Ask the Flying Monkey! (November 09, 2009)

Have a question about gay male entertainment? Send it to aftereltonflyingmonkey@yahoo.com! (Please include your city and state and/or country.)

Q: I recently watched a new series from USA Network titled White Collar, and I was stunned by the gorgeousness of the lead character, Neal, played by the beautiful Matthew Bomer. I can't seem to find much info about him. Mind to fill in more? -- rcLoy, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Matthew Bomer in White Collar

A: Bomer is from Houston where his father was a Dallas Cowboy. He was a high school (and, later, acting school) classmate of Pushing Daisies’ Lee Pace. He started on soaps, almost played Superman in the latest Superman movie, and co-starred on the TV show Tru Calling (with Eliza Dushku) and in the movie Flight Plan (with Jodie Foster), and also had a reoccurring role on Chuck.

And, oh yeah, a week and a half ago, the entire internet was buzzing with rumors that he’s openly gay.

Several bloggers with some credibility weighed in with personal stories about Bomer and his supposed same-sex partner. There was even a private photograph circulating supposedly of him kissing another man.

So is he an openly gay man? Nope. We checked, and he’s not.

Does he fall under our new category of a celebrity like Adam Lambert who, pre-coming out, was basically publicly “out” even if he hadn’t actually said the words, “I’m gay”?

Not really. Except for that photograph (which might not be real, and doesn’t mean he’s gay even if it is), the “evidence” of Bomer being gay is all hearsay. Bomer may or may not be gay in his private life, but he definitely isn’t gay in his public one. To say otherwise at this point is just speculation – and as I’ve said many times, I don’t write something just because “everyone knows” it to be true.

So how do I refer to Bomer? Not-gay-but-not-necessarily-straight? Sexual Orientation Unknown? No matter what I decide, I’ll probably be criticized (but that’s my problem, not yours).

But the issue really isn’t about Matthew Bomer. Every week, I get a number of emails asking me, “Is so-and-so gay?”

Sometimes I’ll research them and learn they are or they aren’t, but often it’s a genuine gray area, where the actor has never answered the question (and his or her publicist won’t answer my question). Sometimes I’ll have inside information – someone I trust who tells me of a personal encounter with the actor and his boyfriend.

But how do I write this without repeating gossip which we don’t traffic in on AfterElton.com – and without invading a person’s private life and, perhaps, negatively impacting his career? Because whether or not being openly gay affects one’s career, I believe that’s for the individual to decide, not me. I also believe that even celebrities have a right to a private, personal life – and, frankly, I’m kinda shocked that there’s anyone who doesn’t agree, much less a gay person or gay ally.

On the other hand, how do I, writing for a gay site, answer a question about Matthew Bomer and not mention the events of last week? Not mentioning them feels like censorship – and, frankly, makes me look clueless.

It’s all enough to make my poor monkey head explode!

Next page! Did Golden Girls make you gay?