Ask the Flying Monkey (September 23, 2008)

Q: I was wondering if you knew whatever happened to Ryan Carnes' career. He seemed at one point to be all over the mainstream news and more lowbrow gossip columns with Eating Out and Desperate Housewives, but now I cannot find any news about him at all. Is he still acting? — Alfonso, Chicago, IL

A: Question: when Perez Hilton stops drawing semen drops on your face, is that a good thing for your career or a bad thing? (The Monkey votes for the former, because the less anyone has to think about Perez, the better.)

It’s true that Carnes, 25, seemed to be on the verge of stardom a couple of years ago, but that last step is a doozy. He’s definitely got the looks and possibly the talent (he was great in Eating Out, which is a Monkey fave). But he hasn’t yet landed that breakout role.

Still, he hasn’t given up. Carnes guested on Saving Grace earlier this year, and has three movies coming out in the months ahead. Alas, they’re all low budget indie projects (none gay, at least not that the Monkey has heard).

Q: What happened to the character Al Pacino played in real life in Dog Day Afternoon? Did he get out of jail? — Mike, Philadelphia, PA

A: Dog Day Afternoon (1975) tells the story of Sonny Wortzik (played by Al Pacino), who robs a bank to pay for a sex-change operation for his trangender wife, Leon (played by Chris Sarandon). The movie was a hit, and both Pacino and Sarandon were nominated for Oscars (as was its director and screenwriter, and the movie was a Best Picture nominee as well).

As you say, the movie is based on a real-life 1972 robbery committed by John Wojtowicz, who needed the money because his trangender wife, then known as Ernest Aron, had repeatedly attempted suicide because she could not afford sexual reassignment surgery. Wojtowicz’s robbery may have famously failed, and he was sentenced to prison, but ironically, he was paid $7,500 (and a percentage of the profits) for the movie rights to his story — enough money to allow him to pay for Aron’s surgery. She changed her name to Elizabeth Eden. Sadly, she died in 1987, just months after Wojtowicz had been released from prison after serving fourteen of his 20-year sentence. Wotjowicz died of cancer in 2006.

Meanwhile, Pacino, who gained a lot of gay cred by taking the role of the bisexual Wojtowicz, would go on to blow it all by starring in 1980’s Cruising, (rightly) considered one of the most gay-offensive films of all time.

Left: Pacino in Dog Day Afternoon,
Right: Elizabeth Eden (a.k.a. Ernest Aron) with John Wojtowicz

Q: On the Kinsey Scale of 0 to 6, how (truly) gay is Reno 911's Nick Swardson? — Shane, Corning, New York

A: If he knows, he ain’t telling the Monkey — he didn’t respond to requests for an interview. His MySpace page lists his sexual orientation as “not sure,” but the Monkey suspects he’s just being cheeky.

Nick Swardson

In any event, Swardson has certainly played a lot of gay guys. In addition to Reno 911!, where he plays Terry Bernadino/Jaspermens (the gay rollerskating prostitute), there’s also Matthew in Art School Confidential, Scotty Kangaroojus on The Showbiz Show, Jessica Biel’s gay brother in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, and, of course, the gay robot in Gay Robot.

How did it happen? “It literally just snowballed,” Swardson told Time Out New York (and not the Flying Monkey). “It was just a random choice for the Reno 911 character, and then the show became a huge hit and a movie.” But now, he said, “I don’t want to do any more gay characters. I just don’t want to repeat myself. I don’t want my MySpace clips to all be like, ‘Heeey, guuuys!’”

Did the Monkey mention that Swardson never responded to his request for an interview? That may explain why this question is last in the column.

Have a question about gay male entertainment? Ask the Monkey!