Have a question about gay male entertainment? Ask the Monkey!

Q: Just watched Little Children last night — what an amazing film. Plus, Patrick Wilson spent a lot of time naked yet again. As much time as he has spent showing flesh on film (and on stage, in The Full Monty), he seems to draw the line at full-frontal nudity (though in Angels in America [2003], he gives a glimpse of his apparently considerable charms in the scene on the beach). I wonder why we haven't seen the whole package onscreen — and does he give Milton Berle a run for his money as the biggest endowment in Hollywood? – DG, Chicago, IL

A: The Flying Monkey COMPLETELY agrees about the beauty that is Patrick Wilson’s ass. Wait, did I say that out loud?

Wilson is a new breed of Hollywood actor, completely comfortable sans pants, probably because he comes from the world of theater (and also probably because he’s got that rockin’ bod). If he hasn’t yet shown the full monty on film, I think it’s probably more because male actors in American movies are rarely asked to show the goods, for fear that they’ll terrorize the heterosexual male audience. (I’ve said this before, but for many straight men, the most terrifying thing in the British movie 28 Days [2002] wasn’t crazed, blood-thirsty zombies, but the sight of star Cillian Murphy’s penis in the first fifteen minutes of the film.)

And that scene of which you speak in Angels in America? Let’s let readers decide for themselves just how much Patrick really shows. Wilson also comes very close to full frontal in a fascinating little movie called Hard Candy (2005), but the movie is anything but a turn-on; he plays a pedophile whose latest victim, a pre-Juno (2007) Ellen Page, ends up turning the tables on him. Fantastic movie, but not for the faint of heart.

Wilson and Kate Winslet in Little Children (left) &
Wilson with Broadway cast of The Full Monty

In 2009, Wilson will appear in the long-delayed anti-superhero movie Watchmen, but not as either of the gay superheroes, Hooded Justice or Captain Metropolis.

EDITOR'S UPDATE: The original version of the article stated Patrick Wilson appeared in the stage version of Angels in America, which is incorrect.

Q: Who is the richest gay man in the world? I'm thinking David Geffen, but I'm not sure. — Cody

A: Looking to move up in the world, are we, Cody? True, money can’t buy happiness or love, but there’s no reason why you can’t find true love with a man who just happens to have a yacht and a private jet. So let’s see if we can get you set up with the man of my your dreams, shall we? Here is a list of your potential new boyfriends, all openly gay, along with some inside information to help you win them over.

From left to right: Elton John, Tim Gill, David Geffen

Elton John has an estimated net worth of about $500 million; he likes piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. Tim Gill, founder of the software company Quark (and a big gay philanthropist), is said to be worth more than $425 million; he likes the feel of the ocean and the taste of champagne. George Michael is worth an estimated $105 million; he likes making love at midnight in the dunes of the cape (and also at the nearby truck stop).

When Forbes publisher and closeted gay man Malcolm Forbes died in 1990, he had a net worth that was estimated to be between $400 million and a billion, but since he’s dead, that doesn’t do you much good, now does it, Cody? You might have better luck with James Hormel, the first openly gay U.S. ambassador and an heir to Hormel meatpacking money, but his exact fortune is unknown.

In the end, yes, your best bet is probably David Geffen, who is said to be worth $6 billion. (Note: several other top Hollywood executives are rumored to be gay, but have not yet come out.)

Q: I was wondering if Van Hansis or Jake Silbermann has talked about the kissing ban on As the World Turns. — Paul, Toronto, Canada

A: Neither Jake nor Van has commented directly on the controversy, though they did give AfterElton.com an exclusive joint statement regarding the rumor that they were asked by the producers of the show not to kiss at the GLAAD Awards two weeks ago. “It was our choice not to kiss each other on the red carpet,” they told us through a publicist. “While we love and support the characters we play, we attended the award show as actors, not characters.”

Van Hansis (left) & Jake Silbermann

Next page! Gay characters on Lost! And the worst song ever written!