LAUGHING GAY BABIES GO ON TOUR!
Rather than make predictions this week, Laughing Gay Babies are going to discuss the summer touring schedule and who they plan on checking out when they come to town. As for me, I won't be seeing anyone on tour as I have to sit here and translate baby gibberish for the column.
BABY DJ: It's gonna be a gay summer for me! First I'm catching out Israeli singer Ivri Lider when he performs in San Francisco on June 7th and again on June 9th in LA. After a big Fourth of July shebang, I'm headed out to New York to catch Jay Brannan when he does New York before doing a whole host of dates in the northeast and midwest. Then in August I'm going to follow Rufus Wainwright when he performs in Canada, Pennsylvania and Colorado. Then I'm buzzing over to wherever Beyonce will be at because we're tight!
BABY VICTOR: I'm originally from Texas so I'm a big country music fan. That means this summer, I'm going to check out Kenny Chesney who is actually touring with a 12-piece band. Then I've got tickets to see hunky Brad Paisley. Both their shows should be sweet. But what I'm really looking forward to is stalking Keith Urban on whom I've had a crush on forever. Nicole Kidman better keep her man happy or else!
Brad Paisley and Dame Edna Everage out on tour
BABY THEO: Tour, schmoor. What's all the big fuss about concerts. Too much noise and fuss if you ask me with all those screaming kids. I mean, have you been around a two-month old baby lately? They're loud and obnoxious and got no respect for their elders. Things have changed too much since I was that age. That's why I'm sticking with the classics.
June 2nd me and the mister are gonna check out Dame Edna Everage in San Diego for her "My First Last Tour". I mean what's funnier than a guy in a dress, right? Then we're driving over to Vegas to catch five performances of the Divine Miss M at Caesar's Palace. Who needs your raves and your ecstatic drugs and whatnot when you got class like Bette. You kids should take note.
Baby Faye: I can't tell you how totally disappointed I was that there was no True Colors tour with Cyndi Lauper this year. But then I caught her on American Idol last week (I hope I look half that good when I'm her age!) and that got me wondering what she might be up to. So I checked out her Wikipedia page and guess what! She and Rosie O'Donnell are doing a "Girl's Night Out" tour this summer. It's like it's just for me! I mean, I love my gay boys and all, but sometimes a gal needs some estrogen, you know? The tour kicks off on July 30th in Niagara Falls and runs for two weeks with more shows in New York and New Jersey before finishing up in Washington, D.C. See you AfterElton ladies there!
BABY BENNY: Well, I'm not that big of a music fan so I'm actually going to be going around and checking out some NFL training camps in July. First, it's the Denver Broncos in Colorado, then I'm going to see how Tom Brady has healed at the Patriots camp followed by a visit to Arizona to ogle Kurt Warner. What can I say? I got a thing for hot daddies!
Tom Brady and Kurt Warner on my fantasy car trip
Next page! Shooting arrows at this week's TV
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