Best. Gay. Week. Ever. (July 18, 2008)

SOUTH CAROLINA IS SO LAME
I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there was a big fuss this week when South Carolina found out there were ads in the London tube stations which read “South Carolina is so gay!” All I can say to that is just wait until they find out what’s written about them in the men’s bathroom at the Greyhound bus station.

No seriously, the advertisement in the London Underground was put there to encourage tourism — a lure for gay Londoners to spend their vacation euros in the state. So really, “gay” was meant as a compliment and not in the pejorative sense. But South Carolina didn’t see it that way and had a hissy over it.

The whole thing is pretty stupid because obviously a state can’t be gay — the statement anthropomorphizes a geographical area which on its face is absurd. It's like saying Rhode Island is a mean drunk, or Michigan has penis envy. How silly is that?

If it makes South Carolina feel any better, I hear California puts out on the first date, and Texas is a big sissy.

Still, looking at the ad you have to wonder who thought it up and who executed it ... because there’s nothing really in this poster which would make gay tourists want to visit South Carolina. It is mostly text (and in a boring font no less). There are no attractive features, such as men in Speedos on sandy beaches. Only a picture of an old house. Bob Villa aside, who is going to be enticed by that?

Frankly, South Carolina is not now, nor has it ever been, high on the list of gay travel destinations. I mean, sure, Charleston is nice and those Citadel boys are kinda cute, but other than that there’s not much to recommend it.

The Citadel dress uniform. S.C.'s gayest attraction?

MASSACHUSETTS IS PRETTY COOL

Where this week South Carolina is so lame, Massachusetts by contrast is pretty darn cool. Their state Legislature voted Tuesday to repeal a 1913 law which prevented out-of-state couples from marrying there. The law was originally intended to keep interracial couples from traveling to Massuchusetts to avoid the anti-miscegenation laws of their home states. No one ever thought to repeal it. When Massachusetts approved gay marriage in 2003 they didn’t want to ruffle the feathers of less enlightened neighboring states, so they used the old law to prevent gay out-of-staters from traveling to Mass. to get hitched.

The problem of course is that Massachusetts effectively missed out on all those gay marriage tourism dollars.

Ka-ching!

Photo credit: David McNew/Getty Images

California was a bit smarter than that and made gay marriage available to all regardless of residency. By one estimate, over the next three years California businesses will rake in about 700 million in extra tourism dollars as a result. Massuchusetts no doubt wants a piece of this action.

Hotel rooms for wedding party: $2,600

Reception catering: $13,000

Bachelor party bar tab: $2,600

A legally valid Massachusetts wedding certificate: Priceless!

Whatever their motives, hurray for them for repealing this law.

Next page! Gay hustlers galore!