Best. Gay. Week. Ever. (June 19, 2009)

IN MY HUMBLE OPINION
Kings returns and I'm not sure why I missed it, John Stossel blows, Anderson Cooper soars, ESPN scores, Bette trumps Lily, Pushing Daisies rides off into the sunset and more Guillermo Diaz please!

KINGS: Hmm, NBC takes a show off the air for eight weeks and when it comes back, all of a sudden I can't remember what I liked about it in the first place. The dialogue in this episode was stilted, the Princess so saccharine-y, I'm now pre-diabetic and the plot included some lame plague that disappears after 12 hours if absolutely everyone stays indoors.

Uh huh. I read The Hot Zone and know that isn't how things work. On the plus side, Prince Jack certainly isn't your typical gay best friend.

TRUE BLOOD: I just didn't love that first episode. I found it kind of slow and poky, but I am delighted that Lafayette is back and wait until you see what's in store for him coming up!!

KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST: While I love Lily Tomlin, this week's episode just felt a little slow compared to last week's ep with Bette Midler. That being said, I love Kathy making Bette and Lily call famous people they're friends with and asking them embarrassing questions. But Jane Fonda was nobody's fool, telling Kathy to watch her mouth!

OUTSIDE THE LINES: About the only ones who came out of this looking good were the folks who produced the segment. The Nebraska coaches look like a bunch of hypocrites — naked pictures get you kicked off the team, but assault, drunk driving, illegal gambling are all fine. And those two wrestlers aren't exactly paragons of virtue, and no, I'm not referring to the pictures. What's "dirty" here isn't adult entertainment, but college athletics.

NURSE JACKIE: I love that we not only got to learn a little about Mo-Mo's personal life, but that the show threw in that fresh, funny reveal about Thor. I have to say, I didn't see that one coming. And Edie Falco is one of those strong women I just don't tire of watching.

WEEDS: Please, please tell me we're going to see more of Guillermo Diaz! He practically stole the episode with that prison scene between him and Nancy. If any dim bulb ever says a gay actor can't believably do tough and menacing, just have him watch this and he'll whimper like a little bitch.

20/20: You just know that when weaselly, weenie John Stossel referred to Adam Lambert's "sexual preference" he chose the word "preference" on purpose. What journalist in 2009 doesn't know that particular term is akin to calling African American people "colored." Then 20/20 tried to make a big deal out of the fact Adam has kissed girls and was potentially bi-curious. Quite the scoop there, 20/20!

As if that wasn't bad enough, the episode also included a segment on Glenn Beck that was so soft and gauzy, the camera lens might as well have been smeared with Vaseline. The worst part was when Stossel brought up Beck's recent appearance on The View and completely left out everything Beck had lied about, making it look like Whoopi was the one at fault. What a couple of sleazeballs.

GREEK: Yes, it was nice to see Grant and Calvin kiss, but it sure seems like they're not getting much screentime or character development. Why exactly are they so hot for each other except that they're both so hot? I'm sure it's something, but they haven't shown it to us thus far. Hopefully, this is all set up for a great storyline between the two guys next season. Because too much more stuff about Casey and Cappie might cause me to start drinking like a frat boy.

ANDERSON COOPER 360: Kudos to Anderson for such an informative talk about what's at stake for gay couples when it comes to the economic benefits gay couples miss out on too frequently. And kudos to Dustin Lance Black for getting out there and representing us 'mos in such a positive way. Too bad not every gay celebrity elevates the conversation this way.

RAISING THE BAR: Um, I know I watched this episode. But I can't remember much about it. I'm sure Charlie had a line or two and Jane Kaczmarek's Judge Kessler yelled at someone, but I got ... nothing. So let's split the difference and call it a sideways arrow.

PUSHING DAISIES: Bryan Fuller's whimsical, imaginative series might have been too whimsical and imaginative for it's own good, but the final episode was very satisfying. And it featured a nice cameo by a very funny and very buff Wilson Cruz.

Next page! Ryan Reynolds and Matthew McConaughey — separated at birth?