Best. Gay. Week. Ever. (April 03, 2009)

WHAT MAKES A GOOD GAY CHARACTER ANYWAY?
Two months ago, when I broke the news that NBC's new police drama Southland would include a gay cop as part of its ensemble cast, I asked folks to guess which officer the 'mo would turn out to be. 

Then two weeks ago, I disclosed which  character the gay cop would actually be. What followed was a very interesting discussion as to whether or not making that particular character gay was a good choice or not. Some folks thought it was bold and interesting. Others thought NBC did it to keep the character from having a love life. And others were simply delighted he is a main character.

And that got me to pondering: exactly makes a good gay character anyway? I put on my thinking hat and went to my thinking place and pondered and pondered. Then I pondered some more. What I came up with after much calculation is this highly complex equation which involves four factors:

or to put it in layman's terms for you

Good Gay Character Rating = Writing + Acting + Originality + Screen Time

Yes, I could have just said that straight away, but doesn't it look much more impressive the first way all scientific-y? Anywho, each factor is rated on a scale from 1 to 5 with 5 being the highest score. So the best GGCR a character can earn would be a 20. 

BTW, if you're one of those folks who doesn't care about a character's sexuality because we're all post-gay and not every character needs to be gay (which isn't our point here anyway) yadda yadda yadda, you're certainly entitled to your opinion, but perhaps you should go somewhere more to your liking such as here or here.

For those of you still here, let's start off by defining our terms and factors.

Good Gay Character does not mean "good" in the sense of saintly or angelic. Frankly, "angelic" gay characters are (mostly) bad characters because they aren't very interesting. (See the "barely there" Roy on the now canceled Lipstick Jungle who was so sweet he could make you diabetic just by looking at him.)

When it comes to GGCR, the word "good" encompasses a wide range of possibilities including characters that are heroes, villains and everything in between as long as they aren't stale, tired stereotypes that we've seen a thousand times.

Factor #1: Writing good characters shouldn't be that hard, but judging from every episode of Two and a Half-Men, Rules of Engagement and most everything on Fox, it is actually terribly difficult to achieve. Good writing is clear, concise storytelling that briskly moves the show's plot along in an interesting yet economical fashion without resorting to hoary cliches. I mean you As the World Turns. 

Oh, no! Luke's been hit by a car! I never expected this to happen!

FX's Damages is an example of great writing where every episode contains more twists and turns than a boxful of wine openers. Dollhouse is an example (so far) of bad writing where every episode seems like a retread of an episode of Charlie's Angels. 

Factor #2: Acting. Good acting involves casting the right actor in the right part and letting them run with it.

Ugly Betty's Michael Urie is an example of great casting while hiring Jerry O'Connell for anything but a dandruff commericial is bad casting. 

Factor #3: Originality. Anyone who has been watching television for more than two months knows that this factor is one of the most difficult to master. All you have to do is look at the CW to see how hard it apparently is. I mean a remake of 90210 and Melrose Place? Seriously? And the new 90210 isn't even any good.

Factor #4: Screen Time. This one really shouldn't be that hard, but is where even the best gay character can go to die. The fact is, it doesn't matter how well-written, how well-acted or how original a character might be if they NEVER SHOW UP DURING THE &*#%#! EPISODE! I mean you Scotty Wandell on Brothers & Sisters!

Next page! Applying our formula to real live characters!