Ask the Flying Monkey! (November 23, 2009)

Have a question about gay male entertainment? Send it to aftereltonflyingmonkey@yahoo.com! (Please include your city and state and/or country.)

Q: On last week’s episode of The Amazing Race, both Sam and Dan’s groin areas were pixelated during their mudflats volleyball game in Tallinn, Estonia – but no one else was. Upon arrival at the mudflats volleyball court, Sam, after a thorough survey of their male competitors, remarked how gorgeous and good-looking they all were in their black trunks. Could it be a case of uncontrolled standing ovation or just attire malfunction? – Anonymous

Sam (left) and Dan McMillen

A: What are you suggesting – that they both had uncontrolled standing ovations? That makes me wonder what’s in the water back in Liberty, Missouri.

But it’s true: plenty of viewers were perplexed by the curious case of the pixilation of the underwear of Amazing Race’s hot gay brothers. For the record, we did ask the network for an explanation (as embarrassing as that was!).

They never got back to us.

But an, um, uncontrolled standing ovation? That seems unlikely. For one thing, wouldn’t Sam and/or Dan have been aware of that? It’s only the creepy men in the showers at the YMCA who don’t at least try to hide themselves in a situation such as that. For another thing, the pixilation went on for the whole game, during which Sam and Dan were strenuously exerting themselves. That would be some seriously hard, um, applause, wouldn’t it?

Keep in mind this is a reality show. Sam and Dan are real people, not actors playing a part in a scripted story that is done in many takes. Here on AfterElton.com, some people speculated that American audiences can’t handle a little male jiggle. I think the reality is that the network erred on the side of caution to preserve Sam and Dan’s modesty – pervy AfterElton.com viewers such as the Flying Monkey be damned.

Q: Dear Sagacious, Super-Hung Simian: While channel surfing tonight, I came across the RFD-TV Network, which apparently stands for “Real F***ing Dreamboats.” They have a show called R5Sons Alaska, which is a reality series about 5 brothers aged 19 to 27 who live together and run a lodge in Alaska but are so poor that they can't afford shirts in the summer time or jeans that aren't 3 sizes too small. When I checked the RFD-TV program schedule, I came across shows with such titles as Cowboy Flavor, In The Bunkhouse, Hidden Heritage, The Roping Show, Animal Makeover TV, and Ms. Lucy's Cajun Cooking. Oh Mighty Monkey, could this indeed be a new gay network, or is this merely a rural cable channel whose staff is clueless about the homoerotic nature of the content and titles of most of their shows? -- Baffled Bear in Bama

The brothers of R5Sons Alaska

A: So, if I’m reading you correctly, Baffled, it sounds like you’re giving this TV network a standing ovation? Applaud on!

Let’s remember: gay fetish and gay camp are both the exaggeration of something real. It seems to me that you’ve stumbled upon some of that source material.

Next page! R5Sons show off their (totem) pole, and Sarah Palin becomes her own parody.