Ask the Flying Monkey! (April 8, 2008)

Q: Hey, I just wanted to know where the majority of fans stand on the Luke and Noah situation? I hear a lot about fans jumping ship, but on the other hand, I see a lot of good comments too. — Ktranel, Monroe, WI

A: It’s true that tempers on AfterElton.com have run hot and mostly furious over As The World Turns’ ban on same-sex kissing. A lot of people have jumped ship from the soap: both the baby and the bathwater must go!

But do AfterElton.com comments reflect what all gay people think? Do straight people see the situation differently from gay people? Without surveys, it’s all anecdotal, so it’s impossible to say. What we do know is that ratings are up by 146,000 viewers over last year, with ATWT tying with General Hospital for third place in daytime dramas, and beating One Life to Live, All My Children, and Days of Our Lives.

My guess is that virtually every gay person is really annoyed by what was clearly a corporate decision to not allow Luke and Noah to kiss — maybe even because specific advertisers laid down the line and said, “We’ll pull out if you keep doing this.” Their corporate double-speak--"It's all about the story!"--isn't helping.

But I personally still have fond feelings for the show, its gay teen characters, and its writers who (it seems to me) have been doing everything they can do to show affection between Luke and Noah short of actual kissing. They gaze, they hold hands, they hug (a lot!). People mock the submarine sandwich scene (where Luke and Noah were joking about sublimating sex), but I see that as kind of a tongue-in-cheek commentary from the writers, a knowing self-satire and a message in a bottle that they feel as constrained as viewers by the new guidelines. Same for last week’s episode when Luke tried to kiss Noah, and Noah pulled back, saying that because they’re being watched by INS, “I don’t think it’s safe for us to be kissing in public.”

Ha! Get it? This is some of the best, cleverest writing I’ve seen on a soap opera since, um, ever. When was the last time you saw subtext on a soap?

Meanwhile, those smoldering looks from the actors themselves are, well, smoldering. It reminds me of movies in the 1950s where all the “sex” had be undertone and innuendo. But at the same time, Luke and Noah are definitely and proudly out, and their gayness is frequently acknowledged as something good and positive, which is not nothing on daytime television.

The accusation that the “green card” marriage to Ameera has somehow humiliated or devalued them? That doesn’t resonate with me at all. The wedding in particular: Noah was saying the words of love to Ameera, but clearly speaking them to Luke. The audience would have to blind not to see that.

To be clear: I think the kissing ban stinks. But unlike some, I still find the show watchable.

Q: Okay, my favorite British male actor is the late John Inman of Are You Being Served?. He did an Australian version of the show that has never been shown here in the US. I'm wondering if you know anything about it and if it still survives. Do you think there would be any chance of, say Logo, getting the rights to air it? — William, San Francisco, CA

Q: Regarding, the “worst song ever” you wrote about last week, see if you can find a copy of John Inman's “Are You Being Served?” It is hell of a funny song and so freaking bad. — William, San Francisco, CA

A: Wow, two Are You Being Served? questions in one week! At first I thought, “It’s Inman-credible!” Then I realized they both came from you, William. Oh, well.

Are You Being Served?, about an effeminate man who was presumed to be gay (but never identified as such), ran in England from 1972 to 1985; the first seven seasons are available on DVD, and the show has played from time to time on PBS and BBC America in the U.S. (but no current airings are scheduled that I could find).

Alas, the BBC did not respond to my inquiries, and as far as I can tell, there are no plans to release the Australian version (which ran for only 16 episodes in 1980-81, but which did star Inman in a “Mr.-Humphries-moves-to-Australia” plot-line) on DVD. Meanwhile, the Garry-Marshall produced U.S. version called Beanes of Boston (which starred Alan Sues from Laugh-In as Mr. Humphries and Charlotte Rae from The Facts of Life as Mrs. Slocombe) is also still-unreleased.

When I asked the folks at Logo if they had plans to air either version, they said,“We're aiming for current programming that features depictions of out LGBT characters, and also actively supporting LGBT filmmakers and artists who are producing stories in which we see out characters.” And point of fact, while Mr. Humphries seemed stereotypically gay, he often lusted after women.