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WHICH IS GAYER — SEX & THE CITY 2 OR PRINCE OF PERSIA?
This week I caught screenings of Sex and the City 2 and Prince of Persia  which was interesting as both are of gay interest and open today. But if you can only see one this weekend, which should it be? I've put together a handy analysis to help you decide!

Does it have a gay icon?
SATC2: None other than Carrie Bradshaw! Plus Liza Minnelli!
POP: Jack Twist is in the house! Yes, it's two time AfterElton Hot 100 champion Jake Gyllenhaal!
Which is more gay? POP gets this category. Sorry, Carrie. Brokeback Mountain trumps all.

Does it celebrate heterosexual love and reinforce heteronormativity?
SATC2: Definitely. Carrie and Big, Carrie and Aiden, Samantha and anyone male.
POP: Its budget was $150 million. So of course, Prince Dastan falls for Tamina and they live happily ever after.
Which is more gay? Big and Carrie discuss how they get to create their own rules for marriage. Very gay.

Does it have beefcake?
SATC2: It wouldn't be SATC without it, hence a couple of bare male bums, plus a Speedo wearing soccer team with some slo-mo close-up crotch shots.
POP: Jake Gyllenhaal did not get this ripped to hide his body. But the long hair does not work work for him.
Which is more gay? SATC2 has better beefcake if briefer time on screen, but Jake is in all of POP. However, that hair is so bad I'm calling it for SATC2 anyway.

Does it celebrate gay love?
SATC2: Yep! Stanford and Anthony get married!
POP: Did I mention its budget was $150 million? So what do you think?
Which is more gay? A same-sex wedding with a gay men's chorus and Liza Minnelli? Come on.

Does it have big musical numbers?
SATC2: Natch. Liza Minnelli sings "Single Ladies" while the gals sing "I am Woman."
POP: It's aimed at teenage boys. What do you think?
Which is more gay? Really? You need to ask? 

Does it have exotic settings and colorful costumes?
SATC2: Like you wouldn't believe.
POP: Yes, and they actually work better than what's in SATC2.
Which is more gay? Since the outfits in POP are actually tasteful, I'm giving it to Jake and Co. I don't know what fool did most of the outfits in SATC2, but it's hard to believe they were gay.

Jake makes it work, Carrie, Samantha and Miranda do not

Does it have homoerotic undertones and/or half-naked sweaty men wrestling each other?
SATC2: Not really. Big gets hit on at Stanford and Anthony's wedding.
POP: Definitely! How about a shirtless Jake wrestling another hottie! Lot's of men hugging after battles!
Which is more gay? POP for the win!

So which movie should you see based on this analysis? How the hell should I know! It all depends on what you like, and since a lot of gay/bi guys are much more into video games than they are fashion, it might just be POP is more popular. That should be me as I pretty much hate fashion, but honestly, while Prince of Persia is technically a "better" movie in terms of plot and production values, it pretty much bored me to tears.

Sex and the City 2 has a lot of problems such as not having much of a plot, a meandering pointless trip to the Middle East that bogs the whole thing down and a silly relationship crisis for Carrie. But the movie also has Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte, four women I really like spending time with.

Maybe it's because SATC2 is based on the long-running TV series with actual three dimensional characters, while POP is based on, well, a video game, but I found it hard to care much about what happened to anyone in POP, especially since you know pretty much exactly what is going to happen from the very beginning.

Meanwhile, SATC2 was much funnier, had some genuine emotional moments, not to mention Stanford and Anthony's big gay wedding, and even included some discussions about Carrie and Big figuring out what kind of marriage they wanted, which is something to which a lot of gay men can relate.

BTW, just as I predicted, SATC2 is being savaged by the critics and is currently at 9% fresh on RottenTomatoes.com which I don't think is fair, and I think is partially the result of sexism and homophobia. SATC2 really is just the female equivalent of the endless parade of testosterone driven movies that seem to come out every other week, and yet somehow those movies don't get reviewed as harshly.

This is way more lame than a Hot Tub Time Machine why?

Check out these movies and their RT ratings: Cop Out, 18% fresh, MacGruber, 47% fresh, Clash of the Titans, 30% fresh, Book of Eli, 46% fresh, Wolfman, 19% fresh, and Hot Tub Time Machine, 63% fresh.

Now I sat through Cop Out and Clash of the Titans and I had a hell of a lot better time with Carrie and friends, and I don't buy for a minute that SATC2 is worse than any of these movies. And the Flying Monkey can vouch that Time Machine stunk a whole more. So what gives with the harsh reviews? IMHO, it's that SATC2 is a movie that women and gay men are more likely to enjoy, so the mostly straight and mostly male critics feel free to judge it a heck of a lot harder than the testosterone laden crap we get every week they tend to like.

If you liked SATC on HBO, then you'll like the movie. Ignore the reviews. 

Next page! The Power Rankings take on a foreign flavor!