtka wear matching rings, despite the fact that they’re not yet married. "I'm a big proponent of monogamous relationships regardless of sexuality, and I'm proud of how the nation is steering toward that," he said. As to whether he and Burtka will marry now that it’s legal in California (though still unrecognized by the federal government), "I think if and when we do [get married], we'd probably announce it after the fact as opposed to making any big announcement.” Q: Whatever happened to Kyan Douglas from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy? The four other guys from the show have gone on to other shows, but Kyan just fell off the radar. -- Kaylan, CA
Kyan Douglas A: A spokesperson tells the Monkey that Kyan is currently working on a second book and doing lots of speaking engagements to promote his “Integral Beauty platform.” He also hints that Kyan will announce a new TV project very soon. Have a question about gay male entertainment? Ask the Monkey! Submitted by on Wed, 2008-09-03 21:02.  Actor spousesSubmitted by
Cleo63fan (45 points) (9 posts) on Thu, 2008-09-04 10:40.Perhaps NPH and David Burtka will be like Celeste Holm and Wesley Addy. Their degree of "stardom" was vastly different (she an Oscar-winning movie name and he little known outside the New York theatre world), yet they had a long and apparently happy marriage.
 That's not what I got from the Downey quoteSubmitted by
Strepsi (521 points) (150 posts) on Thu, 2008-09-04 11:46.I didn't get that he was manipulating gay folk as much as saying being Bi and androgynous was trendy in the 80's (it was), and he fooled around with guys on a Saturday night. If anything, be annoyed for him because he's a bit old to be playing that coy, but I took his quote as a tacit admission.What's funny is that EVERY straight girl I know has at one point lesbian-kissed her straight girlfriend in order to manipulate heterosexual guys. Every single one. Enemy Mine is one of my all-time favorite Sci-Fi movies. Thanks! That's not what I got from the Downey quoteSubmitted by
Strepsi (521 points) (150 posts) on Thu, 2008-09-04 11:46.I didn't get that he was manipulating gay folk as much as saying being Bi and androgynous was trendy in the 80's (it was), and he fooled around with guys on a Saturday night. If anything, be annoyed for him because he's a bit old to be playing that coy, but I took his quote as a tacit admission.What's funny is that EVERY straight girl I know has at one point lesbian-kissed her straight girlfriend in order to manipulate heterosexual guys. Every single one. Enemy Mine is one of my all-time favorite Sci-Fi movies. Thanks!  Maybe Downey was bi when he was using?Submitted by
dback (1762 points) (361 posts) on Thu, 2008-09-04 11:47.It's possible that he's one of those people where when he's high, gender ceases to be material. I've had a few moments like that in my life (notably at a Gamma Phi barn dance involving a canteen filled with Fuzzy Navel), and can't make excuses for them. As many times as he's played gay--including doing love scenes--I say he deserves some slack from the gay community. I know David Burtka is VERY highly regarded as a theater actor, he's just not at NPH's level of "celebrity." Doesn't need to turn into an "All About Eve" or "Star Is Born" thing. Lots of famous actors and actresses have spouses who work in show business or the arts behind the scenes and are very happy. They're adorable together, so who cares? Shout-out for "Die Konsequenz"--think I posted about it on a thread of gay movies that need a sequel. It's amazingly acted and gripping, and the ending will torture you with its ambiguity. Ah yes, "Enemy Mine." Someday when Dennis Quaid gets an AFI award or somesuch, he's going to have a hell of a clip reel--he's done consistently good work across various genres more than just about anyone except Jeff Bridges (whom he reminds me of). And he's played gay at least once, brilliantly (in "Far From Heaven"), and sexually ambiguous in "Playing By Heart."  Didn't someone tell Downey it's cool to be Bi?Submitted by
David Ehrenstein (7805 points) (1725 posts) on Thu, 2008-09-04 12:51.Obviously there's more to this "manufactured" business than we know right now. But until he comes to his senses he is dead to me.
 re brent hartinger's reply aboveSubmitted by
dwperkins (45 points) (7 posts) on Thu, 2008-09-04 13:51.you may want to look at why you "really, really don't like this guy" since it says more about you that Mr. Downey. Did you have an addict or alcoholic as parent or lover that let you down and he reminds you of this person? Something is pushing your buttons other than Mr. Downey.
 It's really quite simpleSubmitted by
 He's earned, and blown, approximately four $20 million fortunes, screwing over all the people in his life in the process. Amazing lengths were gone to to accomodate him because he was a celebrity. Now I absolutely believe that every addict deserves as many chances as possible to "recover," and I know it often takes many times. But I don't believe pampered celebrities should get endless chances to make zillions of dollars just because they're celebrities. The excuses that have been made for him over the years boggle my mind--"But he's so talented!" as if that puts him in some kind of special category where the normal rules of personal responsibility don't apply. My response is really not any more personal than that--I've never been personally been screwed over by an addict, though I have lost a few friends to drugs, etc.. But hey, I get what I'm reading about Downey Jr. from newspaper articles, and as the whole original question proves, people lie to reporters. So maybe he's a great guy whose taken full responsibility, who knows? And no matter what, it's always nice to people get their lives together--assuming he has.
Read my books! Explore "Brent's Brain" at http://www.brenthartinger.com  I agree with Brent about Robert DowneySubmitted by
db (3180 points) (661 posts) on Thu, 2008-09-04 17:42.It has always bothered me the way Hollywood has gone to such extremes to worship at Downey's shrine--and continue to do so. He is a talented actor who has screwed up over and over and despite his time in rehab I don't think he really takes the messes he's made seriously.
Come sit by me, BrentSubmitted by
David Ehrenstein (7805 points) (1725 posts) on Thu, 2008-09-04 14:30.Your unforgiving attitude gets me SO HOT!
Great, suddenly I'm the gay Dr. LauraSubmitted by
Except with a six-pack. Well, okay, maybe a two-pack. Would you believe a two-litre bottle?
Read my books! Explore "Brent's Brain" at http://www.brenthartinger.com no votes  Robert D. has always made me wonder.....Submitted by
Curtis (513 points) (101 posts) on Thu, 2008-09-04 16:05.The entire Robert Downey drama just brings light to the fact, that you don't have to be gay to indulge in gay sex. I have nothing against bi-sexual persons because I can say that I have had my share of run-ins with them but I realized early on, it's worlds apart from the world that I live in. Just because Robert D. is an extremely talented actor, who displays many layers of his being and sadly enough he does it in the public's eyes. It seems that it doesn't make him any less a human. I can't lie and say that I didn't have a bit of a crush on him, especially after seeing 'Less Than Zero'. It seems I was even more interested especially after hearing all the rumors, about his alleged and in-question sexuality. His sexuality has always been questionable and I think that the rumors are almost as old as him. It seems that he is one of the few entertainers that have made a few mistakes and has been granited a few pardons and it seems that he isn't taking his new found success lightly. He is disassociating himself with anything that could harm his career and to tell the honest to God truth, I don't blame him. I know that Robert D. is fully aware that there are a few people, that might be able to shed some lights and either confirm or clear up, all the rumors but out of respect for him, these individuals have stayed quiet. I think that as a society, we have turned back the hands of time because it's still taboo to talk about sex and sexuality. As far as entertainers are concerned, it seems that we like them more, when we know little about their personal life but we are designed to snoop around snoop.
Doogie Hooiser got a boyfriend........Submitted by
Curtis (513 points) (101 posts) on Thu, 2008-09-04 16:39.Everything has been looking up for NPH for awhile and it seems the sky is the limit for him. It seems that as far as having a pretty successful career, he is on top of that and has been a name and face that has been not gotten old. As far as being a public servant, NPH has done so without harming or risking a career, that he has worked so hard for. Last but not least and the sweet icing on top of the cake, is the fact that he just doesn't have the hot guy but he is involved in what has been dubbed 'One of the healthiest relationships in Hollywood'. Believe it or not but that would even be straight or gay couples alike. It seems that NPH and his better half, have rewritten the rules because whatever they are doing, is working and others are starting to pay close attention, while taking notes. It's not like he doesn't deserve to be in a decent relationship because besides being such an adore person, he seems so down-to-earth. It was common knowledge that he wasn't too happy about coming out because he was worried about his career. Well his paranoia about being out and being in the industry was a fluke because it seems that his gay status and his relationship aren't just covering new grounds but changing attitudes for the good. I wish him all the luck in the world, he so deserves it.
David BurtkaSubmitted by
db (3180 points) (661 posts) on Thu, 2008-09-04 17:43.I've seen Mr. Burtka onstage a few times and he is an excellent, well respected actor. Perhaps, like many theatre actors, fame isn't his primary interest.
 Now I wish I'd had payedSubmitted by
Steven (58 points) (11 posts) on Thu, 2008-09-04 18:28.Now I wish I'd had payed more attention to wrestling during the Olympics.:(
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News, Reviews & Commentary on Gay and Bisexual Men in Entertainment and the Media
by 
Wolfgang Petersen
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The Gays Of Daytime
Woo I had never seen Neil's
Thoughtful answers from NPH
You're too hard on Downey
I think you over look that he said, "I did not have an identity." You praise one person for admitting to "experimenting" with guys yet savage Robert for pushing negative stereotypes that bisexuals are confused? You also admit to reading into it that he was bisexual since you said he never "came out" as one.
So, really, I think you should rethink the viewpoint you're coming from.Also, about Elton John, he was sleeping with men and women in the 70s when he said he was bisexual. There was also his brief marriage to a women in the 80's. Around 1990, he came to terms with his sexuality (and drug abuse) and redefined himself as only a gay man.
Again, you're picking on someone because there isn't a black-and-white label that they stick with for their entire lifetimes. How close-minded and hurtful is that? There's a *lot* of bigotry in the gay community against bisexuals and sexual confusion and I think your piece perpetuates some of that.
Besides, are you what you do or what you are? Is every gay man that marries a women and father's children a heterosexual because of what he did, was he always just gay or is he a bisexual if he's been with both sexes in his life time?
You make some good points
Read my books! Explore "Brent's Brain" at http://www.brenthartinger.com no votes