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Ask the Flying Monkey (May 5, 2008)Q: Do you have any idea if DJ Tiesto or Safri Duo might be gay? My gaydar keeps telling me that they're queer, but I can’t find the evidence. — Safir, Indonesia A: The Flying Monkey wasn’t aware that you could be famous for being a DJ, but apparently he was wrong: Tiësto (who no longer uses the “DJ” as part of his name) tours and releases electronic dance music CDs that he often writes and mixes himself. “Tiesto is not gay,” Arjan of the music blog ArjanWrites.com tells me. “He is getting married to a lovely young Dutch lady on October 10. Plus, when I hung out with him in his trailer at Coachella last year, I just didn't get any gay vibes from him at all. And my gaydar is the best in the business.”
Tiesto (left) and Safri Duo Meanwhile, the Safri Duo are a Danish percussion group that mixes tribal and electronic sounds to create haunting, infectious beats (sometimes accompanied by vocals). Are they gay? I wasn’t able to confirm one way or the other, because most of what’s written about them is in Danish! Q: Maybe it's just me, but I'm surprised no one has brought up the fact that the lead in the poster for Kiss the Bride looks uncannily like Kevin Federline. Is it just me?—Jason, London, England A: It’s not just you! There’s a definite, and definitely eerie, resemblance between Federline and Kiss the Bride actor James O’Shea.
Poor James. First, your movie gets panned, then you’re being compared to Federline. This is the stuff of a publicist’s nightmare. Speaking of Kiss the Bride, I thought O’Shea was fine in what was pretty much a sinking ship of a movie. But I didn’t buy for even a nanosecond that someone with his perfectly toned, Neil Patrick Harris-like body would be that of a small town straight guy who never left for the big city. Have a question about gay male entertainment? Ask the Monkey! Submitted by on Sun, 2008-05-04 20:26. |
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News, Reviews & Commentary on Gay and Bisexual Men in Entertainment and the Media
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You forgot the biggest real life gay love story of them all --
Gay Icons and Love Stories
I think men can definitely be gay icons: in the past, I'd definitely include men such as Montgomery Clift, James Dean, Rock Hudson, etc., men who were gay/bi (if closeted), admired for both their masculinity AND their sensitivity, and who led the traditional "tortured"/"life filled with melodrama" that accompanies the female icons; today, the icons tend to be either those men who are out (Neil Patrick Harris, T.R. Knight) or straight (or claim to be straight) men who are sexually desired by gay men and acknowledge their gay fan-base (David Beckham, Daniel Craig) or those actors who (again, albeit straight) have successfully played gay roles (Jake Gyllenhaal, Heath Ledger, Van Hansis, etc.).
In fact, one thing I've noticed in the over the past decade is that if an actor plays a gay role early in his career (and does so with success/critical acclaim) then he creates an immediate fan-base that can help propel him on to other roles (assuming he has the talent, ambition and intelligent taste in scripts): see, for example, Russell Crowe, who first caught my attention playing a gay man in The Sum of Us and a bi man in Proof before launching his highly successful Hollywood career. More recently, I suspect European actors such as Jérémie Renier, Nicolas Gob, Jo Weil, Thore Schölermann and Dennis Grabosch are well on their way to establishing themselves as gay icons for those very same reasons.
As for real-life gay love stories, how about silent film star-turned interior decorator William Haines and his lover Jimmie Shields, whose relationship lasted 50 years; Joan Crawford called them "the happiest married couple in Hollywood."
Check out my blog: http://radicalsexy.blogspot.com/
Good point about "fan bases." We gays are loyal!
Loyal Fans Does Not Make An Icon
Men cannot be gay icons. It isn't going to happen.
There is a great book out there called "Gay Spirity Myth and Meaning" it's part of a trilogy of books based on creating a new gay spiritual identity. Granted new as in 1985-7 but it's a collection of essasys on gay men. It focuses alot on asslimilation vs liberation and similar discussion. One of the essays focuses on the role of gay men in native preChristian cultures and how many seemed to have been called to roles as priests and priestess of the Great Mother and went on to say that as time progressed we moved those roles on to our Icons. If this is true it would be impossible for a man to assume that role, and really there is nothing wrong with that. In my opinion to find error in it is trying to buy into the hetero-nomative world and assoc femminity with being wrong for a man. Not a great step forward.
"You will make all kinds of mistakes; but as long as you are generous and true and also fierce you cannot hurt the world or even seriously distress her. She was meant to be wooed and won by youth. " Churchill
Gay men will always idolize...
...a female celebrity: I'm sure there were gay men at the court (and outside) of pre-Revolutionary France who worshipped Marie Antoinette beyond just the fact that she was their queen, and later gay men idolizing Sarah Bernhardt. And so it is today, where gay men of various ages worship women from Barbra Streisand to Dolly Parton to Britney Spears. Heck, I, myself, have excessive admiration for women as diverse as Doris Day, Cher, Isabelle Huppert and Kate Winslet.
But that doesn't mean that gay men can't (or shouldn't) also worship male celebrities, and it isn't "trying to buy into the hetero-normative world" or "associating feminity being wrong for a man." As I stated, the men that are idolized by gay males are, 99.9% of the time, men that are first viewed as sexually appealing, something that is very different from the way women are idolized by gay men--the sexuality is somewhat neutered--we may admire, say, Marlene Dietrich for her theatrical sensuality, but we don't necessarily want to have sex with her. Montgomery Clift, on the other hand, we admire and create into an icon because we both recognize the demons in his life, his sensitivity AND the sexual desire we feel for him.
I think, too, that it also has a lot to do with wanting to emulate the icon: with the women, particularly women like Bette Davis or Joan Crawford, it was their fierce independence, ambition, determination to survive amidst the ups-and-downs of life in a patriarchal society; some of this comes into play with men, but our iconography for men is that we adopt, consciously or subconsciously, their mannerisms, their dress, their attitude. James Dean is a gay icon not just because he died young or had sex with other men, but because his attitude and approach was defiant, both exceedingly masculine AND feminine--butch and sensitive at the same time, especially in an era that was all about conforming to strictly defined norms. Look around today and see how many young gay men have seemingly adopted the appearance of Jake Gyllenhaal, who I'd argue is possibly the greatest male gay icon of our era.
Now, I don't think that the iconography for men approaches the zealous appreciation for the women, but I'd insist that it still exists, and it shouldn't be dismissed so cavalierly.
Check out my blog: http://radicalsexy.blogspot.com/
But when gay men are
But when gay men are looking at men they aren't looking at them wanting to be like them in personal sense. It's I want to sleep with that man or I wish I was like him enough to have people wanna sleep with me. We wanna be cool like James to attract the guys he did or we want to sleep with him. It's not the same kind of idolatry as a woman who embodies a quailty we identify with. That is why men can't be gay idols to the same extent. Even those gay men who are out and proud are sterotypes we don't always wanna other people to see us as or some part of ourselves we are embarrassed by. Who has Elton or Boy George as the same level as Madonna or Cher?
"You will make all kinds of mistakes; but as long as you are generous and true and also fierce you cannot hurt the world or even seriously distress her. She was meant to be wooed and won by youth. " Churchill
That's what I said.
I explicitly stated that male icons are not at the same level as the female icons; BUT, that doesn't change the fact that gay men DO establish certain male celebrities as icons.
Meanwhile, isn't a form of reverse sexism to imply that the earth is feminine? I suspect even Winston recognized that eventually.
Check out my blog: http://radicalsexy.blogspot.com/
What's it like in the Left Field?
I'm not certain where the gender of the earth or the precived gender of the earth has to do with this conversation.
"You will make all kinds of mistakes; but as long as you are generous and true and also fierce you cannot hurt the world or even seriously distress her. She was meant to be wooed and won by youth. " Churchill
Gay Real-Life Love Story
One of the best real-life gay love stories is Axel and Eigil Axgil. They were the first legally partnered gay couple, who got hitched together with 10 other couples in Copenhagen on October 1, 1989. It was a worldwide media event. At the time the Axgils had been together for nearly 40 years, 32 of which were under a common name.
In 1957 Axel and Eigil combined their first names into the family-name Axgil when they were in prison for gay rights activism. So many gay couples also changed their names that the Danish government soon stopped this early precursor to civil unions. In 1989 the Partnership Law once more made such name changes possible.
The first Danish gay society, F-48, was founded by Axel Axgil on June 23, 1948. Chapters of F-48 became the national groups in Norway and Sweden (countries both with civil union laws and on the verge of providing full marriage equality).
F-48 eventually became LBL, the Danish Gay & Lesbian Association, which celebrates 60 years of operation in June 2008, making it the oldest, longest continuously running gay organization in the world.
Lovestories
After immediately thinking of Hadrian and Antinous, I thought of Tennessee Williams and Frank Merlo.
I read Tennesses biography quite young and was taken by Merlos devotion to the playright; even when it got really bad, because it got really really bad. It always stuck with me.
I also remembered an article Brian did a while ago about the greatest love stories never told and who would play them, that might be of use:
http://www.afterelton.com/movies/2008/2/greatestgaylovestories?page=0%2C0
Sorry but for some reason I could not make that clickable.
Anyway, the article has some interesting choices, from every walk of life.
About Tiësto, I would have to agree, hes not gay. I met him last year after his yearly passing through town. He is nice and shy, but my gaydar did not make a peep, and its very well developed too.
Talking of development, NPH is looking quite nice this days. What I found interesting is that his boyfriend has gone the other way. I recently saw some pictures of them from about a year or year and a half ago and David was looking quite buff and this days, not so much. But they are both still hot.
Congrats Venerable Monkey, very interesting mix of topics this week.
Real life love stories
The love that dares
afhickman
"It takes a village (to make Village People)"
Most great gay love stories go unsung. However, history (and legend) offers a few exceptions: Gilgamesh and Inkidu, Achilles and Patroclus, Alexander and Hephaistion, David and Jonathan, Shakespeare and his "fair youth," Verlaine and Rimbaud. Of course, we don't always know what went on between the sheets or in the bedroll. But, if I had to nominate the greatest gay love story of all time, it would have to be Oscar and Bosie. Bosie remained loyal to Oscar (in his fashion!) and was even willing to hook up after Oscar's jail term. Oscar's "De Profundis" is ample testimony of his anguished devotion. My second nomination, though, would be for Helmut Berger and Luchino Visconti. When Visconti died, Berger proclaimed himself, in an autobiography, to be his "widow." The book itself is a great tell-all (in German) and is also very hard to find.Wilde, (with Stephen Fry and
Great suggestions!
"Biography lends to death a new terror"--Oscar Wilde
afhickman
"It takes a village (to make Village People)"
I don't know; I think there's something elemental in the byplay between Oscar and Bosie, even as portrayed in the movie by Fry and Law. After all, Bosie could never totally have Wilde; he was a public figure, married with two children. Wilde challenged Bosie's father in court as much to save Bosie's honor as his own. These two had an indissoluble bond. For a fascinating take on Lord Alfred's later life, read the biography by Douglas Murray, which focuses on his "litigious" side. (I have posted a brief review on amazon.com.) In this regard, he took after his father, the Marquis of Queensbury. As Oscar said, "For us there is only one season, the season of sorrow."Greatest Love Story
Equus
I've seen the play many
Here's a reason for Neil Patrick Harris' buffness
Equis
I also saw the movie version of Equis with Richard Burton several times, Ithe nudity was essential to the storyline I believe, and the story indeed blew me away. As far as seing Daniel nude, when he did the play in London, the Brits, not being as pobic about male nudity as we Americains, did include full frontals in thier publicity stills, someone emailed them to me because he knew I was a Harry Potter fan. I was Impressed, but the boy is 18, please. Still, the photo's were artistically done.
Dennis
Gratuitous Nudity
Moonlight
Correction for the Monkey