Black, Gay, and Twentysomething: Are We Lowering the Bar for our “Gay Icons?”

Black, Gay and Twentysomething is a biweekly column dealing with dating, race, media, and politics and anything else that comes to my queer negro mind.

It seems like I can’t swing a dead cat around my head these days without hitting some reality television D-Lister, wannabe singer, or whatever the hell it is that Levi Johnston does for a living, bucking for “Gay Icon“ status as feverishly as a fish out of water flopping on dry land.

From homoerotic Playgirl photo shoots (Johnston) to vanity “NoH8” photo spreads to so-bad-they’re-good club singles (Housewives franchise stars LuAnn De Lesseps and Kim Zolciak) to Katy Perry’s fauxmosexual pop hit banking on America’s endless fascination with girl-on-girl action (for straight male consumption of course), it seems like everyone is going hard for the love and adoration of the gay community – complete with the gay dollars that come with the territory.

I mean, really, who else is buying Tardy for the Party on iTunes?

Of course it’s all supposed to be in campy, trashy fun, but what exactly are we saying by placing such a focus on those without a whole lot to offer our community yet who are straining for our adoration and attention?

Miley Cyrus decides that at 17 she Can’t Be Tamed and performs at a gay club to screaming fans and engages in faux-lesbian gimmicks to add some edge to her image. Meanwhile, rapper Nicki Minaj rides bisexual rumors on the way to more attention given to a female rapper in ages, and perfectly bland, hot, and very straight men stand around shirtless hawking their stupid calendars at various pride events across the country while gay boys fawn all over them forking over the cash to worship these straight guys in private.

I suppose we gays should be happy about all this evidence we’re well on our way to becoming another demographic quadrant in the 360 degree promotional machine that is America in 2010. I guess this signifies a certain amount of acceptance.

The problem is that with most of these acts, once the dollars leave our hands, we shouldn’t expect much to end up donated to GLBT youth shelters or HIV/AIDS resources or any of the other needed programs in the gay community.

Which is too bad.

With the whole Target situation, we’ve certainly shown that we have what it takes when it comes to boycotting companies and corporations that are actively trying to sabotage us, so why do we continue to take the same crumbs these wannabes try to give us?

Much has been made of this so-called Pink Dollar, and while I’ll get into that particular issue another time, what is obvious to me is that we all have the power to decide where our money goes, and we’re obviously an attractive enough demographic that we’re pursued by all different types of folks. But perhaps we should be a bit more demanding when it comes to what they give us in return.

That, my friends, brings me to Kathy Griffin. I’m not the biggest fan of the way she mentions "The Gays" like we’re puppies or some sort of fashion accessory, but I‘m willing to forgive that annoying transgression for the way she actually helps our community while taking our money.

Whatever you think of her, July’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” episode of My Life on the D-List was powerful stuff. She used her time, energy, and resources to bring attention to an issue that is important within our community to the masses in a way that nobody had before. That is commendable work befitting someone well on her way to GI status, and in exchange I’ll happily fork over the cash to buy her quite funny book or purchase a ticket to see one of her performances.

And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the current frontrunner for Gay Icon status, Lady Gaga. Of her, I will only say that 2009’s National Equality March on Washington, DC was one of the most amazing days of my life, and I needed to look no further than just a few feet in front of me to see one Ms. Germanotta wobbly marching for gay rights in 5-inch heels.

It’s refreshing to see an artist with such a rabid gay fan base who actually gives back to the community in lots of different ways. (And let’s not forget Cyndi Lauper either!)

The symbiotic Gaga love makes me think: what if every entertainer competing for our money and adoration decided to take actual steps to help our community in the process?

Better yet, what if we demanded it? I’m not talking about empty proclamations of “loving the gays” or paid appearances at gay clubs to hawk their campy singles, but I mean honest and substantial change to bring about more visibility for gay issues or to donate their time to different gay-related organizations.

What if we were to hold these entertainers to a Gay Icon equality index standard?

Okay, Miley, you wanna add a little edginess to your image by performing at a gay club? That’s great, but do you want to take the risk of offending your conservative fans by speaking up for gay rights?

And I’m sorry Levi Johnston, but you’re not a gay icon just because a few gay boys with questionable taste (okay, like me) think you’re kinda cute.

We’re not getting enough because we’re not demanding it, and I can’t help but wonder whether Harvey Milk sheds a tear in heaven every time some queen spends $1.29 to purchase "Countess" LuAnn's Money Can’t Buy You Class on Itunes.

So to all the reality D-Listers, rap stars, up-and-coming movie stars and anyone else who wants to add a cadre of gay fans to their coffers in order to one day ascend to the Gay Icon throne, let this serve as a little reminder:

If you want to be an ally and a Gay Icon, it is earned, my friends.

Let’s not let them forget it.