Best. Gay. Week. Ever. (April 10, 2009)

So spring is in the air, and the last thing I want to be doing right now is sitting at a computer writing this column, and the last thing you want to be doing is sitting at your work computer reading the damn thing.

No, we want to be out in the sunshine with the top down and the wind of freedom blowing through our hair. Okay, blowing through your hair – I don’t have hair anymore, I have stubble. But still, when I’m right, I’m right, right?

Of course, I’m right. So let’s blow this joint! Throw a 12-pack into the back of this Mustang and let’s peel off down that yellow brick road!

 That’s right – it’s the “Road Trip Edition” of BEST.GAY.WEEK.EVER!

Photo credit: Tom Kelley/Getty Images

THE BEST ROAD TRIP MOVIES EVER
While we’re heading for the outskirts of town, let’s get in the mood and review what are surely the best road trip movies of all time.

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert: It’s the movie that proved that gay film could be fun, and that audiences could laugh with drag queens, not at them.

Thelma and Louise: There are 100 reasons why I love Susan Sarandon. This is one of them.

Little Miss Sunshine: A family of total losers must prove itself by finally succeeding at something, anything, even simply getting their kid to a beauty pageant on time. But the best part is the ending that they didn’t schmaltz up with a feel-good “victory.” No, the kid does a stripper-burlesque routine on stage in a kiddie pageant – which, when you think about it, is a moral victory after all.

Paper Moon: Jesus, this is a great movie! Just watch Madeline Kahn, heartbreaking as cheap floozy who finally admits exactly who she is, in this brilliantly written and acted scene (NSFW):

The Sure Thing: It’s dated, but it’s still a classic – and an important part of a brief trend where teenage movie characters were interesting and three-dimensional. The trend started when The Breakfast Club was released on February 15, 1985, and it lasted until … two weeks later, when The Sure Thing was released on March 1, 1985.

The Lord of the Rings: Hey, it’s a “road” movie! They just cut the scene at Rivendell Beach with all the elves in bikinis.

The Muppet Movie: They’re muppets, and no one even seems to notice! I’m sorry, but this is Picasso-grade genius.

Sideways: More pathetic losers, more me dying to know what happens to them.

Next page!  Ben Affleck's strip tease.