Best. Gay. Week. Ever. (June 26, 2009)

As long as we're discussing gay dads, a new poll this week that showed a slight majority of New Yorkers support gay marriage with 51% polled now in favor of same-sex nuptials.

Those opposed include gay-friendly straight women who fear that if all the gays get married and have kids, no gay men will be available to be their BFF anymore, closeted Republican politicians who fear there won't be any gay men left to have sex with them and former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani who, mistakenly believing there are only a finite number of marriages that can exist, fears letting gays marry means he'll have to stop at marriage number three.

Speaking of gay men and sex, Huffington Post blogger Mike Alvear writes about his fears that straight women are ruining gay sex for men. His argument? Basically it boils down to the fact that up until recently, gay men could have all the cookies they wanted without having to pay for dinner. And by cookies, I mean sex.

Or to put it another way, Mike's not down with gay men who want to actually date before hitting the shag carpet.

Apparently Mike wants nothing to get in the way between him and sex with a super hot guy. And what can kill that faster than Pat Robertson naked? According to Mike that would be a bad date wherein you find out you don't actually like the guy you're considering banging. Much better to be physically intimate before finding out he thinks credit cards are meant to be maxed out, voting is for morons and that sharing a bed with his parents during holiday visits is A-OK. 

At first I thought Mike might be a humor columnist, but it turns out he's a relationship and sex advice writer who had a show on HBO called The Sex Inspectors (which originally aired in Britain).

As for me and my cookies, I settled down with a delicious, homemade chocolate chip cookie quite a few years ago and don't need any advice from Mike.

If it's noon on any given day, it must be time for some politician to hold a press conference announcing that despite his lifelong devotion and support to Christian and family values, he's an adulterer. This week that particular press conference was held by Governor Mark Sanford (pictured below) of South Carolina who gave a rambling monologue about how he cheated on his wife with a dear friend.

Sanford weepily apologized to his wife, the people of South Carolina, his dog, and the old lady he didn't help across the street when he was fourteen. Naturally, he didn't apologize to the gay community for demonizing us as somehow being a threat to traditional marriage or for his opposition to gay adoptions, civil unions, any form of protection for gay folks or even for getting upset when his state advertised to gay tourists.

Okay, I'm naive to even think he might have apologized for being a homophobe, but given that the man is facing up to the fact he's a giant hypocrite, I thought it might be possible he could realize what a prick he's been about gay issues all these years.

But he didn't and probably never will, so for that and for bashing gay people as immoral, Sanford wins the #FAIL of the Week. 

Next page! Dancing with the Stars is really, really gay ... friendly!